A Life Worth Living
by Peace215
Summary: AU. From the end of "Tokyo" and beyond, we watch the Titans grow from super-powered teens, to daring adults that not only face battles as heroes, but as humans. They fight for love, their lives, and for their friendships against old and new threats. And in the end it makes them who they are meant to become. Various pairings.
1. It's not a crush

**A Life Worth Living**

**AN: **The life of the Teen Titans told through various one-shot chapters all somehow meshing together to form a complete picture. I've wanted to do a future fic for some time. I wanted to put a lot of flashbacks into the fic and explain the back story some, up until present time. But I think by doing it this way, a full chapter dedicated to each situation that will shape the Titans' future, would be more beneficial to you, the reader, to understand completely. Not to mention it'll be fun as heck to write. And long. Did I mention long?

**Summary: **An AU story incorporating the Teen Titan's series and the comic verse, mixing them together with a giant dash of artistic creativity. Comic themes are tiwsted, turned and burned and smashed into a plot that will be told in one-shot format. The ultimate end result with be a story within a story, showing how the Titans have changed, how their lives how changed, and how they grow together through these changes. Enjoy!

**They will all vary in length and size, but each one shot chapter can stand alone. They're like a story within a story with the last few chapters (if we ever get there) becoming the present point of the Titans - in the future. Confusing but bare with me. You'll see.**

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Titans, the story plot lines twisted from comics into this story, nor the actual comic universe. I merely write my own story based on these wonderful characters for enjoyment purposes only. You have been warned.

* * *

The cool air of the fall season surrounded Raven, distant scents of dried leaves and withering wheat greeting her. It was a new day, a new beginning, a new time in her life. The sun was rising above, the azure sky bright in its merriness and completely serene in the early morning light. Raven felt a strong purpose, a strong desire within in her.

She was free. Free from him; free from Trigon's influence and she was free to be herself. At last she was_ free. _

She looked down at her newly cropped hair, the sleek violet strands cupping her high cheekbones in softness not yet familiar to her. Had her hair always been so soft? Had it always hung just right? Had she never noticed the simple, beautiful lights the sun danced upon her skull? Had she been too blind to notice her own beauty? The beauty in the world around her, that slept so peacefully below?

What had she been missing since worrying over her destiny? There were too many things for her rediscover; simple games of chess not marked for strategy but for sport. Simply reading books not for information but for enjoyment. How much had Trigon stolen from her during her years worrying over his presence in her mind? How long had she been at his mercy?

She was free. Free to be herself. Free to do, to think, to feel, to enjoy. She was _free._

Two weeks ago the Titans had stopped Trigon. Two weeks ago Robin had saved her from a fate worse than death – complete dependence on Trigon, lost to memories and isolation in Hell. Two weeks ago she was given free reign of her body, control of her own mind without fear of what she could do. Two weeks ago she had become not just the portal, but a savior. A human with a life outside of destruction.

She was_ free._

Slowly she rose into a lotus position, her white cape billowing behind her. She almost didn't want to go back to her dark blue but she yearned for the darkness. For the familiarity of her ways. Two weeks in white, without the constant pressure of Trigon weighting on her was a different sense of being. She was not used to not having to mediate every waking moment of her spare time to keep the darkness away. She was almost fearful of being without him. It was strange to be sure, but she was coping, returning to a life she had experienced when she was four. Returning to a life not bent on control, but living life. And it felt like she was finally coming home.

But the white also reminded her that Trigon was purged from her mind, leaving her with her own thoughts and emotions. Emotions she could now feel, harbor, explore without the threat of the world ending. Without fear that Trigon might indulge on her weaknesses. The white was a reminder she had won; that she had finally defeated the demon who haunted her. She wished she didn't have to see it go but with so many changes she needed something stable and familiar. She needed the balance back.

Quietly she concentrated, the white bleeding away to dark blue, the cotton fabric melting away beneath her. It felt homey, but kind. She was back. She was changed. She was Raven; the daughter of a demon without his curse over her head. She was purged; she had won against her fate.

She was_ free._

Soon the sun rose high, a small smile on Raven's gray face. Two weeks ago she had hugged Robin and for the first time in years, smiled in thanks. It was the first time she had smiled without fear; all because of Robin. He had saved her. He had helped her. He had filled her full of his unwavering hope that had believed she was good and right and just. He had believed she was worth it in the end. He had hoped her life was worth saving.

She was finally free. And it was all because Robin had believed in _her._

Silently, during the two weeks of transition a seed of infatuation had grown in Raven's heart and she clutched to it dearly. It was the first true, real emotion she had felt since her fourth birthday. She was infatuated with Robin; admired him for his skill, devotion to the team and its members. She admired the way he fought for what he believed right, when all facts pointed opposite. She admired him. But it was also her first true, real emotion and she was unprepared to understand the feeling. She second guessed her assumption of what it truly was. Maybe it was not infatuation but something else?

Raven did not understand emotions as easily as some would think. They were different forms, all distinguishable in her mind, but within her heart, she did not know love from admiration, anger from rage, or sadness from pity. She was uneducated in these matters and for the last two weeks had taken to studying the emotion at night. She watched it bloom, watched it grow deep within in her soul when Robin complimented her on training skills, or when he discussed with her about recent books.

But Raven was not if anything cautious. She didn't know emotions. She didn't know their quirks or how to control them. Mediation had kept the personifications at bay, but now that Trigon no longer resided in her mind, she was lost. She was just another human, without the years of knowing on her side. So she took to nurturing the emotion until she could find a way of deciphering it. She didn't want to be wrong in her understanding of said emotion. She didn't want to be wrong about her feelings for her leader.

How would it look for the resident empath to have a crush on her leader, only to find out it was mistaken for another emotion? Her credit would be mocked and she would not be able to trust herself. The team would not be able to trust her and she couldn't have that. Not when they had fought her father to help Robin rescue her. She wouldn't risk falling out of favor with them.

So instead of pondering, wishing she understood emotions – which she had less of a handle on them than Beast Boy did with a mop and bucket – she took off to the one person who would know. She had decided this would be the only way of knowing for sure. The only way of being completely open with herself, with another person who wished to be a part of her opening process. The one person in the Tower who understood emotions, could decipher them and help her understand what her heart was telling her.

She teleported to Starfire's room then, mind made up.

* * *

"I do not understand," Star said voice slow and still heavy in sleep. Raven hadn't meant to wake her. If anything by the time she had resurfaced into Starfire's room, Raven was almost positive Star would be awake, brushing her long flaming locks out. Even now Raven could not understand the need for long hair. Maybe she never would. "You wish to know what you are feeling?"

"Correct," Raven said, voice gruff in the early morning light. Try as hard as she could, her voice still retained her normal deadpan. Maybe that was just her voice? "I feel something, and I don't know what it is."

She felt desperate, depressed that someone as smart as she could not understand what her heart was telling her. She only prayed Star could help.

Kindly, Star took Raven's elegant fingers in her long calloused ones. They were marred in battles won over the years with the Titans, most notably the one with Trigon, whereas Raven's fingers were not scarred. It was a stark contrast. "Then I shall help you. What does it feel like?"

Now Raven sighed, rolling her eyes. Explaining emotions were as futile as explaining water. Pointless and hard.

Carefully Raven concentrated on the feeling that bloomed in her heart, the swell of happiness and the brief flutter in her belly. Was that normal? Was she sick? "I feel as if my heart is racing to keep along with a battle I have not fought and my stomach feels queasy as if I've eaten one of Beast boy's veggie burgers."

Star pouted, hands clutching Raven tighter. It didn't hurt, but warmed her cool digits. Raven could sense her compassion and it made her smile slightly.

Star returned the smile. She was not so dense to see the results of Trigon's passing in Raven's demeanor. She seemed lighter, more calm and much more happier in her last two weeks. It was a welcomed change.

But she could also still see Raven's reverence for privacy and her control. It would be hard to ever break the control she had developed over herself and her emotions. Only time and concentration would ever totally free her from those bonds and Starfire's heart went out to her. She could never understand life locked behind thick glass windows, watching life but not enjoying the simple things that would inflect emotions upon one's self. It was wrong and unfair in Star's eyes.

"Do you get butterflies in your lower abdomen?" Star questioned, hand going to Raven's stomach. The touch was hot and Raven yanked back uncomfortably. She still wasn't too open with physical touching no matter how she felt about another person.

"More like bees."

"And you feel like you have exerted yourself as if you had in battle. Do you sweat, as if you had recently fought?"

Raven shrugged. "Sometimes."

Star nodded, lime green eyes blinding in the sunlight. She looked comfortable in her night pajamas and tousled bed hair. She would always look gorgeous. "Does it happen around something or someone?"

Raven didn't have to blink before answering. "Robin. It happens around Robin." Now her brow furrowed and Star bit her lip in thought. "Do you believe I'm sick? Or it could be leftover emotions from the battle with Trigon?" Then an even scarier thought came to her. "Do you think we never really destroyed him?" She almost spoke in a frightened whisper, but Raven wouldn't be too brash to do something like that.

She might have had free reign of emotions and control, but Raven was still Raven. And her control and pride were still intact. She would not admit her fear so easily to Starfire, even within the confides of secrecy.

Star shook her head, red strands falling over her shoulder. "No, friend Raven, I do see a change in your person. Trigon has left you. Could it be emotions left behind from your prison in hell, I would say it is possible." Then she shrugged, smiling sweetly. "But I highly do doubt it. I believe when Robin rescued you from hell as a child, and then you grew in front of us, all forms of hurt from your hiding in hell were erased. It would be unlikely for it to appear now, two weeks after your holding."

No one could fight that logic. Then what did Raven feel? Could she be right in assuming she felt infatuation for her leader? Impossible! Raven didn't do infatuation. "Then what is happening to me?"

"You might becoming sick, as you have had a trying few weeks within in the Tower." And she didn't jest. Robin hadn't let Raven out on patrols or fights since the battle, making sure she was fully recovered from Trigon's influence. It almost drove Raven mad with wanting to get out into the world as a new hero. Almost.

Now with strange emotions appearing, maybe Robin knew something she didn't.

"Sickness does make sense," Raven shrugged, twirling her fingers into her long cape. Star had noticed the blue back and she was delighted. She was Raven still, and too much change would not be heathy. It was good to see the original color back. "It would explain the feeling in my stomach."

"But not the sweating around Robin."

Again, she had a point. Raven decided she had nothing left to try. She just hoped she didn't sound as ridiculous as it sounded in her mind. "Do you think I might have a crush on Robin?"

She had closed her eyes while saying it. Star remained silent.

Finally commanding courage, Raven looked at her best friend. Her green eyes were clouded in something Raven had never been cursed with seeing, but her lips were pouted. She was thinking, a finger to her chin in deep thought.

"It is not unlikely for you to develop a crush on friend Robin." She sighed, voice turning wistful. "I myself have these feelings." Raven rolled her eyes discreetly; there was a shocker. "But what I believe you feel and I, are two different things. I do have the butterflies in my stomachs, the sweating whenever I am near him, but I feel happy when he is near. I feel delighted when he speaks to me and shows me attention in a large crowd. How would that make you feel, Raven?"

"Sick." Raven felt her stomach kick in revulsion. "I don't do crowds."

Star smiled. "Then it is not a crush, but merely gratitude for his help of rescuing you, and his compassion for your safety?"

Raven paused, weighting the options. It would make sense. She was grateful for Robin's help, and admired her leader for his unending support. Maybe Starfire was right. Maybe Raven didn't have a crush but was mixing up her forms of gratitude and expressing them to those that deserved it best.

She nodded. Yes, Star was right. Smiling, Raven looked at her friend, gently squeezing her orange hand within her own dark one. She felt confident in Star's reasoning, and her heart didn't feel as panicked before. It now felt controlled, understood. She had been right to choose Star to understand these strange feelings and decipher them.

"I believe you are right Starfire," Raven commented. "I am still getting used to these emotions. Please do not hold it against me as I walk my way through the transition."

Laughing, Star shook her head. "Raven, it is nothing." Her smile was bright with cheeriness. "I am only glad you came to me to help you with this. And one day you will have control and complete understanding of your emotions. It is not your fault you did not have the lessons of life until now to understand your body. In time, you will."

Rising into the air, her heart light and body singing with renewed purpose, Raven nodded her thanks. "You are a wise woman Kori. Thank you for your help." and she teleported into the kitchen area.

The sounds of the television were off, the lights dull or dimming as the sun finally cast its' brilliant rays on to the main living area. Raven took a deep breath, arms releasing tension. Her stomach no longer felt sick, her heart was not longer racing. She felt calm and in control. Starfire had been indeed right.

"Hey Rae," Robin said from her right. Turning briefly, Raven felt a pang hit her gut that traveled up to her heart then throat. Robin leaned against the counter, his bright and colorful costume matching the sporadic designs of the Tower. Two steaming mugs sat before him, newspaper under his arm as if he were about to leave to read it.

"I made you some tea. I'll be up on the roof enjoying the last few days of fall if you need me." He grinned, sending shivers breaking out over Raven's spine as he left. A white mug sat before her, chamomile tea swirling with one yellow lemon wedge in the center. He had even left a spoon beside it to swirl within the contents.

Sitting at the counter, staring at the mug with more emotions rocketing through her, she muttered her mantra quietly. Star had been right. Raven didn't have a crush on her leader. In fact, he had only been doing a nice thing for her as he knew how she took her tea, and knew her routine of sleep then mediation. It shouldn't have mattered to her as much as it did. Honestly she shouldn't have felt excited to see him, or nervous to speak to him.

She shouldn't have cared if she didn't have a crush on him. It had to be something else. Star had been right; Raven didn't have feelings for Robin. She was just misunderstanding a simple feeling gratitude around her leader, and that was all. And soon she would need to get it together if she ever hoped to fight with the team again and be normal around Robin. She would have to work through her misunderstandings and figure out her emotions. Soon.

Sipping the hot beverage, she sighed. Her stomach was in knots, her heart was beating erratically and her hands were trembling. But it wasn't a crush. It wasn't a crush but a mere mix up. Star had said it wasn't. And who would Raven believe; Starfire's unflappable knowledge of emotions or Raven's own heart?

* * *

**AN:** Chapter 1 begins the new series. I'm very excited for this one! I get to play with like thirty years of comic information and television cartoons. It'll be a fun ride.

Also, the pairings of this story **will** change. It will fluctuate, it will mesh, there will be confusion and drama to boot. Just know this is mostly a dramatic, romantic angst story sprinkled with fine humor and familiar ties. Now that you know this, read it for the stories and plots, and if you stumble upon the pairing you do not like, you are more than welcome to leave. Don't flame for something so insubstantial to the overall enjoyment of the story itself.

Next: A scene after Tokyo where Raven's emotions hit her when Star and Robin consecrate their relationship and Cy is the only one she can turn to for guidance. Very touching.

Thanks!

_Peace_


	2. Sacrifices

**AN:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed and put me on their favorites listings. Sorry it took so long to continue - I have this thought out, it just takes a bit of motivation to get there. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** See chapter 1.

When Raven Sacrifices For Others' Happiness  
(Takes place shortly after _Trouble in Tokyo_)

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Raven sighed, throwing tombs of literature over her shoulders. Her room, starting at seven AM that morning, had been clean, tidy. Now by noon, it was in shambles, all resulting from one irritated Empath and her hunt for something to occupy her time. Something to do on the early afternoon of a dead weekday. Something to keep her from jumping with repressed energy. Something to occupy her body, her hands, everything.

And her mind. She needed something to keep her mind off…_things._

"I've read this one," she muttered, tossing another book. It landed in the heap behind her, her bookshelves just about empty directly in front. They looked barren. She had never seen them look so hollow before. "And this." It too flew to the rear along with its friends.

Pretty soon her room would be nothing of the neatness she was used to; it would be almost as bad as beast Boy's room. Except instead of fungus attacking her at night, it would be the sheer weight of all her books crushing her at not being put away properly.

"I need tea," she muttered, hands clenching at her sides in frustration. Without her father's influence tainting her emotions with malice, nor the constant drive to leash her feelings, she swirled with ire. But her powers didn't stir. They were still tightly tied to her emotions but instead of a easy trigger, her mind was able to decide when they would be released and when they could not. It was a small benefit since Trigon's death. But it didn't make it easier, living with the emotions that racked her now.

She had stumbled upon the switch that would her powers react to her emotions right after Tokyo. Right after… She shook herself, glancing about the room depressed at her actions. At her anxious, nervous energy to do _something._ She felt irritation at herself grow and made up her mind, a dark emotion clouding her vision. Breathing deeply, harnessing whatever ugly bubble was crawling up her throat, she stepped through her metal port hole, making her way noisy to the kitchen for the dark beauty was stomping her feet as she went.

She wanted tea. And she would get tea.

* * *

Once in the kitchen area, her ire turned to aggravation. Directly in the emerald sectional sofa were Robin and Starfire, cuddled close under the bright afternoon sun, the movie they were watching muted. It looked like a sick romantic movie that would have Raven running for the hills as soon as it was featured.

How could they watch that garbage? Real life wasn't like that. It wasn't cute cuddly kittens, sugary sweet lollipops and brightly lit heart shaped clouds. It was harsh, real, and mundane. Nothing like the movies. Raven knew that from firsthand experience. As did many of the Titans.

The two lovers didn't realize they weren't alone as Raven began prepping her tea. They rubbed noses, smiled shyly, holding hands smartly as they whispered words too soft for Raven's ears. Like she wanted to hear. Then Star giggled and she saw her place her head of bright fire red locks on to Robin's shoulders and something snapped inside Raven. She threw the teapot down on to the stove, the tea bags were shoved on to the counter and the tea mug dropped improperly on to the kitchen bar. It shattered into a million tiny pieces and Raven slammed her hands on to them, aggravation giving way to complete anger.

Now there was no way for her to escape. And she had a mess to clean up.

"Raven, you okay?" Robin called back. The two lovers had separated and looked at her in concern. She wished he had been wearing his mask so she wouldn't have to look into his deep blue eyes that wavered in worry. She wished he and Star weren't dressed in their everyday civilian clothes. She wished they didn't look so perfect together. She wished they would just leave her alone.

"Fine," she deadpanned when she really wanted to rage out at them. At least her pride and self control were still intact at times. Not as often as she'd like. Sometimes she almost wept to have the barriers on her emotions; they were too hard to handle and she was too new with experiencing them. She picked her hands up from the bar and saw that they were cut from the shattered mug. Bits of ceramics dug deep into her skin and the sting was a relief. It kept her mind off thinking. Off everything…

"Let us help you," Star offered, standing beside Robin. It hurt to see her tall, lean and slender curves lighted by the blazing sun. She looked like a goddess in her normal light washed jeans and white t-shirt. It was so casual, so comfortable but she wore it like it was a Vera Wang gown. Raven wished suddenly for her cape.

Instead she wore black jeans and a royal blue t-shirt, feet bare, toes still painted black from her trip to the mall two weeks ago and hair hanging deftly around her neck. It had grown recently and she couldn't find the urge to cut it anymore. She wanted to give longer hair a try it seemed, though why she didn't quite understand.

"I'm fine," she bit out, grabbing the counter to stop from yelling. Without the influence of her father ever present in her mind, she was more prone to slips in control. More prone to showing too much. She hated showing too much. "I'll get it." She moved to the sink, rinsing her hands under the cool water when another pair of hands caught them quietly. They splashed cold liquid all over the sink guards.

Robin's pale, slightly sun kissed hands. Calloused, scarred and marred, unlike her cool, long graceful hands. They rubbed her wrist as he cleaned the bits off and she bit back a curse, trying instead to pull her gray hands from his so humanly palms. It didn't look right.

Of course it didn't. Robin was not meant to be touching a demon's hands comfortingly. He was meant for the princess of a flourishing world. Not a child of sin.

"You cut yourself," he mumbled, picking at the piece embedded into her frail skin from the hands he refused to let go. She jerked when he pulled a piece out. Raven barely noticed Star outside of her peripherals. All she saw was Robin looking down at her, his jet black locks styled upon his head, blue eyes oceans of concern. "Here," he pulled their joined hands back under the faucet, washing the quickly drying blood away.

Raven could feel through their link his worry but it was only dwarf by his want. He wanted something profoundly and it made Raven stop breathing. What could he want that passionately, that insanely that even concern for a friend was being squashed?

Then she glanced over his shoulder, to where Star continued to stand, hand to her lip, watching as Robin took care of her best friend. Of course. Raven had ruined a moment. She had walked right into something she shouldn't have.

Yanking away, feeling anger, embarrassment and shame all over her body, making her nerves stand on edge, she stepped away from Robin. She could still smell his light aftershave and clean cotton scent. It only made her madder at herself. And at ruining the moment; something for Star. For Robin. She shouldn't have left her room. If she had, she should have at least used her soul self to look for the others, she could have avoided the scene. Avoided them.

Avoid the emotions. They were suffocating to her uncensored shields and all she could think of was running. She wasn't wanted in this room. Robin wanted to be with Star. Just Star. She could feel it in her mind. It was pounding at her, drowning her in rage, embarrassment and guilt. And sadness. She felt the urge to cry but held back. Raven had never cried in her life.

Tears were pointless. The monks had said as much in their teachings. No one was going to help when she had fallen. Then briefly she thought of Robin saving her, and she knew the monks had lied. People would help her. But right now she didn't want help or pity. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to run, flee from the immense pressure of feelings all over her body; hide because she wasn't wanted here.

Robin wanted Star. It was evident through their link. She ached inside feeling that.

Apparently her feelings had been misdiagnosed when she talked to Star months ago. The feelings had only grown, festered beneath the skin. It couldn't be infatuation, now turning to endearment. It couldn't be. Something else was wrong. Star had been right. Star was always right.

Raven couldn't have been falling in love with Robin, her best friend's boyfriend.

"Rae, what's going on?" His voice was gentle. Too gentle. He shouldn't have cared so much. She was only a friend, only a half demon. Only a teammate. Why did her stomach twist as he smiled? Why did her heart flutter?

Robin was Star's, she had to remember. She locked down on the bubble in her throat, fending off all the conflicting emotions. Emotionless. Cold. Ice. She had to remain impassive. Why was it so hard to do this? Before it had been so much easier to remain aloof, detached. She suddenly wished for the control. She wished to be free of feeling!

"I need to go." She turned on her heel, too shaken and too dejected to teleport to her chambers. She moved with lightening fast speed until an arm grabbed her shoulder. She made it to the stairs before Robin had run after her. He was quicker. He would always be quicker. She should have teleported away.

"What's up? You've been acting strange for awhile now." She ripped her shoulder away, filling her eyes with white as incredible power came to her fingertips as anger rose like black tar into her mouth. She was angry - not at herself but at him. At making her feel like this, making her want him like he wanted Star. It was his fault that she hurt, and wanted, and dreamt for him. It was his fault, with his endless kindness, understanding and support that the emotion had grown in her heart for him. _His_ fault.

Her eyes shined white and she felt the power surround her. It was strong, it was ancient and suffocating. It terrified her. She bit back the engulfing sensation, the power burrowing deep down, into her gut and away from her use.

Her heart was racing as panic set in. That was new. Her powers had always been strong but those were more powerful than anything she ever encountered. Deeper, stronger, forceful. They paled in comparison to even the powers Malchior had wheeled with her. It scared her and she stepped away from Robin unsure of herself. Unsure of her ability to control herself, control her powers.

That hadn't been Trigon. Raven had done that. Strong emotions still could take control of her emotions. And the switch had been the grief at losing Robin to Star. Now that she had been confronted with it again, her powers reacted harshly. She would have to figure out her limits now that her control was faulty at best when she was confronted with this situation.

What was wrong with her? Was she losing it? Looking at her friends, she shook her head. "I'm not feeling good. Don't follow." And in a blink of an eye she turned into the bird she was named for, speeding toward the ceiling. Away from prying eyes and concerned friends. Away from adoration, love and want not meant for her. Never meant for her.

"What is plaguing Raven?" Star asked, coming to stand by her boyfriend's side. It made her warm inside knowing that finally, after years of crushes, fights and admissions, Robin was really and truly her _boy._

It hadn't taken long after Tokyo for the changes to occur. And it delighted her when he smiled at her, his arm snaking around her back in comfort. He was worried and confused by Raven's behavior. They both were. But he still kissed her forehead soundly, tightening his arm about her waist.

"I'm not sure Star. We should find out."

Star shook her head, locks dancing behind her. They tickled Robin's bare arm. "She said not to follow. I believe she needs time alone."

The arm only tightened more. He wasn't pleased with what she said. "Raven alone during a time in need never bodes well for her. She needs help."

He glanced to the ceiling, the urge to go after her warring on his face. Star watched, transfixed and felt a twinge of jealousy of what he was feeling. Their bond. He was getting her emotions directly put into his mind and knew she was hurting. He would always know Raven differently than Star. "Is it the bond that compels you to go after her?"

His blue eyes snapped to her lime ones; he looked shocked. The bond wasn't so easily talked about between them. He didn't even know Star knew of their closeness.

It was always hard for Robin to describe the bond to anyone. It was a link, an impression between them. It was how he knew she was still alive after Trigon had been brought into their world. It was how he knew now she needed someone. She needed a friend and inside Robin knew she needed _him._ She would never say it out loud, she would never even think it should he hear, but Raven depended on him the most. She depended on their bond the most to center her during her tidal waves of challenges. Especially now with all the recent changes taking place within her, the team and the Titans everywhere.

And lately, her changes since Tokyo had been taking a toll on her. Crime was uneventful, leaving the Titans with more free time. And he knew it did nothing for the young woman except make her think more and more. He thought the time off would be good for them. It would give her a stepping stone of understanding her new role in life, her new purposes, her new control and emotions. But it seemed it was only hurting her. He had to go to her make sure she was alright.

Star yanked on his arm. "She wishes for privacy. We will not disturb her."

He wanted to argue. Protest. Shake off his girlfriend and go after the only other person to know him mentally, as well as emotionally. She had been inside his mind; he didn't take that too lightly. Raven was his closest friend, his confident. It was she he looked for late at night when the nightmares she experienced took them both in the night. It was she who would offer a comforting presence when battles would take a toll on him.

Now she needed him, and he was torn between his girlfriend and his best friend.

The metal door opened in front of them, Cyborg walking into the living area, wiping a greasy rag over his dirty digits. A metal contraption was under his arm. One glance at them made him stop dead. "What happened?"

"Raven is not feeling well."

Cy raised an eyebrow. "You noticed too huh?"

It was common knowledge the young woman was more hostile, easily ticked off or annoyed. They didn't know if it was a response to the barriers broken from Trigon's release or something else deeper that she wasn't saying. Cyborg had a clue, but he didn't know exactly what.

"I'm going after her." Robin said, breaking free from Star, heading toward the door. She needed him. Cy's hand on his arm stopped him.

"No. I will." He tossed the piece of metal at Robin who caught it easily. "She might need a friend who can listen." As soon as he said it, Robin's eyes darkened.

"I can listen."

"I do it better." He smiled arrogantly. He knew Robin and Rae had a special bond, but if Cy had any clue why Raven was so upset lately, having Robin go wasn't a good idea. And he was about 99% sure he knew what was going on.

"Listen, Cy," Robin began but Cyborg was already waving his hand behind him. He wouldn't listen to his "I'm the leader" crap speech. This was something Cy would have to handle. Robin going… wouldn't work out so well.

"I got it. Go back to being cute," he called back and the metal doors shut. Taking extra precaution he sealed the door with a security lock – they used three and Robin only knew two of them – before heading toward the roof. If he knew Raven, she was floating above the tiles, trying to find her center of calm.

* * *

"I don't need a pep talk Cyborg," Raven droned from her perch on the edge of the Tower's roof. Instead of her lotus position, her long curved jean clad legs dangling over the side, hands folded neatly in her lap. The slight wind tickled at her face as the sun overhead began to descend. She almost looked ready to jump.

"Good. Because I'm not here for one." Cy said smartly, hunkering down beside her. His large metallic body engulfed her smaller one. Their shadows merged and became a giant mass of black on the cement top. She looked so young, so tiny in the late afternoon sun sitting next to him.

This wasn't the Raven he knew. The Raven he knew was hard headed, stubborn, a fighter. A survivor. This young woman was delicate, fragile, and pensive. Hesitant. Cy leaned closer, nudging her with his shoulder, smiling down at her brightly. She blinked once.

"Then why are you here?"

"Oh you know, catch up. Talk about weather. Politics. The Steelers winning another Super bowl ring.*"

She snorted. "Unlikely." Then her legs were pulled up to her chest, her long lean arms surrounding them. Her cheek rested against the top of her sharp knee and when her rivers of violet stared at Cy, he felt his heart break. She looked lost and completely afraid. He hated seeing on that on his 'sister'.

She was the only one out of all the Titans – honorary too – who he considered family. Both were given crap deals in life, both were halves of something whole. He understood that. And she needed a big brother right now. He could just tell.

Wrapping a metallic arm around her shoulders, he rubbed her thin back gently. She felt tiny; his whole hand just about covered her back. Had she even been eating? He'd have to make her some waffles later. "What's wrong Rae? You can tell me."

"Why do you assume something is wrong?" She asked indignantly. Cy rolled his human eye skyward, unable to stop from smiling. When she got silent, he looked back down and saw that she was lost in thought. Something was bugging her. Something big. She only ever thought about something when it didn't make sense to her, if she didn't understand something. That's just how she was. And Cy had to know if he was right about why.

He had an inkling but…

"This is about Robin isn't it?"

"What?" Her head whipped to look at him. "How do you…?" Was she that transparent? Would Star know? She wanted to believe her friend had been right about what she was feeling inside. She prayed Star was right; Star knew emotions better than anybody else. Star had to be right.

But she knew deep down she wasn't correct in her assumption. That it _was_ more than just gratitude. It was deeper. Warmer. Hotter. And it burned her stomach when she thought on it long and hurt her heart when she ignored it.

"It's not hard to see Rae, if you're looking." He shrugged innocently. And he had been looking. He was always watching her. She was the strongest of them but also the easiest to hurt; and though she wasn't blood, she was family. "You've been acting weird ever since Tokyo." And like a slap to her pale face, she winced. "Your emotions have been on lock down your whole life and now aren't. That could be a reason for your testiness, but I _know_ you. I see it all over your face." A finger went to her cheek without thinking. "I can see it in your eyes."

He pulled her closer, feeling her shake with unease. She hated being known even by friends. Raven liked being someone no one could pinpoint and now that Cy had stated the obvious, that she was known and cared for so deeply, it scared her. Everything just about scared her these days.

She was a different woman now. She was a feeling person, free to be _her_ now. And it terrified her. It frightened her knowing how she could be. Who she could be. How she could feel. And it made everything click as soon as she looked away from him, still letting his arm stay around her oddly enough. Realization dawned.

He wanted to laugh and cry. Raven of the Teen Titans was in love with their leader Robin. He wanted to laugh at the irony of it and weep for her circumstances. Because Robin was head over heels in love with Star. And Star had been in love with Robin since she crashed to Earth. He almost felt a tug of his protectiveness of the girl to his side peak through; he wanted to yell at Robin and Star but what good would that do?

He had even said "About time," when they had kissed after the battle across the sea. And he meant it. But it was after they kissed, after they got back on the T ship to head home, and they cuddled close before falling into an exhausted sleep he noticed her. Her eyes were watery pools of sadness; her lips were clenched against making a noise. They had been the only ones awake – BB had been passed out cold in the back – but he remembered.

Raven was heartbroken. Completely, utterly destroyed by Rob and Star's relationship. He didn't really believe it back on the ship, but with her constant spats, her ire and loss of control not of powers but of her own actions, it was hard not to come back to his original theory. Raven was in love and it was killing her from not being able to express it, or have it reciprocated.

"What do I do Victor?" Raven asked, her normal deadpan turning high pitched in worry. She was worried what Star would think if she found out her true emotions. What Robin would do if he ever found out. "I can't continue being like this." She sighed, rubbing her nose. "It hurts to feel this way. It hurts seeing my two closest friends together. It hurts knowing what Robin feels from our bond." Her head dropped her to knees again, thoughts and feelings turning dark. "I can't stop it."

"You can't stop emotions Rae," Cyborg agreed, pulling her closer. She cuddled up to his side, her head resting on his chest. He smiled so softly, pleased she was finally coming around. "But you also have to make a choice. Fight for what you want, or sacrifice for those you love. And once you decide, you can begin making a plan." Because that was how Raven worked. She liked having a plan, a logical take on anything. And helping her look at it like a list was better than just giving her advice she didn't need to hear.

What advice could he offer anyway? He was the close personal friend. He wanted her happy, but he wanted Star and Rob happy. He knew all of this wouldn't work out in the end, but he was still willing to be there every step of the way.

Letting her to her thoughts for a bit, Cy pulled away to look down at her. She still looked so tiny, so much younger than her wise nineteen years that it was heart shattering. She was so unsure, on uneven footing in this that Cy couldn't help the swell of pity. She didn't know emotions. She didn't know how to fight for someone. How to love. How to cry even. And it was earth quaking real.

Life wasn't easy for Raven. He wished she could have the happy ending in the romance movies that Star and BB always watched. She deserved it.

"So?" his voice was a soft rumble, kind and compassionate.

Raven sighed. "I know what I must do in this situation." She leaned away, glancing up at him. The smile was hesitant, untested and sweet. Cy grinned right back. It made his heart swell as her openness. "I appreciate what you've done for me. But this is something I have to do alone."

He nodded, completely understanding her need for privacy and to be alone in it. She earned that right in the Tower if she was able to keep BB out of her room as long as she had. But as she stood, he gripped her hand in his metallic one, the shiny blue gleaming in the dying sun against her smooth gray skin. Two halves, he snorted lightly.

Robin might have had the bond with her, he might have a connection, a mental link that alerted them both to the others feelings and whereabouts but there was no way he could ever understand the workings of a Halfling like Cyborg could. Half man, half machine. He looked up at Rae. Half demon, have woman. He got it. He got the pull. The self hatred at times. The complete lack of understanding yourself, yet getting it at the same time. Cy knew all about it.

"You know you're not alone right? You might think at times you are, and whatever path you choose will be hard to live with. But I'm behind you. And I'm here. If you want to chat," he smiled good naturally, tongue in cheek. She smirked kindly, rolling her eyes as the hands parted. He felt her squeeze just before she pulled away.

Just enough of a comfort that she understood Cy was there. Just enough to know she got that he cared about her and wanted to help. That they all cared really. But she was an independent young lady, and Cy had to remember that she'd rather fight her own battles than include the others. He just hoped she wouldn't lose herself in this one. Matters of the heart never did end pretty.

"Chat about the Steelers?"

"You know it."

She snorted delicately, and walked to the rooftop door. She glanced back at him, nodded and disappeared through the darkness. Cy sighed, unsure if what lay ahead would be easy to live with in the Tower or if he should jump ship now.

* * *

Sitting in her darkened room, the last rays of sun disappearing behind the horizon, Raven closed her eyes and softly sighed. Cyborg had been right – she could either fight for what she wanted, or sacrifice for those she cared for. It would be difficult, but Raven already knew what she had to do.

Star was her best friend. She had loved Robin since the day she crashed and kissed the young boy to learn their language. She deserved to finally have him. Raven nodded once to herself, ignored the pang of hurt in her chest and walked over to her mirror.

Taking a few calming breaths, she knew she would have to speak to this new emotion that had developed and put it away into the recesses of her mind. She would have to lock it away – she already accepted how she felt – but she would keep it hidden. She would not fight for Robin; he was to be loved by Starfire and that was it. She would sacrifice for them both, for them to be happy.

It was then before Raven said her mantra that she realized sometimes people can only be happy when others give up their happiness for those they care about. Demurely Raven chanted, "Azarath Metrion Zinthos." And quickly she was sucked into the deep recesses of her mind, with a clear goal to hide the emotion so that her friends would be happy, and she could begin controlling herself once again.

* * *

**AN:** Well what do we think? Like I said, each one shot in time, telling a story one moment at a time. Any thoughts?

"Oh you know, catch up. Talk about weather. Politics. The Steelers winning another Super bowl ring.": I dated a hardcore Steelers fan about a year ago (I actually have a one-shot plot bunny for Football season in the works) and his attitude reminds me slightly of Cyborg. And since he came from "Steel City"... well put two and two together. In my mind, Cyborg will always be a Steelers fan (we already know he's a huge football fan from his high school career). Just some fun.

**Next chapter:** Slade returns, a team member is lost, Raven learns the full extent of her powers without her father's influence, Robin and Star bond, Beast Boy matures and Cyborg makes improvements.

Peace


	3. He Has Returned

**AN:** Thank you again for reviews and the favorites! I'm jumping back into this story with a fever – I love writing AU and combining everything I want together to tell a whole story. It's so much fun!

Another side note, I'm utterly exhausted. I've been staying up late and getting up early for the past two weeks because I've been with friends from other states, while they are here visiting NY. They'll be leaving this weekend and hopefully I'll sleep then. So if there are typos, or mistakes, blame it on the lack of sleep. I just wanted to get this up!

Enjoy!

**Chapter 3**

**He Has Returned**

_(About four months after Tokyo, more than a year after Trigon's appearance and the Brotherhood of Evil's battle)_

* * *

Robin sat by the wayside near the open windows of the Tower, his ears and eyes tuned into the scene before him. Colorful balloons were strung up high – in reds, greens and yellows – with a pile of decorative presents by the front metal doors. The TV was blank, silent as it was the first time in awhile since their return from Tokyo not more than four months ago (Beast Boy and Cyborg had found a surplus of games not yet released in the United States) and streamers dangled across the ceiling like swooping birds. Everyone around him was dressed in civilian clothes because today wasn't a Titan affair, but a friend event.

Robin was turning twenty one. Today was his birthday; the first day of spring, the beginning of good weather, good times, outside volleyball on the Titan's roof, and swimming in the bay. He felt himself smile.

He watched Star drifting across the air, her cinnamon dress clinging to her slender curves that had almost developed over night, to her flaming brilliant hair that hung in soft curls against her sun kissed skin. She looked happy, radiant in the soft lighting and when she smiled Robin found himself smiling along with her.

They had finally begun a relationship the night back from Tokyo. He had finally found the nerve to talk to the girl that had stolen his heart six years ago, during her first violent encounter with Earth. And he was even gladder that their life, their enemies hadn't used it against them. He felt relieved and free all at once. Even now, a glance from her could increase his heartbeat to near maddening levels. Finally, Robin was happy.

Smirking, he watched Beast Boy, in ratty jeans and a yellow t-shirt grab Star from behind as Cy held a piece of double chocolate cake to her face with deep dark chocolate frosting. He pushed it forward, getting just her nose into the confection, a dark spot on her bright face. She giggled and the various other superheroes, Speedy, Aqualad, Bee, Kid Flash and Mos and Mena among others, in normal clothing all turned to laugh and jeer. Some even clapped when Star's eyes burned green and Cy with BB behind him, fled from the alien princess.

He felt a sense of comfort fill him. Finally after years of turmoil, years of battles and being kicked back three steps for every step forward, he and his friends were where they wanted to be. They were happy and together and felt pride at knowing they had all worked for it. He was ecstatic that they had earned and achieved their goals and were all happy. They had saved the Earth – three times now – and finally were being rewarded for their troubles. Robin couldn't have been happier for himself and his team.

Then stilling himself, he felt another presence step next to him. It was like a cool cocoon of peace that filled him with the scent of lavender and chamomile tea. _Raven._ His mind fizzled slightly as the link tried to patch them together but lately Raven had been keeping it closed. It was disheartening to Robin, but as a good friend and experienced leader he prided himself on knowing her moods and her privacy. If she didn't want him in her mind, then he wouldn't force it. But it left him feeling hollow and slightly empty without the comforting touch of her mind with his. He didn't realize it until then, how much he depended on the link and her to keep him grounded.

"Enjoying yourself?" She asked in her normal gritty voice, her head coming to reach the top of his shoulder barely. It felt like overnight all the team had grown. Robin was taller, dwarfing Beast Boy in height and muscle.

Cyborg was still much larger due to his metal enhancements but BB had begun to sport lean and developed muscles even if his height had only slightly increased. He was trying to grow out a small patch of hair on his chin as a goatee.

He glanced to his left and smirked down at his friend. Raven was no different. Her height had only grown by an inch or two, being the shortest of the group now. But Robin would be blind if he ignored how she had grown into a mature woman. Her lips were full; her eyes were deeper and more soulful since her final battle with her father, and her curves were barely contained behind her uniform. She had a long, dancer's body, with wide hips, a flat stomach and elegant collar bone Now, in a stylish black dress, with a high front and a wide open black that cut dangerously low, she looked regal and incredibly beautiful in a very classy fashion.

He was more than happy to see her finally expressing herself, out of the shell she had constructed since she had been a young child. But she was still sharp tongued and witty. He was glad to see that hadn't changed in his friend.

"I am." He nodded toward the general direction of everyone. "We've been attack free for four months. No real trouble since Tokyo. Everyone's having a good time. And," he nudged her gently, ruffling the arms that were bare and crossed over the conservative front of her chest. She didn't adorn herself in jewelry like Bumblebee with large dangling golden hoops that reminded everyone of the sun and a short golden dress that off set her dark skin nicely; Bee was ostentatious and Star was model worthy. Raven only wore two simple silver rings, one on each hand, a striking and simple look. "Someone decided to join us and dress up."

She quirked an eyebrow, her lips turning up slightly as if trying to hide a smile. He liked knowing her emotions were more pronounced but it would be an even longer time until she would feel comfortable enough to express herself so openly. Robin hoped that day was soon. Raven, out of all of them, deserved happiness the most.

"Unlike some people," she quipped pointedly staring at Beast Boy and Robin chuckled under his breath. The group was now gathering around the presents and Raven sighed. They could both see the gleam in BB's eyes and hear the excited chat between the twins. "Looks like its present time for the birthday boy."

"I hate this part," Robin groaned setting the cup of punch down. They might have all recently turned the legal age of drinking – minus Beast Boy who had a few months longer to go – but they had decided as protectors of a city, drinking with the possibility of a threat right around the corner was not a smart move. Even if, Speedy voiced his disappointment loudly. "Beast Boy turns into a kid on crack when he's presented new things to touch and break. Especially if they're not for him."

Raven snorted delicately as she followed Robin to the large group. They could see Beast Boy humming with excited energy, trying in vain to wait for Robin to walk over to the massive pile. They could see Aqualad slapping his hands away from a blue wrapped gift with silver ribbons – given from Cyborg. Robin was just about to yell out something to the jokester when Raven tugged him back tightly. He faced her, eyebrow raised as she slowly released his hand. Raven pushed a darkly wrapped gift into his vacate hands, face dusting prettily in pink.

She looked nervous and unsure and she bit at lip in anxiousness. Robin couldn't help but smile at the cute pixie look on her pale face. "I don't do crowds," she whispered, nodding toward the restless group behind them. None of them paid attention to the two birds talking as Cy began laughing at a joke from Kid Flash. Beast Boy shouted something akin to "hurry up!" and there were a chorus of agreement. "But I wanted you to have something for your birthday nonetheless. Please take it and open it later tonight. I need to depart and mediate before everyone's emotions get to me."

Robin opened his mouth to argue – Raven barely needed to mediate any longer to control emotions. It was a generally known fact. Yet he knew her impulse to hide was strong; especially when everyone around her was feeling too much and it could be suffocating to the shorter woman. Before him she turned into a dark shadow and flew through the air toward the roof, black and white lights meshing with the grey tiling. Robin looked down at the gift and scratched the back of his head in confusion.

He was just about to follow her – because something was seriously wrong with the woman, he could just tell, even if she liked to think she was like ice - when a strong yet gentle hand gripped his shoulder. He turned to stare into the most beautiful set of emeralds he had ever known. Starfire smiled shyly, lips thin and painted a deep ruby color that set against her skin perfectly.

Sporadically Robin thought of Raven and the lack of make up on her visage.

"Are you alright?" Star asked voice low and sweet. The music was tolerable and his friends' laughs were loud, but her voice was the only thing he heard. It was like light chimes in the wind of a bright summer day. Robin couldn't help but smile, his heart warming under her stare. He could feel the courses of admiration and sweet young love run through him.

Clasping her hands into his harder, rougher ones, he smiled kindly. "Never better. Let's open those presents before BB has a fit."

"Finally!" Beast Boy shrieked and Cyborg knocked him to the ground with one swift hit. The group chuckled in amusement.

* * *

Robin placed the gift on to the kitchen counter, the black paper dotted with brighter spots of purple glowing under the soft lights. It wouldn't be until late that night, when Star and BB were asleep on the couches with various streamers covering them, and Cyborg resting on top of the kitchen table with a plate of cake on his chest would Robin remember the present from Raven. Most of his friends had left, all at their own times, sleepy but smiling and congratulating him once more.

He, himself was groggy from the late hour but intent to know what she had deemed worthy enough to give him. Raven didn't give anything unless she thought it would be perfect for the host.

Carefully, he grabbed the gift and padded softly to his room, passing Raven's closed door in the process. He couldn't hear a sound from behind it but it was unlikely she would still be on the roof mediating. It was nearing two in the morning and the last of the guests had finally left for the evening, shouts and yawns following them. Raven would be in her room, not necessarily sleeping, but most likely reading one of her own books. She rarely slept, and when she did, it wasn't for long.

Robin entered the code into his door, stepping into the silent blackness, his room floor slightly disorganized in his haste to hurry for the party. Kicking a pair of steel toed boots aside, he sat down on his unmade bed, ripping the wrapping almost reverently from the present. He seemed sadden to mark the paper that had been evidently creased and cut with such precision for the gift.

It would be a very Raven – like thing to do when wrapping a special gift that she had deemed appropriate. Everything was precise, everything was cut to fit perfectly. It was just how she was.

Eventually he peeled enough away to look at the top of a hard covered book. It was plain, a simple color of plum with gold drippings marked along the edges of the parchment paper. The book was expensive, the care great and complicatedly endearing. It was old, the smell of dust and paper comforting to Robin; it reminded him of Bruce's study and of Raven's cape. Smiling slightly at the irony – Raven gave _him a book for his birthday_ – he flipped to the first title page. Elegant scrollwork above showed that it was a play written by William Shakespeare and below in finer script was "A Midsummer Night's Dream."

"Huh," Robin murmured, perplexed but enjoying the feeling of the sturdy book in his hands. He had a small private collection in his room, but not nearly enough time to read when he had training, a city to defend, a team to keep together and now a girlfriend to attend to. But the feel of the book was a comfort in his hands and he almost felt like beginning to read, even at the late hour.

When he had been a kid, staying with Bruce, he would stay up late just like he was, reading curled into a chair in his study. It made him smile fondly, remembering the crackling fire, the curious looks of Alfred and the knowing and sturdy presence of Bruce in the corner. Of course Raven would know this – she had been inside his mind, and he knew she purposefully gave him this object to invoke the feelings of home.

Without thought he turned it upside down and shook it. Knowing Raven, she wrote something to him. A piece of pale purple paper fell out, with small curls of soft writing catching his eyes. Raven's handwriting; soft, delicate but firm.

He sighed reading the note out loud in his small room. "Richard, Happy Birthday." Here he raised another eyebrow, curious as to why she was using his real name. He was sure she was the only one who knew it. He'd have to share that fact with Star soon, and deep down he wasn't looking forward to it. It was another secret he would have to part with; one he had freely given to Raven when they made their bond. "This book is from my personal collection. Bruce said it would fit for you. Please take care of it for me, as it is one of my favorites of Shakespeare. Raven," and Robin scratched his head in thought.

She had gone to Bruce for help in picking out a present for him?

Robin felt himself smile in pleasant fondness and rose to go to her room. He wanted to say thank you, to express his gratitude for such a carefully obtained gift from such a good friend. He had never had someone put as much thought into a present before and it struck him in the heart.

Raven was coming around. She was becoming one of them, totally. And he didn't want her going through the night, or tomorrow even, without knowing how much it made him feel that she had chosen to care for him. If she cared for one, showing it when she wanted to, she cared for all of them. And that meant her emotions were there, being felt, being lived. It meant she was ok. It meant Raven was finally being the Raven he knew she could be. He felt almost proud.

And something in him felt relieved knowing that. They didn't talk as much anymore since Tokyo and the bond was dormant. Maybe this was her way of expressing herself, working on her social manners without the need of a psychic link? It would explain a lot. It would explain her distance. It would explain her off-handed remarks, the closed expressions she sometimes gave. Robin had worried for her, but perhaps she really was doing alright, by evidence of her carefully thought out present? He couldn't wait to see what she got Cy.

The door swung open and Robin looked up into startling eyes of green.

"Robin," Star whispered, hands wringing in front of her. He saw the hesitation in her eyes but also the coy stance, the slight turn of her torso. She was out of her red dress, but in a pair of matching peach camisole and shorts with delicate white lace ruffling along the edges. His mouth dried. "May I enter?"

The book fell to the wayside, landing on the spine as Star lifted one hand to trace his jaw. She smelled like sweet pea and dark vanilla. It was captivating. Slowly she walked into his room, the hand at his jaw drifting lightly along his neck, to the front of his red t-shirt. Robin had to remember to breathe when Star leaned down just enough to brush her lips against his own.

"I do not have a present in which can be wrapped with tissue paper, Robin." She blinked unhurriedly and it made heat rise up to Robin's cheeks and neck. He was sure he looked like a tomato. "But there is something I wish to share with you."

His tongue was stuck to roof of his mouth. He had to fight the urge to laugh or cry – he wasn't quite sure which one he wanted to do at the moment. All he could concentrate on was Starfire's eyes. "Are you sure?" Was he even sure?

"I am sure. This is a moment in your world that is held in highest regard. And I want to share this with you." Her eyes became glossy and Robin couldn't help himself any longer. He crashed his lips into hers', roughly pulling her toward him. He felt her tense and had to force himself to be patient; to reign in the hungry beast that had wanted it – wanting this – for years.

Softly he kissed her, licking her lips to grant him entrance into her mouth. When she allowed him, she moaned and Robin almost fell apart. Instead, he kept his head calm, and slowly pulled back. Glancing once more for her allowance he closed the metal door, locking it with an extra security code and yanked her deeper inside his room.

That night, Robin saw stars.

* * *

The next morning, Robin awoke in his unmade bed, sheets tumbling to the floor as various pieces of clothing littered the carpeted floor below. A sleeping, redheaded woman softly cooed next to him, murmuring into his neck as the soft touch of her eyelashes fluttered on his skin. And across the way, he glanced toward the door where the fragile book Raven had given him, had been trampled in their passionate entanglement.

And it struck Robin as if he had been slapped in his early morning haze. Guilt caught him like a tidal wave and momentarily he couldn't breathe. Had he done that – had he been that uncaring, that involved in Star's arrival to at least put the book down carefully? Raven would kill him. His mind whirled, his stomach twisted… Until Star cuddled closer to his side and his mind went from the book to last night's events, and everything was forgotten as tired comforting sleep claimed him once again.

It didn't last long before the red blinking light overhead began to go off followed by a loud, annoying buzzing. Both Star and he jumped into the air, looking from each other to the red light. They had almost forgotten what it had sounded like.

Neither of them could even think to be embarrassed about their less than covered bodies, after a night of building passion that they had shared. Star quickly changed into her pajamas from the night prior, and Robin followed, throwing on a pair of jeans that had lain on his floor.

Together they entered the main control area, the other three Titans standing at attention, Raven to the side, arms crossed as Cy worked at the console and BB leaned against the back of the green sectional.

Raven's dark eyes found Robin's, scouring over his face and bare chest and then took in Star's appearance. He walked closer; feeling the guilt at the mistreatment of her gift in favor of Star's and felt the need to be near her. Something about her compelled him to move closer, to comfort her; didn't he just think maybe last night, she was doing okay? It wasn't like she looked upset or even anything at all – she looked cool, detached. There wasn't any cause for alarm – except he knew better. As he got closer, ready to put his hand on her shoulder because he just knew something was off, she turned away and walked closer to Cyborg, sitting at the console.

Her indifference rubbed him the wrong way.

"What do we have?" Robin asked, eyes trained on Raven's form, ignoring the pang her brush off had caused him. She was in her sleep outfit, a tight sleep shirt, buttoned down in the front, her soft locks just touching her shoulders in soft tangles with a pair of purple sock on her pale feet. Star walked up beside him, holding his hands tightly and securely.

He glanced to her, smiled softly and squeezed back. He tried to push away his concern for Raven, because even if he could tell something wasn't right with her, he didn't know what. And the city needed him more, than a hunch his friend was hurting.

"Not sure yet. But it's big."

"It's over the ocean," Raven replied gruffly. Robin reached out with his link to decipher her emotions at the frostiness of her tone, but only got a closed door on her end. What was her problem? Robin already felt like an ass for dropping her book – something he knew she treasured – on to the floor when Star presented herself. Why was she giving him the cold shoulder? It's not like she knew about the book. She couldn't have if she kept the link closed.

"And it's growing," Beast Boy commented, looking out the front windows. He was still wearing his clothes from the night before, his hair disoriented on his skull.

All five Titans looked out across the way – a giant grey storm was growing. But it wasn't a hurricane or an act of nature; they had sensors for that, for emergency purposes in order to vacate and help their citizens. It was growing from the sea, rising higher and higher as lightening and dark angry winds cut into the water. Robin glanced to his friends, seeing their eyes laying heavily on him. He was the leader, and it had been a long four months without any action, but they were ready.

He didn't look long at Raven, confused by her treatment and his want to comfort her and nodded once to them as a group. "Suit up Titans. We have a battle on our hands."

Though it was something dangerous, something that could hurt any of them, Beast Boy laughed, pumping his fist into the air. "Alright! About time!" And he took off as a cheetah toward his bedroom at blinding speeds. The team shook their heads collectively as they followed, not as excited as their teammate but just as ready.

Robin was hanging on to Star's hands as they flew closer to the storm, watching as the clouds, the winds, the churning seas seemed to part as they neared. He noticed that coming from the ocean was not just a simple storm, but a structure of steel, and iron that rose up from the murky depths of the bay. He glanced to his left, Beast Boy flying as an eagle, and to his right, Raven floating along, her hands glowing in dark matter.

Cyborg was below them, using their ship to get closer to the thing that dared to enter their area; it would be needed in case the fight turned deadly.

"What is that?" Star asked, voice carrying along the four teens. They all held communicators attached to their ears to keep in contact should anything happen.

Cyborg responded, drifting along the waves. "Not sure. But it's pumping out massive amounts of energy. It's doing something to the atmosphere."

"Like changing it?" Beast Boy asked, quickly morphing as Raven gripped him in her dark magic. He looked down at Cy, a small speck in the dark cloudy ocean. Raven continued to haul them closer, into the folds of the tempest.

"Exactly. Its spring, it should be getting warmer. But it's changing the tides, changing the cloud patterns. It's like it's giving us a global freeze instead of a warmth."

"Why would someone want to do this to the city?" Star asked, flinging Robin to land on the perch of the giant structure's wide and heavy metal fence. He was crouched into a defensive position, bo staff in front of him at the ready.

"In order to control it," Raven replied, letting Beast Boy drop beside their leader.

"It's the only answer I can think of," Cy agreed, sounds of metal gears whirling behind him. "If someone controls the weather, they control the people that depend on it. It's genius."

"And costly. Cy-" Robin began but Cyborg cut him off quickly.

"Diving below to scout it out for a possible weakness or power source. On it."

Beast Boy snorted as he and Rae began to take the left. The automatically paired up, knowing well that the two lovers would want to be together. Raven floated into the air as Beast Boy shifted into a lion. They shared a silent communication, a look of understanding – one that Robin hadn't noticed until now that they could do – and began to move to the metal doors leading down below.

"Wait," Robin called out. The Titans looked at him and he gestured to Star. "Star go with BB, Raven with me. We'll take the lower decks and these two will take the sky and the top sea levels. I'll need you to help Cy look for a weakness. Rae and I will look for the person behind this."

Raven halted and caught eyes with Star; she gave a friendly, reassuring smile but Raven didn't return it. It was almost like she was asking permission – Robin briefly wondered about the exchange but held back from saying anything.

BB ran over to Star at his leader's order. He made a quip that had Star laughing as they both soared into the air, high above, the rain clouds and massive lightening overhead hiding their figures from sight. It left Robin and Raven alone, standing in the gale, drenched.

He smiled at her, but Raven turned on her heel, leading the way to a metal door, keeping her eyes from his covered ones. Using her powers, she yanked it from the hinges and tossed it into the ocean with a bit more force than normal. There was a deafening splash as it connected with the waves below.

Robin stepped ahead, and turned his flashlight on, as Raven held up her hands, an orb of her glowing magic floating between her lean palms; it illuminated the entire stairwell. Glancing around they saw the metal walls, and the grated stairs that went down into pitch dark blackness. The only choice for them was to go deeper into the folds, and away from their teammates help.

Robin had known this was the case. He also knew, he and Raven were the best equipped to fight in such tight, small corridors. Starfire's bolts would only bounce on the metal, or bring it down on them. Beast boy wouldn't be able to shift into anything worthy to help the battle, anything that could do serious damage that would also damage the corridor, and possibly injure them in the process. Raven's magic was controllable and she could wield it better in the space and he was flexible enough to fight easily down there. He had chosen well.

He also wouldn't admit too loudly, but he wanted Raven with him. Just to keep an eye on her. He didn't think BB could do as well as a job as he could. But he didn't let the thought stay long.

"So," he began lamely, peering over the edge of the railing.

Raven stopped walking beside him, coming to the top of the stairs. She glared, but it didn't hold any malice, just annoyance and a bit of ire. Her leotard and cape were soaked and her hair hung in tangled heaps, plastered against her ashen face. She looked battle weary but alert. "What?"

"Nothing," he said quickly. Too quickly. Raven narrowed her eyes but didn't say anything, taking the lead to head into the darkened stairs.

They went down three flights before they heard Cyborg break over the line. "Guys," he said to no in particular. "You won't believe what's powering this. Or who."

"Report, Cyborg." Robin demanded, keeping eyes on Raven as she stopped to listen. "What's going on?"

"It's Aqualad!" They heard BB scream. "He's trapped underneath! They're using his powers to control and power the machine. He's in bad shape guys!"

"I will free him!" Star shouted. They could hear the humming of her powers.

"Wait!" Robin shouted, just as the lights in the stairwell switched on. His eyes were blinded and he heard a muttered curse from Raven. Then the clapping of metal feet. "Hold back. Regroup. We don't know what damage it will do to Aqualad if we pull him out without a plan."

"Good idea Robin."

Raven growled low in her throat as Robin looked to see her, body hunched, hands clenched into fists at her side. Slade bots, newer models, with bigger bodies and larger weapons surrounded them. Slade stood before them, mask replaced with a red cloth; one eye staring at them. "Slade," he muttered and he heard a collective gasp from the teammates not with him.

"We should've known someone that wanted to control people with the weather would only be someone like you." Raven said darkly. "An egotistical maniac. You should've stayed dead."

"You give me too much credit, Raven." He cooed, lifting her face by her sharp chin to look at her. "My, you've certainly grown up. No longer Daddy's little girl, all woman underneath that dark look and sultry voice." He stepped closer and Robin felt something hot wedge itself in his gut. Something entirely protective and angry wanted to lash out at the man for even thinking to touch Raven. "Tell me, are you as innocent as I remember Daddy Dearest thinking you were?"

Her eyes widened just slightly before she reacted; too quickly for Robin to do it himself, but her hands thrust in front of her, gripping the man into a pure black mass of energy, shoving him against the far metal wall. Her eyes were two pools of white, glowing with terrifying power that rippled in the small area.

Robin was half tempted to let her finish him off – once and for all. But his hand fell on to her shoulder, and he held her in a firm grasp. This power was strong and terrifying; and wholly new even to Robin. Was this what she had been dealing with lately? Was Raven experiencing a growth spurt much like Star had years ago? "Raven, let him go."

She growled and muttered a heavy curse in the small area. Slade chuckled as she dropped him to the ground, the Slade bots peering at them, but unmoving. "It seems she is much more controllable now, Robin. After your visit into Hell, it seems there was a bonding that I wasn't quite privileged to witness. You're grown much closer." He leaned forward, into Raven's space as Robin pushed to get in between them.

Raven could handle herself, especially with Slade. But Robin still felt the need to protect her. Even now. "I always wondered why you entered into Hell to retrieve the half breed daughter of the Devil."

"What do you want Slade?" Robin asked instead, gripping his bo staff until his knuckles were white under his gloves.

He smirked under the red cloth, and shrugged. "I needed to make an entrance. The underworld has been weak since my departure just a little over a year ago. I needed to… remind them of who I was. Of what we could do. Even with the Titans around."

"By disrupting weather patterns." Raven shook her head, eying the bots with barely contained disdain. "How the mighty have fallen."

"That and I wanted to see how my old friends were fairing," he shot Robin a look, but kept his eyes on the empath. "After Daddy's fall, and the world returned to normal, I was lost without you two, to keep me company. How are you dear?" He lifted her chin again and she yanked away. "No longer controlled by darkness, living in the light? You could be so much more."

"Enough –" Robin interrupted, pushing against Slade. "You either come peacefully, or we'll take you in by force. The easy way or the hard way. You're still a wanted criminal."

"Please say you want the hard way," Raven mumbled. Her hands glowed in dark magic, her ire swirling around her.

Slade froze, and then stood straighter. He was barely intimidated by the young woman, even knowing what she could do. "Give it your best shot."

Then the stairwell exploded into darkness, with only the sound of crushing metal bodies attacking them.

It was like fighting in a blanket; everywhere Robin turned, there was a bot there, with bigger hands, harder steel toed boots, pummeling into his young agile body. He felt his ribs break, his head knocked against the wall, and in the thick of it, was Slade, watching like a male lion, waiting for his females to bring back the prize.

Robin lashed out as best he could, knocking most of the bots away. He was able to throw out a lightening disk, getting the area lit up and shock a few bots nearby when he heard it – a guttural scream echoing over the chorus of the battle.

He turned to his left just as Raven was gripped around the neck by Slade; his powerful hands so much larger than her pale, delicate limb and tossed her into the far wall. "You could be so much more! I've seen it with my own eyes. You could be everything – everything everyone fears. And yet you remain this – a Titan, pinning over nothing."

"Raven!" Robin shouted, just as the structure began to shake, Raven falling against the wall. Red dripped from her stomach and chin; she had a few hits from the battle that tore at her flesh. He tried coming closer, but the building moved, tilted, and the wall Raven had been leaning against, broke open into crumbing bits.

The remaining bots were tossed into the opposite wall, landing into metal heaps of distorted or broken pieces. Robin himself was shoved into the middle of them, Slade thrown against the stair railing with a loud gush of breath leaving his lungs. Good, he hoped it hurt. Then Robin watched as Raven fell into the ocean below. "No!"

He rushed to the side, watching as her small body fell into the angry waves, consumed by the fury of them. Torn between jumping and calling for help from his friends below, Robin caught an amazing sight; Aqualad soared from below him, a whirlwind of water holding him upright.

His inky black eyes were wide, his jaw was bruised, crusted in blood but set. Had it only been a few short hours ago that he had laughed at his party, had given him new tools to make underwater gear for his twenty first birthday? His friend was battered and bloody, but the seas responded to him, knelt to his command; he was terrifying and dominating.

"How dare you take me prisoner, to hurt those we sworn to protect," he said, voice echoing even as the winds increased and the storm howled on. Slade rose, and Robin heard his friends break out over the line.

"Robin, we're under attack down here. We freed Aqualad to help you deal with Slade, but we could use some help-" the transmission went static. Was that Cy?

Robin glanced from the criminal to his Titans East friend and nodded. His team needed him, and he knew Aqualad could handle Slade. The power that spun around them was awesome and breathtaking – Aqualad was finally realizing his powers, much like Star had. He would be able to hold Slade off until the rest of the Titans came together.

He jumped into the waves below, grabbing a quick underwater breather in his utility belt, and dove down deep below. He knew he had to watch out for Raven – how long had she been under and not break the surface? - and as the thought hit him, he saw the T-ship smoking, Star fending off dozens of bots and Beast Boy ripping the metal lines sparkling in energy off the building that had housed Aqualad.

"Do you have Raven?" Robin communicated.

The T-ship began to raise, sparks coming out as his two friends began to beat off the drones. "She's in here with me. We're in bad shape," Cy panted, gears and emergency noises erupting over the line. "She's unconscious. I'm almost out of energy. The ship is taking on water. We need to get out of here."

"Take the ship and head out," Robin commanded, throwing himself into the battle. He and Star began to fight as a team, defend and dodging with backs to each other as the laser hits from Slade's cronies pierced the ocean. Beast Boy shifted into a large whale and pushed the ship higher, faster, out of the water. "Head to the tower and start to repair yourself and get Raven to the med lab. We'll be right behind you."

Cyborg made an affirmative noise as they head off, flying into the air toward Titan's tower. He, with his two remaining teammates continued to fight, when the bots stopped coming. The last remaining ones, Star ripped into halves and Beast Boy crushed with his massive weight.

"What's happening?" She asked, throwing aside the metal pieces. "Why have they stopped their attack?"

"I don't have a good feeling about this," BB said, shifting back into his form. He swam quickly toward the surface, Robin and Starfire behind him.

As they broke the top, they watched as Slade held a tired and drained Aqualad by the throat, dangling over the edge into the ocean. The metal structure was falling apart, the energy it had been using to disrupt the atmosphere was broken by BB underwater, and it was breaking up. The seas were claiming it, taking it away into the deep navy waves underneath as a final act against the one who had tried to hurt a child of Atlantis. Raven had always said the people of Atlantis had a strong bond with the Ocean and the spirits of water; they looked to be fighting on Aqualad's side.

"Aqualad!" Beast Boy yelled, watching their friend struggle in the tight grasp. Slade shook him silently.

Their fellow Titan didn't respond. The structure groaned and wailed as the screws and nails that had held it together gave way under the pressure of the ocean. There was a sudden silence, the calm of impending destruction and then without warning, the whole arrangement gave way. It crumpled on top itself, both bodies falling back into the gaping hole on the iron wall, and plummeted into the murky depths with a loud roar of protest.

It was only luck Star thought quickly, grabbing Robin and BB and flew into the air; BB gapping down at the carnage. From the sky, they watched the white foam rise up and cover the building, watched as it descended and watched as not only a criminal escaped, but their friend perish along with it.

It had happened so quickly, so resolutely that the trio barely had time to blink before it was gone. Before there friend was gone.

"Is he…"

"He's not…" His friends asked, breathless. Robin hung from Star's side, body soaked and hair plastered to his skull. His eyes saw everything but his heart was in his throat.

They had just lost a friend. A close friend. And it was his fault for not reacting sooner.

His eyes burned and his throat was closing in on itself. Aqualad was gone. And because Slade had wanted to make a statement, to show them he wasn't gone, that he would always keep coming back. He had wanted something this time – it wasn't Robin, but he had a suspicion it was the dark empath that had accompanied him into the stairwell. He was fascinated by her now, and that alone made his stomach sour and bile rise up like the waves below them.

Thinking of Raven, his heart turned to panic. Aqualad was gone and his two other teammates were in trouble. They needed him. They needed all of them. "We need to get back," Robin finally said, hovering in the air. Star's grip was a distant comfort, but the cold in his veins wouldn't recede as he prayed – begged – Aqualad would pull up from below, and wave at them.

"Rob man," Beast Boy tried to say but his words faltered, also hanging along Star. They were lucky she was incredibly strong to support them both. Neither of them had the strength to think of hovering in the air. "We have to search for him."

He nodded, voice cracking. "We will. But we have two teammates seriously injured that need our attention. Once we know they're alright, we'll come out to search." His covered eyes locked on to BB' green ones. "I promise."

Together, Star flew them back to the tower, Beast Boy silent and sullen.

* * *

When they arrived back at the Tower, Star almost fainted from exhaustion; but BB held her upright as Robin jogged down to the med lab. He was greeted with a less than pleasant sight.

Raven was hovering over the medical table, a faint grey sparkling shield surrounding her as she healed, and Cyborg hooked up three machines, various images on the display behind him; one of his vitals, and others of his energy levels, which was a blaring red mark on the screen. His shoulder was hardly holding his cybernetic arm together by a few bare wires, sparks were flying around his cut circuits, and his other arm was bleeding on to the floor. His face was ashen and there was a bruise appearing along his temple. Robin didn't want to know what had happened while he was in the ship.

Quickly, Robin set to bandaging his friend, and began to input a few codes in the med lab. Overhead, long machines with hard grasps began to stitch Cy together. Robin waited on baited breath, watching the two arms fuse together, bright lights flashing into the darkened room. "Is it working?"

They had never had to rely on the machines to repair Cyborg before. He had never been put into such a situation. It was only a thought they had one night almost a year ago, to have another fully able component put their friend back together. Now, he hoped they had been right when creating the machine and programs in which to do it.

Cy nodded, face pale in the dim light. "It's working. But it's going to take some time." He gestured to Raven. "Go look her over. As soon as I got her in here, she started to go into a healing trance. But I'm not sure if it's working the way it should."

"Why's that?" The leader asked, turning to his friend. Her chest was eyelevel with him, barely rising with breath.

"Without her father's influence tainting her powers, there isn't someone watching out for her, to make sure she stays alive long enough to see the day of her birthday, and therefore portal status. This is all on Raven now. And I'm not exactly sure she can do it."

Robin gulped, hearing his two other friends coming down the hall. "What should I do?"

"Stay with her. Reach her through the link," he winced as a laser cut into a wire connecting to his nervous system. "If anyone can bring her back, it's you Rob. Just be with her." Cyborg refused to say why he would be the one to reach her. He had sworn to Raven he would hold her secret to the grave; and he wouldn't tell Robin any time soon because of his promise to the dark girl floating above the table.

For two straight days after the incident in the bay, Robin stayed by Raven's side.

* * *

Robin never left Raven's side, using everything in his power to pull her through the link. It never worked. Whatever Raven had done to the link, she alone could only undo. He wasn't able to feel her presence, hear her words, or sense her emotions. But he tried anyway.

He sent Beast Boy and Starfire out to search for Aqualad shortly after they returned to the tower. They spent the better part of the afternoon and late into the night searching for their fallen friend. By midnight, Starfire called off the search and had to drag an angry and mildly possessed Beast Boy from the scene, crying and sobbing; they had never lost a friend during a battle like that; with them unable to do anything to help. The feeling of uselessness was overwhelming.

Robin didn't want to think of how BB was handling it, considering he was still grieving over Terra. Robin's heart went out to his younger friend. His heart went out to all the Titans.

Two days later, Raven landed on to the soft medical bed that Cyborg had placed under her, and she opened her tired and weary eyes. Robin, who hadn't left, was still dressed in his uniform, his unmasked eyes staring at her in a mix of relief and astonishment.

"You stayed." She said quietly. Almost too quiet. Robin had to lean down to hear her.

"Of course I did." He gripped her hands in his ungloved ones. Her fingers were cold, numb in his warm palms. "I was hoping I could be a beacon to help you get back to us."

Her deep violet eyes narrowed in concentration and then looked out the door. He glanced, and saw Star leaning there, her brilliant lime eyes watering, arms crossed over her chest. She looked ready to tackle Raven into a large hug where she laid. "You did. But I would've found my way eventually."

She pulled from him and turned on to her side, presenting her back to him. "Send Cyborg in when you have a moment. I'm feeling better but I know he'd like to double check."

"Raven," he began but she shook her head silently. The link was still dead between them.

"I've suffer from extensive injuries. He should come to make sure I've repaired myself fully. Thank you."

Feeling oddly dejected, and cold inside, he stood up, face puzzled. "Whatever you need." He left with Starfire on his arm and moments later, Cy entered the room, hand falling on to his makeshift sister's shoulder.

"Robin seems upset."

Glancing up at him, she shrugged. "There is no reason for him to stay now that I'm awake."

"And no reason for him to be around you, that might hurt you too. Don't think I don't notice the distance between you two. It's as obvious as BB being green."

She glared slightly in annoyance at her friend. He pretended not to notice and dropped the subject. "Come on, sit up. You had a serious gash across your stomach that I need to make sure is completely healed. And then your head." Giving in without argument, Raven did as her friend instructed.

It was that night, after Raven awoke, when the entire two Titans' teams were together on Titans' Island, feet sinking into the waves of the bay. Bee stood beside Robin, facing the darkened water, the rest of the Titans surrounding them. Her brown eyes were dark, angry with unshed tears. Her feelings of sadness, pity and grief were suffocating.

Raven leaned against Beast Boy for support as her strength still hadn't returned, and Star flew above them, lighting the area with her starbolts. Speedy stood behind everyone, cast into a shadow, his copper locks glaring under the alien princess' light.

The two leaders had brought the entire division together, to honor Aqualad who had died only a few short days ago. No words were said, only a wealth of colors – all representing the Titans surrounding Aqualad's picture, was thrown into the crash waves. Star threw a bolt into the center of it, like a makeshift candle, and together they watched the wealth drift out into the dark sea. The only sound was the breaking of waves; and a few sniffling noses.

"He was a good guy. My best friend," Speedy said slowly, hands in his pockets. They weren't dressed in uniforms, or in masks; together, they mourned a friend. "A bit on the touchy, sensitive side. But a good guy." Mos and Menas chattered next to him in Spanish, seeming to agree.

"Speedy," Bumble Bee sighed, smiling sadly. She didn't have the heart to truly reprimand him. This was Speedy's way of grieving.

The archer shrugged. "It's true."

"We had a plaque made," Beast boy whispered, clearing his throat. His arm was resting soundly along Raven's small waist, her black shirt and dark jeans blending into the shadows around them. Robin didn't think they just quite match together. "Just like we did with T-" he stopped short and the oddest thing happened. Raven wrapped her arm around her friend's neck and patted his opposite shoulder.

It was awkward, but it was friendly and comforting to the young man. "We were going to place it right where we're standing."

Bee nodded, arms crossed over her chest, tight yellow shirt bright against her leather pants. "I think that's a nice gesture. He'd like it."

"As long as it didn't hurt any fish in the process." Cyborg snorted at Speedy's joke and it seemed to lighten the mood. All of them began to smile fondly, as they remembered their fallen comrade. Carefully, Cy picked up the large white marble stone – with Star's help because even he wasn't fully recovered – and placed it between Robin and Bumble Bee.

In the center was a copper plaque on the massive cube, decorated in fine script and heavy ivy etched into the border. It read simply: "To our comrade, who fell while protecting innocents. A great man, a worthy son of the seas, a steadfast friend and a valiant hero."

They stayed on the site for quite some time, and together the Titans watched the sunrise over the ocean.

* * *

**AN:** Long one! Told you, each one-shot is a story of their pasts. This one, we lost a dear friend, but realized Slade's not dead. And Robin's thinking his sights have moved from Robin to Raven… interesting?

What did we think? I think it's decently long, with enough details; but I didn't want to make it too drawn out. I wanted to tell the story, even if it was a bit of a filler chapter. It sets up the remaining pieces with everything that happens in here.

Another side note, please don't think Robin and Star sleeping together is just that. There's more involved that will be explored. And don't think Rob is being an ass for taking it as a present – Star is naïve and presented it that way. There are emotions attached and I'll discuss that in the next few installments since I need to for the story to pan out. Just have faith that everything has a reason.

_In case anyone is wondering the first chapter happens only a short month after Trigon's appearance. So the final battles with the Brotherhood, haven't happened yet. I never put a mark on that, in the first chapter. Just so everyone knows the timeline._

**Next chapter:** With the death of Garth still fresh in his mind, Speedy starts to lose his grip on the world around him. He and Green Arrow lose their bond; he takes a case to infiltrate a ring of drug dealers in Steel City – and he succumbs to the allure of heroin. Raven, knowing full well the self hatred and dark path he is on, takes to healing Speedy, and their bond grows. Robin doesn't like how Raven begins to rely on the archer and not him.


	4. A Deep Dark Path

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one.

**AN:** Thank you for the positive reviews! Hopefully this chapter (one-shot) gives a bit more closure/ happiness to Raven (as I know most people want…) as well as more depth to the other situations cropping up around the corner that people have been inquiring about; trust me, there's reason for everything. And all will be explained. Enjoy!

**Chapter 4**

**A Deep, Dark Path**

_(Take three months after Aqualad's death, seven months since Tokyo, and almost two years since Trigon and Brother Blood battles)._

* * *

The tower looked dead, Raven noted. The grand common room was dark, the TV was silent, the dishes were still in the sink but the counters were cleaned from crumbs and debris. One light over the stove was on as if preparing for the night time shadows and to be a beacon to the team as they returned home.

It had been like that for the past few weeks.

Carefully stepping into the room, letting her cape sweep along her calves, Raven moved to the wide windows in front of the tower. The sun was setting before her, the brilliant ruby rays casting a blazing fire along the sands surrounding the tower. Without thought her eyes drifted to the bronze plaque, being a washed in the foamy waves. Her mind unconsciously turned to Aqualad and the night of Robin's birthday party as it was still fresh in her mind's eye.

Her heart throbbed in pain. She had lost people before. Raven was used to losing people. But her friends seemed untouchable; as if they would always be there, as if the trouble, the darkness surrounding their lives would never touch them. Aqualad, a fellow individual not strictly of Earth, much like Raven, was a close friend. She learned much from him, and his world, and him of hers'. Even now, remembering their exchanges was painful to the young woman and it made her left eye tear in sadness.

Abruptly, she wiped it away. Raven didn't cry. Though her emotions still took control of her, more so than she would ever like or admit to her friends, she would not cry. Crying would not bring her friend back, and it would be pointless to shed tears now.

It had been a long three months since he had perished. They hadn't heard from his family; Raven knew from experience and knowledge, Garth's father would not be contacting them concerning his death. They kept to themselves; and without a body to provide the Atlantis citizens, Raven was sure contact would be limited. They would grieve in their ways and spurn the help of those of the surface world.

Raven sighed, crossing her arms, the dying sun a reminder of the Titans West. Her thoughts drifted to Aqualad's teammates. Reports had been coming in with a hard passion to the Titans East of their friend's encounters. Robin kept them briefed every morning; it seemed the only way Bumble Bee could heal was by taking it out on the criminals in their city. And they were dwindling in a fast decent as Bee pummeled them into the jails. Her anger, her pity, her sadness was seen every morning as one criminal after dangerous criminal was brought down with a sheer ruthlessness barely contained. Raven knew, she would exhaust herself soon – she would exhaust her team soon. But, much like Cyborg and Robin, Bumble Bee carried the weight of his death on her shoulders and could only rely on her anger of the underworld in which to release it. Raven was patiently waiting for the day that Bee would run out of anger and collapse; she knew it wouldn't be long before their field leader cracked.

When that day came, then the team would begin to heal correctly. Until then, much like her team surrounding her, they would have to just wait.

Raven moved to the next window, turning her back to the plaque below. Since Aqualad's passing, the two teams had barely spoken to each other. Raven didn't blame them; she knew there were hard feelings between the teams after the small ceremony on the island. Including much blame.

Beast Boy had gone into a dark hole that Raven wasn't sure he should be in. She understood grief, she understood despair and pain and hurt and sadness; but she also understood that, that wasn't Beast Boy. He was light, laughter, and childish annoyance. He was childhood innocence, and hard loyalty. He wasn't anything harmful. Even when he lost control of himself, when his own body and abilities had worked against him, Beast Boy still cared and still protected her from harm. His good out shone the dark. He always would; that was what Raven admired about her younger friend.

The pain that rolled around in his aura now, that caused Raven's head to ache whenever around him, was not for him. He couldn't handle that. And she didn't want her friend going through that. She knew he couldn't go through that and still contain his essence. It would consume him, it would drag him under and the Beast Boy she knew would not be there any longer. Much like Bee, Raven feared and waited for her friend to finally realize what was happening; she was waiting for the climax of his pain, ready to offer healing, like she always did for the team.

His attitude hadn't improved since Garth's death. He wholeheartedly blamed Robin for Aqualad's death. He said if they had only acted sooner, if Robin hadn't left to let him defend against Slade alone, Aqualad would still be alive. In Beast Boy's eyes, Robin was the tool of his friend's death and that pain festered beneath the skin, waiting for the most unfortunate moments to explode. Much like that morning during breakfast.

Raven shifted her weight, listening to the dying calls of the seagulls behind her. She could understand Beast Boy's logic; she still didn't understand why Robin had left their friend to the hands of Slade, after being drained and beaten into submission. They understood Garth had gone through an increase in power prior to fighting Slade, but he was weak. He was beaten, bloody and tired. Robin, calculating, observant Robin, should have known that and fought with him, instead of leaving him.

But there was no use in trying to understand the events. What had happened had passed. Robin had defended his actions to Beast Boy at every turn. He had thrown every excuse at him and it still never appeased Beast Boy. He was unruly and disrespectful to their leader and increasingly spiteful. As it were now, not one criminal had sprung up after Slade's brief stunt, and it left Beast Boy on the streets, fighting his inner demons without the help of criminals to take his anger out on.

Silently, Raven wondered if the criminals were afraid of their team now; after losing a friend, taking down Slade in one night, and the reports of the Titans West's powerful hits to their organization. It wouldn't surprise her.

Moving to the kitchen, Raven began to prepare hot water for a soothing cup of tea that would help ease her nerves. Since the battle, Raven's body still hadn't fully healed the way it should have. Her back was stiff, and Cyborg said it was from laying on it for so long; Raven argued that her healing trance should have taken care of that. Her stomach was still bruised and the stitches were long, ragged and black. She had to keep them in because her stomach was taking longer to heal. Much longer.

She hadn't told Robin or the others (minus Cyborg) still of her injuries. She didn't want him keeping her from a battle should it arrive. She also didn't want questions. She didn't understand why her body wasn't healing the way it should have. Cyborg alluded to Trigon's presence no longer in her, and on some level Raven agreed, and on the other, it scared her. She wasn't as tough as she often thought she was. It made her nervous and cautious as to what the future would now hold.

Would she still be able to heal the same number of injuries? How long would her body hurt after a fight now? She used to be sore for only a few hours, but would she now take long to repair herself, like a merely full blooded human? Near death attempts would not seem so mundane, but terrifying. Raven wasn't looking forward to the new set of challenges facing her now.

The kettle began to whistle and without thought Raven began to make her beverage. She wasn't the only one going through changes. Beast Boy was angry, and she was still healing. And Cyborg was still repairing.

The machine he and Robin had invented had greatly helped put him together; enough for Cyborg to do the rest on what was repaired. But the determination that now was set in his eyes was not like him; he laid the blame of Aqualad's loss on his shoulders. Cyborg was half machine, he relied on that side to be better, to do more, to be faster, to go above what humans could do. If he couldn't save a friend, what was the point in his half machine parts?

In the last three months, Raven only saw him for the ten minute morning meetings, before he locked himself in his lab to invent and research, and fix, and advance his machines. Every morning, his blue parts were slowly turning silver with his upgrades. His wires were sleek, his frame sturdier, taller. But his human side was withering from the stress and the lack of nutrition; his human eye drooped, wrinkles were appearing in his forehead. It wouldn't be long before he would simply pass out from exhaustion. Though he was half machine, he was still human. And that side needed energy and rest.

Raven glanced to the fridge and nodded, mind decided; she would bring him dinner and break down his door if he decided on not letting her in. Her powers were changing in frightening ways, she would do it if needed, consequences be damned.

The only two that seemed to be moving past the tragedy were Robin and Starfire. In some ways it made Raven envious, but for the most part it made her relieved. They were taking care of each other, and though Raven felt jealous, she knew it was needed. Both needed each other in order to heal.

She just refused to admit, that she knew that on the night of Robin's birthday, she had felt Starfire's gift through their link. And it still twisted her stomach. It made the reality of her emotions of her leader that much more real, and that much more needed to be locked away.

Carefully and quietly, Raven prepared a tray and headed out into the darkened hallway.

* * *

The next morning began as it always did.

Robin was the first in the common room; his back was to the door as he gazed out into the bay. As Raven entered, her dark jeans and black tank top tight but comfortable to her body reflected the rising sun, and she knew he was looking at the plaque lying in the sand. She could feel his grief, his guilt even across the room as it lapped at her mental shields. Silently, she sighed and willed her walls to remain intact that much more adamantly.

She crossed to the kitchen, tea already steaming on the counter. Every morning, since Aqualad's death, it had sat there for her. She hadn't questioned the leader, but she accepted it without voicing her gratitude. It seemed as if he already knew.

She leaned against the counter and the metal door opened as Beast Boy entered.

He dragged himself into the room, green hair long and in disarray all over his skull. His sleep pants were crumpled and his orange shirt was wrinkled from his tossing and turning; Raven sensed it all night long. The young man barely slept anymore, his mind working on possible thoughts and plans.

The shape shifter plunked himself on to the barstool in front of the empathy. He gave her a weak but genuine smile; the only one she ever saw on his face and suddenly Raven felt privileged. He was carrying the loss of their friend in his heart, and he still managed to smile for her. Tentatively, she smirked back, a twist of her lips, and she saw him sit straighter, lighter than he had in a long time.

They didn't need words, but Raven's smile said it all. He wasn't alone in this.

Carefully, she pushed the box of cereal over to him and he began to dig into the bag, crumbs covering his lap. Good naturally, she rolled her eyes.

She felt their leader turn and stare at them but neither of the Titans turned to acknowledge him; Beast Boy and he weren't exactly on great terms, and Raven was still confused by his recent behavior. She'd rather study the man in front of her devour processed food than look at her unmasked leader.

Next entered was Star like every morning; her flaming red locks were long, polished and smooth. Her pale pink t-shirt was low cut and high on her flat stomach. Her faded jeans were stylish and fit her model body like a glove. Raven didn't have to look at Robin to see his adoring face; the boy was head over heels for their Princess.

"Good morning teammates," Star said quietly, her face serene and happy. She was the only one that had managed to smile after Aqualad's death.

Raven had to remind herself; Star was kind, naïve at times and happy, but she knew death. She knew bloodshed. She knew sacrifice. Her people were warriors and she herself was one; the way her people dealt with death was much different than earth. People, heroes were mourned for their loss, Star's people, embraced their death for the sacrifice that it was. Star knew death and knew happiness would come after it for without his sacrifice, things could've ended much worse. Sometimes, Raven had to remind herself, that Starfire knew wisdom better than most people. It was why Raven respected the alien.

Beast Boy snorted and glanced to Raven, keeping quiet. They shared a secretive smile as Starfire hugged her boyfriend, and he wrapped his pale arms around her sun kissed waist. The sight made Raven wince and look away, even as her face remained impassive.

The last to arrive was Cyborg, his body shifting every time she saw him. It was small developed, his blue circuits becoming silver or white. Tubes were gone, under the skin. But the bags under his eyes were hard to miss and Raven felt a pang of sympathy for her best friend.

He stopped short, seeing the couple embracing, and turned to look directly at Raven. His scrutiny was heartfelt and a bit sympatric to her; he knew of her feelings. And though Raven still felt to a lesser degree for the masked man, her emotions were becoming less prominent. She was dealing with everything, she was handling everything in stride.

She still appreciated the look and understanding though.

The half machine cleared his throat loudly, earning sheepish looks from both of the heroes, and Cyborg eyed them warily before moving to stand beside Raven as she cradled her tea to her chest. His presence was enough to keep Raven from letting any of the negative emotions get to her. Thankfully she was learning control again, and the switch that had set her off months ago, was no longer viable.

Small miracles.

"Great, we're all here." Robin began. His unmasked eyes, bright blue in the early morning light, took in each member in turn. They lay on Star longer than necessary. "I thought I'd update everyone on Titans West and their new case today."

"Another case?" Cy asked quietly, his voice still a rumble from sleep. "They just took on and finished three. This week alone."

"Bumble Bee is leading her team well. They are being quite efficient." Star remarked, crossing her arms lightly against her stomach. Raven adjusted, cupping her tea closer, feeling a bit self-conscious of her own body compared to Star's; she had a small belly whereas Star did not. She was curvy, whereas Star was long and lean. She shook herself; now wasn't the time to let herself feel.

"They're grieving," Raven replied, tone dark and gruff. "They're taking their pain out on the criminals. This is their way of healing."

"Sounds productive," Beast Boy said, head bent as he wiped debris from his shirt.

Raven glared lightly. "It's dangerous."

"Raven's right," Robin agreed calmly. He didn't look at her but at Beast Boy. "Letting emotions rule you to fight crime leads to revenge. It leads to vigilantes. That's not what we do."

The team remained silent as he handed out packets of paper. Raven mentally floated hers' in front of her, unwilling to release the warmth of the tea just yet. Cyborg snorted softly next to her and Beast Boy smiled at the sight, ignoring Robin's forewarning.

"In any case, they are still our sister team, and we should support them when needed. Speedy has taken on a new case, going undercover in the city to find out the kingpin pushing drugs into the city, at the Mayor's request. He's been under for a few days now. We have progress notes."

The group glanced to the paper without reading it.

"Will Speedy be alright?" Star asked, lime eyes locking on Robin's blue orbs. "I worry for his safety. Drug rings are most unpleasant."

"We're all worried," Cyborg added.

Robin nodded, arms crossed over his broad chest. The dark t-shirt did nothing to hide how grown up Robin had become, seemingly overnight. "I trust Speedy. If anyone can bring down a drug ring, and find the leader to arrest, it's him."

* * *

One week later, they were gathered into the kitchen once more, all standing or sitting in their respective spots. Raven's tea was a different flavor, but still hot and cupped to her chest. Beast Boy was eating a different cereal, and Cyborg was drinking black coffee. Star hovered in the air, with a bottle of mustard in her hand. Robin stood in front of them, in a different shirt, a bright bold red.

"More progress notes from Speedy. He thinks they're finally starting to trust him. He's been promoted to their leader's right hand man."

"What did he do to get that spot?" Cyborg asked, grimly. Raven felt her heart drop as Robin rubbed the back of his neck tiredly.

"Shot a cop during a raid. The cop is going to make it, but there was a moment they thought he wouldn't. He's paralyzed from the waist down. After that, it proved his loyalty to the leader."

Sullenly, Beast Boy stood, leaving his box of cereal on the counter. Everyone felt the same as he did; it was crossing a line, but it had to happen. It was a necessary evil. One that couldn't be avoided.

"I wonder how Speedy is coping with this?" Star questioned thoughtfully. No one answered her.

* * *

A week and a half later, they gathered once more in the kitchen. This time, Robin didn't pass out papers or look calm. He looked a bit frazzled and conflicted.

He ran a hand through his dark locks, the spikes moving and falling into his eyes by force. The group watched, waited as the leader struggled with something.

"Robin, what's wrong?" Raven inquired, placing her tea on to the counter with a dull thump. Robin's blue orbs caught hers' and instantly her throat closed up. "Something happened to Speedy."

It wasn't a premonition; it was a feeling deep in her belly, a knowing sense. Raven knew something had happened, something too large for anyone to comprehend.

"We've lost contact with Speedy," he replied, voice hoarse. "Bumble Bee is worried, the team isn't fairing well without him. They're slowly cracking. And they can't interfere, everyone knows their faces. It could risk everything they've done and not to mention, risk Speedy's life."

"They need one of us to go undercover and find him." Starfire said, filling in her boyfriend's missing words. "We are not that well known over in Steel City. We can find him."

"It's dangerous," Robin said stiffly. "But we have to find him. He might have gotten into the ring too deeply to continue detailing his findings. If that's the case, he may need help and can't get it. We have to go undercover."

Beast Boy raised his hand, comically though no one laughed. "Who then?"

"I will." Raven volunteered, facing her teammates. Her bare feet were pale in the dim sunlight, and her purple locks sleek barely brushed her shoulders she looked at everyone in turn. She looked small, but defiant. "I can locate him with my powers. I'll be able to get him out of there."

Cyborg rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "She does have the street kid look." Raven rolled her eyes but he continued anyway. "As long as we have someone go with her, on the outside to pull everyone out in case of trouble, I think it's the best choice."

"My thoughts exactly," Robin nodded. Beast Boy couldn't exactly blend in, and neither could Star. "And I'll be her outside contact. Bee already sent me all the information and where he was last spotted. It's a week old, but who knows, we may get lucky. We leave in a few hours; we don't have time to waste. We'll get him out of there."

* * *

That night, Raven stood on the porch of a decrepit home, the shutters falling off the hinges, windows broken and glass covering the rotten wooden beams. Her black hoodie was one size too small, her jeans were a little too low on her hips, and her eyes were rimmed in black liner. Carefully keeping her mind blank, she was able to give the illusion of needle marks on her arms; they looked it, but if anyone felt her arms, they would be smooth to the touch.

And in her ear, was a small device connecting her to Robin, who stood on the roof, across the street hidden in the shadows from passersby.

Slowly, Raven knocked on the door and held her breath.

It swung open, a lanky, too skinny of a kid standing on the other side. At his waist was a hand gun, and his white t-shirt was stained. With what, Raven didn't want to know. "Yeah?"

"Yo," she shifted, making it appear as if she couldn't stand still. As if she was addicted to something she didn't have. She remembered what Cyborg had told her to say, how to say it... "I was told this is the place. You got it here, right?"

The kid, not much younger than Beast Boy, leaned on the frame and looked her over. He sniffed, and glanced back. "Got what?"

"Listen man," she itched her wrist, seemingly to pick at her flesh. She didn't realize how much she had to do, to appear as if she needed a fix. She was already getting tired remembering everything. "I just need one tonight. Then I'll be straight. Just one."

She could hear Robin's breathing in her ear as the kid shifted again. He imitated her, scratching his arms, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. "You look like you could use it. You got the agonies*. I got what ya' need. C'mon." He waved her forward and opened the door.

The breath slowly released from her lungs as she took one step over the threshold.

"Good job Rae," her leader commented and she nodded slowly, scratching her head to cover the motion. Frankly, she had been nervous. Raven didn't know anything about drugs, and the fact she was relying on Cyborg's advice made it even more nerve wracking.

But she was in. Mentally, she let her mind fizzle out, trying to find Speedy.

She reached out as she walked into the crummy home; broken furniture was thrown about, pictures fallen from rotten nails were on the ground in pieces. One lamp lighted up the living room, but the kid didn't stop. She followed him upstairs.

As she stepped around stairs that looked less than safe, she mentally searched for the warm aura of Speedy; everyone had an aura and imprint in the world. Robin's was fire engine red, pulsating and haunting. Star's was a soothing green, and peaceful, but could turn dark when her anger took her. Cyborg's was brown - stable, grounding and strong. Beast Boy's was a rich blue, fun, overfilled with emotions, and enjoyable but daunting.

Speedy's was a burnt orange; it was warm, comforting, and reminded the empath of the spicy cologne he was partial to wearing. They reached the end of the hall, and Raven froze to her spot.

She could feel Speedy's imprint in the house, but he wasn't there anymore. Slowly the door opened, and inside were two more kids, hunched over, holding various tools, and the rotting smell of death coated the room. Raven held her stomach and her breath.

"What's your candy of choice?" The kid asked, walking further into the room. "We've got jelly, Apple jacks, jet…*"

Mentally, Raven tried to call up the street name of the drug she was looking for. Robin had said Speedy's ring was the only one in charge of it. If she wanted to find him, she needed to find the drugs first. "I'm looking for my aunt Hazel*. Seen her?"

The young girl in the corner, dressed in rags with blond dreadlocks, snorted. "She ain't here. You need to go to another place for her. She's only out for those that really need to find her. Her masters keep her locked up tight."

"Where?" Raven asked, moving closer to the girl. She hunched forward, holding her stomach, and vomited into a small trashcan by the far wall. Her face was covered in a cold sweat, but she was smiling as if she were looking at something beautiful behind her eyelids.

"Look for big man on the corner. He'll take ya if he thinks you're being true. If not, he'll kill you."

* * *

Down the street, Raven stood on the darkened corner, hearing the midnight tolls of a faraway church. She watched the cars stopping, then moving on at a leisurely pace; one man at the center of the traffic.

He was as big as Cyborg, with darker skin and one gold hoop in his left ear. He was dressed in a black suit, with shiny black boots. His long black coat was heavy in the early summer weather, but he wore it well. Inside the pockets, were drugs of all kinds.

Robin had told her that she didn't need to continue this; he had seen how shaken she had been when she left the crack house. He thought it was because she had been scared – and maybe on a level she had been – but she was more overwhelmed of the feelings of the kids that had been thrown at her. She had felt their desperation, had felt their pain, and had felt their loss and their need of the drugs to make them whole. It rocked her. It made her angry and sad and she had no way of knowing _why._

Children, kids, shouldn't have had to felt that way. They shouldn't have been abandoned; they shouldn't have felt as if a drug was the only thing good in the world. As soon as she had left the home, Raven had thrown up, emotions churning in her stomach leaving a sour taste still there.

But she was here to find Speedy; what if something had happened to him? He was her friend. He was her teammate. And she was not going to lose another friend, not if she could help it.

Carefully, she approached the large man, having to glance up at him to even speak. She didn't meet him head on that she wanted to – and maybe knock him through a wall - but instead she continued playing her part. "I was told you're the one I go to for what I need." She ducked her head, pulling her sleeves up and down; giving the impression of a nervous habit.

The man looked at her, took in her scuffed up shoes, her stringy locks, her darkened eyes that smeared at the corners of her almond orbs. He nodded once, and then jerked his head. Raven glanced to the left and saw a low black sedan waiting, with the engine running.

"Jones isn't here*. But you can find him with the car." His voice was deep, powerful. If Raven hadn't been a superhero, with the blood of a demon in her veins, she'd be intimidated. "Go."

Nodding awkwardly, she scurried to the sedan and climbed in. The car took off, at a slow pace, pulling away from the big man and the street corner. She knew Robin followed overhead.

* * *

The car stopped abruptly, making Raven slide forward in the street, her jeans sticking uncomfortably to the leather. She peeled herself out, the driver never once turning back to acknowledge her. If she was carting what appeared to be a drug addict to a drug exchange, she would never glance back either.

Stepping out, Raven looked up into a grand home. The lights burned inside with warmth, and the siding was a burnt red, with white trim. The house was lovingly taken care of and it showed.

That was not what she had been expecting.

Raven walked to the front door, and hesitantly knocked on the door. Another large man, with dark coffee colored skin and curly hair opened the door to peer down his nose at her. Bristling but not showing it, Raven tugged on her sleeves again and hopped on the heels of her feet.

"Jones here?"

The man glanced back and nodded once. He pointed over his shoulder, to the side of the house. "Go out back."

The door shut soundly, and Raven sighed, exasperated.

She dragged her feet to the side of the house the man had indicated, feeling the exhaustion in her bones. It was late, she had been up early that morning, and the emotional rollercoaster of the day was enough to make her sleep a week. She needed to find Speedy, and now.

The plain white service door was opened and waiting for her when she turned the corner. There wasn't anyone waiting, so she stepped inside.

The room was cold. And dark. And quickly, Raven felt out looking for Speedy before her nerves and emotions got to her. She didn't like the room; it was like a basement, and the creepy vibes the room was sending out was terrifying. Swiftly, a light bulb turned on overhead, just as a spark of orange caught her mind's eye.

"Looking for a fix?" The voice said, as Raven blinked. The man was older, heavy set, with richly tailored clothing fitting his massive body. To his right, was Speedy.

They locked eyes, and Raven felt her friend deflate; she saw the sheen on his forehead, and saw the hopping of his feet. His arms were behind his back, but he looked at the pile of drugs on the table like he wanted to reach out and claim them for himself.

Raven felt her heart drop as her throat closed up. Her best friend was addicted to the drugs he had hoped to get off the streets. It was as obvious as the bright copper of his locks.

"Well?" The man prompted, his eyes locked on her. She shifted, and nodded, gesturing to the table.

"Yes." She cleared her throat. "How much?"

Glancing her over, he stared bluntly at her chest, then to her hips. The look made Raven want to crawl away but she held firm. "We can arrange payment after your trip." He pointed to Speedy. "Roy will take you to a room and help you out."

His uncovered amber orbs, full of fire and life, were dull with regret and pain. He began to walk and Raven followed, keeping her mouth shut until she could talk and not endanger him.

They went into a side room, only three doors down. There was a messy bed, with a desk and a singular lamp on it. There was a pile of clothes in the corner and Raven could feel Speedy's presence in the room. She wanted to relax but as the door closed, Speedy spun her, pushing her against it, his hips trapping her against him. She couldn't move, and she'd have to use her powers if she wanted to get away.

"Why are you here?" His breath smelled like death and Raven silently cursed the Gods. "You shouldn't be here Raven."

"You were missing Roy." She bit out, purple eyes glaring at her friend. "Your team couldn't find you. We were worried. And you're addicted." He reacted as if slapped. "You need to get out of here. Now."

"No, I'm too close." He yanked away from her, as if the sight of her repulsed him. "He's giving me more and more liberties. He's letting me in on everything. I'm this close Rae, this close." He held up his fingers as if the distance were tangible. "I can't back off now."

"Roy," she said slowly, watching as he sat down heavily on to the bed. He hunched forward, pain taking control of his stomach as he whimpered. "Roy, you can't stay. You're hurting."

"I'm fine," he bit out, ruffling through the bottom of his bed. "I'm getting him off the streets. Making it better for the kids here." His amber eyes glanced to Raven; he was grey, ashen and sick. His orange hair was cropped short, and sleeked down with sweat. He looked terrible. "Can't you see Raven? I'm doing something great. I'm making the world better. Just like Aqualad did."

The tip of the needle touched the vein on his arm and Raven reacted immediately. Using her dark telekinesis, she ripped it from his hands, and plunged the needle into the wall with such force it startled the empath. But she didn't think on it too long before focusing on Roy.

"Aqualad would not want you to sacrifice yourself like this. He wouldn't want you to kill yourself. You're hurting yourself over nothing. Nothing, Roy." She knelt before him, grabbing his chin in her small hand. He was clammy to the touch. She could feel his life force slipping away from him. "I'm going to help you. I'm going to make sure you get better. Do you understand me Roy Harper? We're going to do this together. You're not going to hurt like this anymore."

Finally, a spark, a light filled the archer's eyes as his shoulders fell. "I hurt Rae, really bad." He slumped forward, and Raven let his head rest on her shoulder, wrapping her arms around him. "And I miss my best friend. I can't even remember his face anymore. The drugs – they help. But it hurts. So bad, Rae."

She closed her eyes against the onslaught of his pain, letting it wash over her shields. She held him as best as she could to comfort him. "I know, Roy. I know."

* * *

The next few nights after Raven found Roy passed in a blur. Raven teleported Speedy back to his tower that evening, as Robin alerted the local police to the king pin's home. With the information Roy had kept on the man, including the details of all the places where drugs were stored and sold, he helped bust the largest drug ring in the city. Dozens of people were arrested as homes and storage areas were broken into, and drugs were taken off the streets.

It didn't make getting Roy better any easier.

Robin never once commented on Raven's adamant help of Roy. She watched him day and night. When he awoke with a fever, she was there with a cool cloth. When he was thirsty, there was always water. When the dreams took him, she calmed him with soothing words and soft touches.

As she watched the archer, Robin watched her.

A strong emotion, one he couldn't place took root in his belly. It was tight with dread and worry, but biting. He hated the way Raven nursed Speedy, the way she seemed to know everything he needed and what he wanted to say but never did. Their closeness, which used to be of banter and slight flirting, changed before the leader's eyes. It grew to fondness, to understanding, to appreciation.

And he could swear something more was growing in the archer's eyes for their friend Raven.

He was thinking on it, as he and his girlfriend watched a movie in the Titan's East common room. It had been over a month since they saved Speedy from the house; out of loyalty to Roy they didn't tell the others of his state and of his addiction. That was something he would have to work out on his own, on his time. It wasn't Robin or Raven's place to mention it. They only worried about getting him better.

Including, signing him up for recovery classes. He had already gone to three.

Now, Raven was back at the tower with Robin, in her room, meditating. Cyborg was working in his lab. Beast Boy was in his room, playing video games. With their return, the guilt and blame that hovered around the tower after Aqualad's passing had lifted. It was still there, but Robin felt like he could breathe again. He felt as if everything was slowly working out.

"You are overthinking again Robin," Star said suddenly to his side. He glanced to her, brows furrowed.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed, smiling softly. "You get a look on your face when you are trying to solve a puzzle that doesn't seem to have an answer. You are overthinking. What's on your mind?"

Ever since they had begun their new stage of their relationship, their closeness had increased. Star was more observant and Robin was more affectionate. Their bond was strong, and Robin could feel love taking root into his heart for the Princess. It was warm and soothing and her touch drove him insane.

In fact, he was sure he had fallen for her, the first day she had kissed him.

"I'm just thinking about Roy."

"And Raven," Star added thoughtfully. At her boyfriend's curious if not shocked look, she shrugged. "You have taken more notice of her recently, as if you are trying to protect her from something no one can see. You are worried for her. Perhaps it is because during the battle with Slade, she was terribly injured." Briefly, Robin flashed to the days he spent by her side in the med lab and nodded, conceding. He had never been so worried to lose her than that day; even in Hell, locating her, the worry hadn't been as extreme. "And her healing has changed. You take her safety on to your shoulders, more so than the others of this team. I believe it is because when Trigon came into our world, you saved Raven then. And I think you will always want to save her and feel she needs to be saved.

"But she is a strong woman, Robin. She is powerful. And if Speedy steals her heart, I think she will handle it fine."

Sighing, Robin rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. His girlfriend was right; was that the only reason he was always watching Raven? Why he made her tea in the morning? Made sure her privacy was respected? Took offense when she seemed to not notice his attentions? Because he thought of himself as her personal protector? "And if he breaks her heart?"

"Then I believe Raven is strong enough to handle that as well. You must let what is meant to happen, happen."

Snuggling closer to his side, Robin kissed his girlfriend's forehead, even if the idea of Raven dating Speedy twisted his stomach. And he wasn't sure why.

* * *

That night, sitting lotus style in her room, with books, her mirror and her communicator on her bed, Raven sighed tiredly.

Her emotions for Robin had decreased, and she had just returned from putting more guards over the link keeping them bonded. It was a tiring exercise, but if it kept their privacy, if it kept her from feeling for her best friend's boyfriend, then she would do it gladly.

Her communicator rang, and lifting it into long fingers, she flipped it open, to see Roy's face. He was smiling, which was a new thing she was becoming accustomed to again, with a healthy glowing face, and flirtatious eyes.

"Hey Rae!" He greeted, smiling widely.

"Hello Roy," she returned, edging back on to her bed, as her pillows propped her up. "How was your session today?"

"Great, it just finished. They said I'm doing really well for quitting cold turkey after the amount I had pumped into my veins. But I've got a long road ahead of me." He rubbed the back of his skull, biting his bottom lip. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

Smirking, she shrugged. "Probably saving the world. Like every other night." She deadpanned, earning a chuckle from the archer.

"Well if Rob can spare you, I'd like to take you out. You and I. Together." His face was hopeful, open and earnest. Raven couldn't stop the flutter of _something_ in her belly, as her lips pulled up into a soft smile.

"I'm sure he can. Where did you want to go?"

* * *

**AN:** Truth be told – this award winning story in the comics is epic. And it's not Raven that finds and helps Speedy, but Black Canary, creating a strong bond between them (like a mother/ son relationship – at least to me). I'll still have it, because it helps set up another one-shot in this story, but Raven was obviously chosen to help their relationship and progress it. I know a lot of diehards will hate the change, but understand it's happening for a reason.

And to be honest, set in Titan's cartoon time, Raven seems the most likely to bring someone out of the dark; again this will set up something else in the future. I love the foreshadowing component of these one shots!

_** Drug references: I know nothing about drugs – good thing too – so a lot of these were looked up, or confirmed with others. Just because I live in NY, and in an upstate inner city, does not mean drugs are all over ;) So if something is wrong, I apologize now._

"_You got the agonies." – Agonies are the symptoms of withdrawal. So when the kid says this to Raven, he's meaning that she's going through withdrawal and could use a fix to counteract it. Also means, Raven's doing a damned good job at acting._

"_Apple jacks, jet, and jelly, Aunt Hazel, Jones" – these all refer to drugs – crank, cocaine, heroin etc._

So what did we think? Let me know!

_Peace_

Next chapter: Roy's road isn't smooth sailing and Raven's there for the journey; Beast Boy has to come clean to the Titans as an old face appears, Starfire has to weight options and Cyborg finally understands Robin. Somewhat.


	5. Tested Bonds

**Disclaimer:** See Chapter One.

**AN:** Thank you for the reviews again – great comments. I love how you guys are keeping me on track and expressing interest in the stories evolving with our characters. It makes me feel amazing that you guys are getting into it.

And I apologize now for any errors. I'm sick – like can't stand, head feels fuzzy, shivering because you're too cold even though everyone else is telling you, you're hot… But I've been working on this for the better part of the month. I went out to California to visit friends, and still worked on this (lame, I know). So hopefully, it makes sense. I've had to cut out a few things that will be featured in the next chapter because it was just getting too long. It seems the chapters keep growing and the parts I originally wanted are getting elongated or pushed back.

Eh, c'est la vie.

Without further interruptions – enjoy!

**Chapter 5**

**Tested Bonds**

_(Time Frame: Two months after Speedy begins rehab sessions, six months after Aqualad's death, almost a year since Tokyo, and almost three years since Trigon and Brother Blood battles)._

* * *

Robin sat on the green sectional couch, the massive TV in front of him muted; it was only a tele-merical that held no interest to him. His tired blue eyes were trained on the window in front of him, watching the twinkling white stars intently. His body seemed relaxed, almost lethargic in the late hours of the Titan's Tower. But his ears were tuned into the tower around him.

It was late, well past midnight. The other Titans were in bed, or in their respective rooms, relaxing before sleeping. Cyborg was still working on advancing himself – he'd have to have a talk with him soon about exhaustion – the wear on the older Titan was as noticeable as the color of his cape. But for the most part he was settling into bed soon, finally his human side of reasoning winning against his machine side of endurance.

Even Beast Boy was sound asleep in his chambers, snoring to muted colorful television sitting on his dresser. With Raven's journey into helping Speedy – no one still had any idea about what occurred for the Archer except he needed to get out of there – Beast Boy's rage had lessen. Robin felt it was still there, and mostly directly at him, but it was more controllable. Beast Boy smiled more. He made funny – if not goofy – jokes again. He wasn't sure what made the young man turn over a new leaf; actually Robin knew it had to do with Bumble Bee and her team.

The dam had finally broken for the Titan's East. Their rage had turned into sadness with Speedy's return and Beast Boy had been privileged to witness them falling apart. And Robin was sure Beast Boy took that close to the heart and was forcefully pushing himself away from the pain and toward the light.

Robin couldn't blame him. Robin still laid Aqualad's death on his shoulders. He didn't know why he dove after Raven instead of helping Aqualad. He should've stayed. He should've known their friend, though experiencing a growth, was still too weak to defeat Slade alone. But Robin had been so worried for Raven – still the image of her lifeless body falling into the dark churning waves, her cape ripped from her mid back and fluttering in the wind gave him the sickest feeling in his stomach. But he couldn't have stopped himself if he wanted too; he should've known Cyborg would've caught the empath. Nothing had mattered more than making sure she was alive.

No one knew that was his ultimate reasoning for discarding Aqualad and flying after Raven, but Robin knew. He just chose to keep it to himself.

What if they deemed him not fit to lead? He couldn't have that. In fact, he wouldn't let himself get to that point. He made one mistake that cost him his friend, his teammate's life. He wouldn't ever make that mistake again. And it haunted him, daily.

Tuning back into the tower, Robin watched as the TV flickered to a new show, the lights dancing above him. He felt an itching sensation under his skin, making him want to jump with nervous energy. He knew why he felt that way. Everyone was where they should be. Except for one.

Raven wasn't home. It was the third night that week she was somewhere in the city, late into the night, without her communicator. She wasn't alone; and Robin wasn't sure if he liked the idea or detested it.

He adjusted his legs, placing them on the yellow coffee table in front of him. His dark sleep pants blended into the shadows and his chest was bare. He had fallen asleep abruptly after reviewing local cases from the police that he could give insight to and then awoke around eleven to find everyone where they should've been, except for Raven.

Now he sat up, waiting for his teammate. He couldn't explain why. Something twisted in his stomach as the minutes clicked by and she wasn't home. He briefly remembered the conversation with Star almost two months ago about his protectiveness of the young woman. She was still half demon, considered royalty by evil and the most powerful empath on Earth; there were no real threats coming her way that she wouldn't have handled well alone. But since her release from Trigon, and the changes going along with her, Robin felt like she needed the extra protection. He liked to think that was why he had dived for her in the ocean all those months ago; if it had been Star, would he have panicked the same way? Or would he have trusted Star being able to save herself?

Protective or not, Robin knew Raven; and with the recent changes, her temper striking out and then miraculously seeming to vanish over night, he wanted to watch her back. Because he was her friend, her leader, her confidante. And he wasn't too sure the man at her side that evening knew her, and could help her the same way.

The doors beneath the Tower, into the garage were a slight rumble in the night. Robin could hear the reviving of a motorcycle and the clanking of the door as they closed. He counted to fourteen as the elevator ascended before Raven appeared in the common room.

He glanced back, arm over the back of the couch to steady himself. Her hair was styled, short curls windswept by the ride were plastered to her pinked cheeks. Her black t-shirt was tight to her curves and the jean skirt was short; but the high black boots hid most of her leg from view. It was a very hip look, but kept the conservative woman covered and fashionable. It was a sight Robin wasn't used to seeing; pajamas, work out clothing, uniforms, sure. Date outfits, no.

She continued to the kitchen, but stopped in her tracks as she turned her kohl rimmed eyes toward him. She had sensed him a few seconds later than he has thought she would; her mind was elsewhere. Her purple eyes reflected the stars from outside and Robin felt his breath hitch just slightly.

What the _hell_ was that?

"Robin?"

"Have fun?" He countered, standing to his full height. He moved closer to Raven, being drawn to her, standing over her like a predator to prey. "You were out late. Hope Speedy is taking good care of you."

Slowly, Raven backed away, the small of her back hitting the edge of the counter. She smelled like diesel, warm tea and hot spice – Speedy's cologne. That thing in Robin's belly turned dove deeper into him, making him move away from the woman. The smell didn't fit, it disgusted him. He felt like he was going to be sick.

"It was enjoyable." She replied quietly. Robin couldn't help but look at the dark goddess, seeing how the lights of the moon and stars highlighted her curves; she was lean, but womanly, so different than Star's slim model good looks. Raven was dark, haunting, sexy, beautiful…

Robin stopped, frozen solid.

She turned around, placing the kettle of already filled water – from Cyborg no doubt – on to the stove. The flicker of flame beneath was a contrast to her dark looks. "He took me for a ride on his motorcycle, and we had dinner as a small diner on the poorer side of Jump. It was…nice." Robin swore he saw her lips flicker into a small, pleased smile.

"In the poorer section, and it was nice?" He couldn't help the scoff. "Why is that?"

Her gaze caught his, and she raised an eyebrow. "It made me feel normal, Robin." She said it as if he should understand. And now that she said it, he did; he almost wanted to hit himself because he did get it. Raven's only dream in the world was to be normal. How could he have missed that?

"Just dinner and a ride?" He asked, ignoring his stupid mistake. He seemed he was making a lot of those with her. He moved further away, sitting on the barstool, arms on the counter. She turned her back to him, watching the kettle, hip cocked.

"Yes. Just dinner and a ride." Her voice had taken on a slight monotone and it hurt Robin some way. The dark woman had let warmth into her voice since becoming released from Trigon. At first it had been small, seemingly lost as her monotone had tried to take back control.

But ever since Speedy, it was coming out more and more. It made her voice sound raspy but feminine. Clear, smooth, like water in a stream under a full moon. Robin liked hearing it. Everyone did.

"That sounds…nice." The words were sour on his tongue. "I'm glad you had fun."

Raven glanced back at him, moving to lean over the counter. Her dark rimmed eyes caught his blue ones, probing him, staring at him as if he were an interesting case to be studied. He couldn't help glancing to her lips before she pulled back, shaking her head. "Why are you up? You're tired."

She didn't have to ask if he was tired, she just knew. Their link was just barely recognizable in Robin's mind. He missed the feeling of being connected to her, but in the recent weeks, Raven had closed the door tighter. He barely felt wisps of her anymore; he wondered if she could feel him, or if she just knew him that well to notice his exhaustion.

"You weren't home. I was waiting up." He shrugged, pulling back further. He glanced to the dancing images on the television screen. "But you're fine. So I'll let you get settled in and I'll see you in the morning."

He was half way to the door before Raven's voice drifted to him. It made him stop, to strain and listen to her soft words. "You don't need to protect me, Robin."

He felt her words, almost like a strike. Why did it hurt for her to say that?

"It's my job." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He didn't mean for them to sound so stark, so cold. Perhaps he really was too tired, and he was just reading into things? Into his thoughts, his emotions, his mannerisms. He needed to rest. "Good night Raven."

The doors opening and closing behind him, seemed to echo.

* * *

Raven stood against the counter, hearing the tea kettle whisper but not reacting. Her heart thudded into her chest, painfully, as if it were going to explode from behind her breastbone. She placed a hand there, eyes closed, trying to still it.

It was only his job. Only his job to protect her. She wasn't anything more to Robin than a duty, a job, and an obligation. Her heart rattled and Raven took a deep calming breath as a fresh wave of pain vibrated under her skin.

It shouldn't have hurt. It really shouldn't have mattered to the young woman. Robin was her leader, her friend; his job was to care and protect his team. Raven was a part of that team. But deeper, inside that locked box of her emotions for her leader she had stowed away, she had wanted more than just that. She hadn't wanted to mean more than a job to the young man.

Carefully, Raven released the air in her lungs, and with it, the pain. Slowly, it relented, and she felt a sense of calm return to her. It was getting easier, much easier, to let go of her emotions concerning the masked man, but there were still moments she slipped up. Like now.

Pouring the hot water into the mug, Raven grasped the tea to her chest, savoring the burning warmth, to counteract the coldness in her body. Just as she was about to leave the common room, her communicator rang in her side pocket.

Speedy's smiling face greeted her, and something in Raven lightened. It seemed her mood always increased whenever Speedy was around her. She enjoyed his company and in fact looked forward to it. "Didn't I just leave you?" She taunted, her voice a distant rasp in the nighttime.

The man on the other line laughed loudly. "Yeah, but I was falling asleep on my way back to the East Coast." Raven could hear the clicking of knobs and levers in the Titan's East's airship as the archer prepared for takeoff. "I needed something pretty and with a wide vocabulary for insulting me to keep me awake."

Smirking, with thoughts and pains from earlier vanishing, Raven continued on to her room. "I think I can help with that."

* * *

The air was warm, muggy and stuck to his skin uncomfortably. It was late August, the last bit of summer heat beating the city mercilessly. But to Beast Boy it was another reminder of home; of the jungles, traveling with his family, the distant calls of animals in the night. The heat, the humidity, the scent of water on the air all reminded the young man of working in the ferns, with his parents and their voices.

It also reminded Beast Boy of the cure that would give him his talents. He never faulted his parents for saving him and changing him; Beast Boy loved being who he was! He loved being one with nature, with communicating with animals.

And it made him a hero. He helped people; he was different, and he could help people when they couldn't help themselves! There was nothing better!

Now as he sat outside the school, his head tucked under a borrowed baseball cap from Robin, and in street clothes Star had bought him for Christmas, being green and a shifter wasn't exactly cool. And, it wasn't really helping him keep a low profile, and it certainly wasn't helping him talk to a certain girl.

He waited like he always did – not like in stalker ways, but he did it regularly enough to know her schedule – as he watched a petite blonde walk off the stoop of the school. She was a freshman in college, taking a few courses in biology. Her big blue eyes were just as large as they had been as a child, and though she was still small, she had small curves to her athletic physique.

She wasn't model pretty like Star, or a sultry beauty like Raven had become, but she was a girl next door cute woman, with a loud laugh and a lot of scars she didn't know about. But he knew. And he wanted to get her to know them.

Beast Boy never approached Terra though; not since the day he first saw her and was so overcome with relief she had returned to them. Instead, he kept the secret, kept her appearance away from his teammates in order to give her the privacy she desperately needed.

Something had brought her back, but her memories were gone. And though Beast Boy wanted to show her everything she was missing, everything that she could do, show her his world again, he let her have her peace. Let her have the ignorance she was given as a reprieve. Because Beast Boy knew, that the Terra he knew, if she had returned with the knowledge of what she had done to the people that cared about her, the consequences of guilt would destroy her. He couldn't bear to bring that down on her shoulders now. Not with her so happy and carefree; being just another young adult.

So he let her live her life; unassuming, unknowing, that at one time she had been his friend, his first love and also his enemy that in the end had saved his life.

But he would always watch her.

Silently, she pasted him, as he looked at the concrete before him, the cap hiding his face and the outfit hiding his skin from view. She giggled at something a boy to her right said, he saw the way she blushed and flipped her hair over her shoulder. His stomach dropped and he turned away, unable to see his love flirt with another guy. It made him sick.

Carefully, he continued on in the opposite direction as her. He never followed her away from the school, he never tried to intervene with her life. He only watched; if not for her safety, for his peace of mind. He'd rather know that she was safe, than not, with his own eyes.

* * *

A few more twists. _Screech… screech… screeeech…_

Cyborg cocked his head. It had to fit in better. He picked up the hammer.

_Bang, bang, bang…bang bang bang BANG!_

Pulling back, he scanned the contraption, and nodded once. _There we go…_

Picking up a throw torch, he held it up, goggles fastening to his eyes to block the bright lights.

Just as he was about to touch the flame to metal, there was a knocking on his door. The large man stopped, stood up straighter and listened again. Was there a knocking? Or had he imagined it?

The seconds ticked by as the person on the other end knocked once more. Grumbling a few choice words under his breath, Cyborg turned to the door, flames off and away. He called out, "I'm kind of busy. Who is it?"

"Robin," the deep voice said on the other side.

Mentally cringing, Cyborg wiped his brow. When had Robin grown up? Was it really just a few months ago, that spiky hair punk kid he had met up with had become a man? It didn't seem real to the half machine. In fact, it was mind blowing to comprehend.

Glancing to the far wall where a singular calendar hung by a small picture, he saw it wasn't too long until Beast Boy's twenty first birthday and right after that it would be his'. Rubbing tired eyes, Cyborg sighed in the silence of his lab. He was going to be twenty four. Was it not that long ago, he was sixteen, on the streets, considered a half machine monster, with no way to letting out his anger and rage?

Now he was a hero; a genius in the field of robotics and travel, a member of the best crime fighting team to be ever created – especially starting off as just kids. They had saved the world – twice. Where had the time gone?

"Cy?" His leader questioned through the door. Snapping back into the present, Cyborg entered his code, his body blocking the door for Robin to look past his massive body.

"Hey Rob," Cy greeted, looking down at the man. He was almost six foot, and Cyborg dwarfed him and Beast Boy; that kid wasn't going to be much taller than five nine if that. "I'm in the middle of something-"

"Can we talk?" Robin interrupted. He wasn't dressed in his uniform; he wore light jeans and a simple white t-shirt though he was wearing sunglasses to shield his eyes and his steel toed boots. How no one ever discovered him when he was dressed as a "civilian", Cyborg didn't know.

Cocking his head, Cyborg rubbed his chin in thought. It wasn't the leader that had come to talk to him about his recent anti-social behavior – he had heard enough from Rae about that – nor was it the commander asking for his second in command's opinion about strategies. This was just a friend, coming to another friend for help.

Glancing back at the new limb he was creating, Cyborg rubbed the back of his neck in frustration. It would have to wait. Robin needed to talk and he rarely ever felt like opening up; Cy would be insane to turn down the chance to pick his brain. He nodded and waved his friend forward.

The young man didn't waste time and jumped into the half machine's room, finding a stool to perch on. Cyborg turned to look at him and held his tongue.

With Raven, all Cyborg had to do was say a few, truthful words, and she would open up to him. With Beast Boy, Cyborg only had to put on a distracting movie or game, and the changeling would open up. With Star, he only had to buy her flowers when she was down, or had something on her mind, and she would open up to him. With Robin? His leader needed silence and no questions.

"What do you think of Speedy?" He asked, looking at the far wall, arms crossed over his chest. "More specifically with Raven?"

Cyborg puffed out his cheeks, taking in the words, the tone of Robin's voice and the defensive posture he had adopted. Glancing skyward, Cy could only shake his head at the irony of the world.

His leader, Robin, was jealous of Speedy. It wasn't like he was in love with Raven. He was –

Human eye going wide, Cyborg mentally slapped himself. Oh this was just great. Robin was falling for Raven, after she had already pushed away and hidden her emotions for him; because she wanted him to be happy with Star. And that she was finding happiness with Speedy – at least Cy thought that's where they were headed – he was starting to develop feelings for her.

He shook his head. This was just too much.

Moving closer to Robin, he lowered himself on to a metal stool, looking at him seriously. He knew Robin didn't think he was in love with Raven. Cyborg would put money down that the masked man only thought he was being a good friend; for a human, not half of anything, nor stunted his entire life from feeling, Robin was the least observant about his own feelings than most.

"You're worried about her?" Cyborg asked instead, watching as Robin's face flickered with emotions. He couldn't place any of them.

"You know Speedy's reputation." He answered, ruffling his locks on top of his head. They were getting a little long for Cyborg's taste. "Raven's a smart girl, but inexperienced. Speedy might not know how to handle it and might do something to hurt her."

Cyborg wanted to call bullshit on his leader. He was just about to shout it out, to throw Robin and Raven in a closet, lock the door and throw away a key and pray they weren't thick enough to just say how they felt. It was the only reason behind everything. It was the only answer.

But his mind flashed to Star and Robin. And he knew maybe, things were a bit more complicated than they appeared.

"Speedy likes women." Cyborg commented, rubbing his chin, trying to keep from shaking his leader into the ground. Everyone knew about Speedy. He was a shameless flirt growing up, and only became worse the older he got. It was a common fact; Speedy liked girls. "But he's honorable."

Another true point. Speedy dated a lot, Speedy hooked up with women, but he never flaunted the details of his encounters; he was respectable, and kept his private information, private.

The fact everyone knew he liked women, was because Speedy tended to flaunt the _different _girls. Just not the details of what they did. That, he let others assume and make up their own stories.

"And Raven is a strong woman. She's inexperienced with emotions, but she's experienced more than most people know." Cyborg pointedly looked at Robin, but the stare was wasted on him. His leader was as thick as they came. Shrugging, Cyborg gestured with his hands. "It seems unlikely, but in the same breath, it doesn't really. Raven is new to emotions, and Speedy runs high on his. He understands, and Rae needs that right now. And they have a bond." Lowering his voice, Cyborg continued. "Whatever happened during that busting out of Speedy, made them close. I don't know details and frankly, I don't want them. But whatever happened made them close. You can't disregard that. And if something comes from it? Something comes from it."

Pouting, Robin tugged on his strands. "I didn't expect you to support the match."

"Never said I did," Cyborg smirked, bald head reflecting the florescent lights overhead. "And there isn't a match, yet. I also want my adopted sister happy. That girl deserves happiness. More than you know, Rob."

Glaring, as Cy knew he would, Robin furrowed his brows. He liked thinking he knew Raven better than anyone. "I know Rae deserves happiness. After her father, her childhood, her release, Slade, she deserves it more than anybody I know."

Cyborg let the fact that she was sacrificing her happiness for him and Star pass. This wasn't the time to throw that in his leader's face. If he had told him, would Robin still be as opposed to Rae finally moving on? "Then let her have it with Speedy, man."

"I'm worried."

"So am I." Cyborg countered. "But you just got to let things happen."

Warring with his words, and his thoughts, Robin slowly nodded, conceding to his friend. He didn't say anything else as he rose, stopping only by the door. Now his face wasn't of a confused young man, but of a worried leader. Cyborg felt his energy deplete.

"You really need to stop working as hard as you are Cy." He gestured to his body, the shining silver parts, glowing with blue wires underneath. His red eye was darker, glowing hotly in the room. "Aqualad's death wasn't on you. Just because you're half machine, and he died, doesn't mean you failed him."

Swallowing the lump in his throat, Cyborg glanced to the far wall. A picture of them, as just kids, sat there, staring at him. They were smiling, Raven scowling, in the bright summer day. It jolted him. "It's not just Aqualad, Rob. What if it was you? Or Rae? Or Star, or BB? What if I failed you guys?" He shook his head. "My machine parts are supposed to make me endure more, be stronger and faster. When that fails, what do I have left?"

Robin smirked, though his face was solemn. Something like a shared kinship passed between them. "Then you're just human Cy. You're Victor Stone. Just like I was only Richard when I saw Aqualad fall. I couldn't save him anymore than you could've. You at least saved Raven. All I did was abandon our friend to his death."

Cyborg could hear the guilt in Robin's voice. He could taste it on the back of his tongue. Finally, Cy understood Robin just a little bit more. Everyone forgot, but Robin was more human than any of them. And during that battle, Robin had thought and reacted like Richard – not a superhero, but a human. It calmed Cyborg, it gave him a new appreciate and understanding of his friend and leader.

It also made Cyborg want to make BB see – it was just a simple, bad judgment call. Even now the changeling still couldn't let go of Robin's part in Aqualad's passing. He'd have to have a talk with him. Robin shrugged again, hands fisting at his sides as he said: "At the end of the day, take away the masks, the machines, the tainted genes and alien physique, and we're all the same. We're just people. And sometimes, we can't do everything. No matter what our others halves are made of. Just remember that Vic."

The door shut softly behind him, Cyborg still staring at the picture. He had been so obsessed with making himself better, in order to not just counteract Aqualad's death, but to prevent losing his friends lives. He didn't want to fail them. He couldn't lose them, not like he lost Aqualad.

Or his mom.

But, Robin was right. At the end of the day, they were just people. Because when everything was removed, they were all mortals, doing work too large for anyone else to handle.

Turning to the limb, his new leg, Cyborg nodded. One last upgrade, and then this obsession would be done. He already upgraded all his weapons, all the wired and sensors of his machine parts. Now it was time to upgrade his human side; and the only way to do that was understanding.

Mistakes happened. And they all weren't perfect, they couldn't dwell on the past but move forward.

Picking up the torch, Cyborg fastened his goggled back to his eyes, mind made up.

* * *

Raven stood in front of Robin and Cyborg the following morning, a small black bag hanging from her delicate shoulder. Her purple locks were pulled back into a short ponytail and her black shirt was simple, tight and her jeans styled with rips and tears but dark. Robin racked his mind trying to remember when the empath had let her grow out or when she had taken so much interest in fashion albeit a small amount; quickly he dismissed the train of thought as Raven began to speak.

"I'm leaving."

"Excuse me?"

"What?" The two male Titans said in unison. Cyborg stood, his body finally transformed enough to be different with melding silver and blue wires and parts; but he was in the common room, during the daylight hours. His eyes weren't as tired and a giant sandwich sat by his elbow, beside the crime reports the two had been scanning.

It was a sight Raven hadn't seen in some time, and it made her internally smile.

"You can't leave," Cyborg said, fists hanging by his sides. "We just got this team back on the right track and by you-"

"Easy Victor," Raven drawled tiredly. She lifted the bag for a demonstration. "I'm heading to Star City with Roy. He needs to accomplish a few things and wants my help to do it."

"Accomplish a few things?" Robin asked, crossing his arms. Something twisted in his stomach and he had to fight to put on a face of emotionless. "Does this have to do with his meetings?"

"And by meetings, I'm sure we're referring to when Roy was broken out of the ring, right?" Cy concluded. Then he shook his head, hands up in the air. "Actually, never mind. I don't even want to know." He pointed a finger to the empath. "Do what you need to with Roy. But if you need help, call me."

It wasn't just a friend or teammate, or even a second in command telling Raven this; this was coming from her surrogate brother. He meant he would drive out at two in the morning to come to her aid on the East Coast, he would swim oceans in order to help her. This was devotion and loyalty and protectiveness. And it made Raven smile, her eyes lighting in gratitude.

"We're only going to handle a few personal things. We won't be Speedy and Raven; we'll be Roy Harper and Rachel Roth." She nodded, head tilted, face barely smiling. "But your dedication is noted. I'll call if I need assistance."

Her eyes fell to her leader, but she refused to look into his masked eyes. "Robin?"

Rubbing his chin, Robin shrugged. "It's been quiet. We have everyone else. And I know Roy needs it." He didn't mention how he didn't approve. It wasn't called for. "Take whatever time you need. Help him with this. And we'll see you back soon." That thing twisted again, painfully and Robin swallowed back the tar taste on the back of his tongue.

Cyborg watched him out of the corner of his eye. Mentally he was shaking his head at his leader but he was also immensely proud he didn't say anything to piss Rae off. It was a delicate balance.

"It shouldn't be long. Perhaps a week." Raven resisted the urge to bait Robin. He didn't care she was leaving, the relief should've been a welcomed joy. She had been debating for hours on how to break the news to her leader. The fact there was barely a fight, when in reality she had prepared for the worse, should've been a welcomed reprieve.

Instead, the dark woman felt empty and not a least bit numb. And she wasn't sure why.

The male Titans nodded. "We'll alert Green Arrow and Black Canary that you're coming," Robin said, picking up his communication device. He was completely oblivious to her emotions; the link was blocked off well and good. Thankfully, Raven said a small prayer to the Gods above.

Raising a hand quickly, black magic wrapping around him solidly, Raven halted her leader's actions.

"That won't be necessary. What we're doing involves them." Her dark eyes finally did look to Robin, then Cyborg in turn. She was strong, emotionless again. It felt good to the young woman to finally be in control – of her body, her emotions. "Don't call them."

"Understood," Cyborg responded, sitting down at the table, picking up his sandwich and taking a large bite soundly. He gestured to Robin to let the whole communication thing go. "Just be safe." He said around a mouth full of food.

"Always," was all their dark goddess said before she transformed into the shape she was named for, and teleported through the tower.

* * *

Star sat on her bed, her dangling red locks tangled from sleep over her shoulder in disarray; her pale pink sleep shirt was tight to her petite and long body. In her hand was a silver palm communicator, in the other, her stuffed panda. Her wide green eyes looked into the device, tears welling into them, but valiantly they didn't fall. Even though her entire world crumbled around her.

"Your parents are dead, Princess." Galfore said in their native tongue slowly, voice laced with pain. "It seems your sister holds no love for your parents. Or of your brother."

"They are dead? All of them?" Her voice was strong despite the tears dripping from her cheeks, leaving streaks on her flawless skin.

"We have learned Wildfire is not dead. But he is missing. We are trying to locate him."

"He was most likely sold as another treaty item to be used," she spat out, switching to English. Her mind flashed to the misdeeds her sister had done to her, behind her parents' backs. "My sister is vile and corrupt. What else has she done? Why has she killed my parents?"

"Blackfire is a dark soul," Galfore shook his head, green eyes hard and hurtful. "We believed she was changed before birth, sent to be a challenge to our people. Sent on us by our ancient misdeeds. Because of her, our King and Queen, your parents are gone. Your brother is not where he is needed, home. She seeks to gain control of the planet."

"She cannot!" Star shouted, slamming a glow green hand on to her bright pink bed. The scent of burning fabric wafted into the air. "She will ruin our home, she will enslave our people! She must be stopped."

"Princess," Galfore sighed, long copper locks hanging behind him. They had lost luster, turning grey almost over night. Star's heart hurt to see him like that. "We understand what she is doing. By law she is next in line to take the throne, and we cannot prove she poisoned the rulers. To assume and judge is suicide without evidence." Star nodded, wiping tears from her orange cheeks.

Her people believed in the good of their race. They were a just and kind people, honorable and brave. If one had wronged, there had to be evidence, to support their evil ways. If not, then to make accusations would result in the accuser being the evil one. It was how her people worked, and she understood it.

But she did not like it.

"The only way to stop her from taking the throne would be if another of the royal blood challenges her to a fight. Winner becomes the ruler."

"It has been done before." She nodded, running a shaking hand through her hair. "Though it has been some time, in my family, that the need has ever arose. Once we find Wildfire we can have him-"

"Princess," her nanny stressed. Star looked at him and felt more tears fall from her eyes. "Your parents were murdered. Your evil sister is trying to take control of your planet, of your people. Your brother is missing. You are the only hope this world has for peace." His eyes were sad, and he returned to their native tongue. "You must become Queen."

"I have a duty to my friends, to protect Earth –" Even as she tried to defend her choice, her new home to her nanny, it didn't sound resolute. She had sworn to protect Earth, but her home – her people – was in dire need of her. Something in her could not justify her claims, even as she tried to voice them.

"You have a duty to protect Tameran, little one. Do not let us fall into ruin because you love another world more than us." His face turned older, the longer he talked. Wrinkles were showing up in his forehead, around his mouth. "Or because you love someone else more than you love your people."

"I love my world. I love my people," she said heatedly, finally switching to her native tongue. The words were hard, rushed as she breathed. "I am of Tameran. I am a child of its sky and birthed from it's fertile lands. My sister cannot hurt our world like she will if she rules.

"But I am committed here. I must think on this turn of events. Your men will search for Wildfire?"

Galfore nodded, eyes hard. The lime green glazed over with pain. "We will not stop until we have located him. He is a Prince, he is another of my surrogate children I have cared for until adulthood. Losing him is almost as painful as losing your parents, or you, Princess."

"Good. You will not rest until you find my younger brother then," she cleared her throat looking off the screen, voice catching as she spoke. "And I must make a decision."

"Yes, Princess."

Her eyes wavered, her nose running as she looked back to her guardian. "I have not told my parents that I loved them, Galfore. They do not know that I care for them, or that I will miss them. Already I feel as if I am breaking apart-"

"**Koriand'r**," Galfore interrupted harshly. "You are a warrior. You are a hero in two worlds. You are a Princess of Tameran. This pain, do not let it consume you.

"Our race feels more strongly than most. Our emotions drive us, we know this. Do not let your sadness drive you into madness. Use your love for your mother and father give you comfort that they loved you in turn. Let your mind rest easy that they knew you loved them. And use your sadness, turn it into fury, and have vengeance for your family. Use your anger to help, not hurt.

"That is what you must do. You must find a way to continue even though you wish to fall apart, little one." He smiled, sadly. "Your parents were my friends, they were my family. I understand the pain in which you are suffering. But rise over it."

Starfire nodded, closing the communicator to her guardian and tossing it across her bed. Her heart throbbed in her chest and she curled up into her bed, hugging her panda closely. She felt her body rack with sobs, her tears drenching her pink sheets, and her cries muffled from them.

She felt as if she were falling apart. Her brother was missing. Her parents were killed. And her sister was trying to destroy her world. And she was grieving from her family, with no way of knowing how to help them.

It had only been such a short amount of time since they had lost Aqualad, since they had just recovered Speedy, and not long before they had rescued Raven from near death. Would life, would fate or the Gods as Raven often said, let her have a moment of peace? Was her life doomed to continual pain and sadness, hurt and loss? Death, destruction, and never succeeding in helping those that needed it?

Suddenly, Starfire felt very, very tired.

A knock on her door had the alien bolting up on her bed, hastily wiping her face and nose of all traces of her sobbing. "Who is it?" She called out, trying to keep her voice steady despite the fact all she wanted to do was cry and grieve for her family. Galfore had said to be strong, but how could she when her whole being hurt?

"Robin. I need to talk to you."

Standing and moving to the door, Star leaned against the wall, panda under her arm. "Robin it is very early and I have just awoken, and I am afraid I am not feeling well. Can it not wait?"

She begged her boyfriend woulds leave her be. She did not feel like explaining what had occurred to him. At the choices she now had to make,

"Sorry Star." His voice was muffled through the door. "I'll make you soup to help you feel better in a little bit. But it can't wait. It's quick. Can you please open the door?"

Sighing, the alien warrior dried her face one more time and fanned herself to cool the flush in her cheeks. She had seen it on television; she hoped it would work for her. Softly the door swooshed open, and Robin's handsome face greeted her. "That's better," he smiled, moving closer to her.

His lips were hot to the touch, and his fingers burned her cheeks where they cradled her head. Their kiss was chaste and quick, but the pickles that ran along her arms were enough to make her smile, small but surely. "I'm sorry you're not feeling well. Do aliens get colds?"

"I believe it is just being tired," she explained, letting him pull her into an embrace. His hands sat on her hips and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Tightly, she hugged him, feeling his support even as her feet felt as if they were on uneven ground. "What is it you wanted to tell me?"

"Raven's gone." He said lowly, face pressed into her hair. Star stiffened, but Robin shook his head. "She's heading to Star City with Roy to help him with a few personal things. She thinks it'll be a week, but we're not sure. We'll be short one person, so we're all going to be on high alert."

"Alright," she said, heart beating wildly in her chest. They were already going to lose one person, and now she had to decide to leave them in their time of need too?

But what of her people? Or her planet? Of her parents and brother?

"Did you want anything?" He asked, masked eyes falling to her eyes. "Tea? Medicine? Company?" His grin was wide and welcoming, but Star shook her head softly.

"No Robin, I must rest. If anything happens, do contact me. I may be sleeping."

Running a finger down her cheek, then over her lips, Robin nodded a small smirk on his full mouth. "You got it. Let me know if you need anything."

"I shall."

They shared one more soft kiss before he departed, and Star fell back against her door, heart crumpling into tiny bits. How was she to leave them? How was she going to do anything?

The options, decisions, plans and theories all weighed heavily on the young alien's shoulders and she felt them sag with the load.

* * *

Roy looked up at the grand white French double doors, the stark white matching the blinding white of the attached mansion. And promptly turned around, fist still raised high into the air, tail tucked firmly between his legs.

"Oh no," Raven said, grabbing him by the shoulders. Her nails bit into his skin but he barely felt it. "You dragged me out here; we're going to do this, archer."

Roy sighed, copper locks slicked to his skull with gel and wax that glinted under the dying sunlight in the distance. He was in a worn brown leather jacket, low slung jeans and a dark mustard colored shirt. He looked good – he felt good. He was strong, capable. A hero. He shook his head, nodding more or less to himself than the woman at his side.

She was right. He had to do this.

It had been a few months since he began his rehab sessions; he had worked his way through the steps much quicker than others had, his counselor had told him. He was stronger than most recovering junkies – his counselor didn't say junkie but that's what Roy was – and now he had to face his first task in finishing the program.

He had to tell his family about his addiction.

He'd rather chew off his left hand.

"Right," Roy mumbled, shaking his hands out into the air. His counselor had told him it was one thing to do it on your own, but he had to involve his family. They had to know what he was going through – for support but also for Roy to understand another side of his addiction.

He could do to it himself again. He could easily slip down that dark road again. He could shoot up, enjoy the intense feelings again; remember seeing his biological father's face, see Aqualad's again. But by telling his family, telling Ollie, would make it that much harder to slip. Because his surrogate dad, _his mentor,_ wouldn't want him to slip. He'd want him to keep fighting. He'd want him to get better.

But the part that made Roy wish he didn't have to do this was, Ollie hated drugs.

_Hated_. With a _burning_ passion. He was the biggest anti-drug person, vigilante or superhero out there. He detested them, he forbade Speedy from ever even looking at them when growing up. How was he supposed to tell his father, the man that raised him and took him under his wing, that he was a recovering junkie?

"Roy," Raven said behind him, her presence a beacon in the storm of his unease. "It'll be fine." She didn't make to touch him, offer physical support. But then again, Rae never needed to. She just had a way about her, which made Roy feel comfortable and safe. And he needed that right now. "You can do this."

"I can do this," he repeated, taking a deep breath for courage. He stepped up to the door, and knock, louder than he thought he was going to; the sounds echoed down the barren suburbs street. Ollie, unlike Bruce, hadn't wanted to live alone in a giant mansion, surrounded only by trees. Ollie was one of the people, his house was big and grand, but the street he resided on, held many houses like that.

Roy liked that about him.

Waiting for the door to open, Roy fingered the singular key in his pocket. He could let himself in; Ollie said it would always be his house. But the whole talk needed to start off on the right foot. Including, letting Gordon, Ollie's personal servant escort them into the house. Ollie would appreciate that; especially if he and his new bride Dinnah were in the middle of something the archer didn't want to see. The idea alone gave him the creeps.

The door swung open, and an older man, in his forties looked down at the young man and woman in front of him. His dark hair was clean cut, and his black suit was crisp in the twilight hours. Smiling wide, Roy held out his arms and said: "Hey Gordy, I'm home. Fetch the big man, will ya? We gotta talk."

* * *

Cyborg grinned as the pizza was placed in front of him. The cheese was melting, the pepperoni, the sausage, the thick green peppers – he had to have some vegetables on the pie right? – and large pieces of ham all stared back at him, steam rising into the night sky. He inhaled and sighed, mouth watering.

"Dude," BB said to his left, poking his shoulder. "Just gross."

"Pay attention to your own pizza, dork." He glared good naturally. He pointed to his pizza, an extra large, with extra cheese and stuffed crust. It smelled heavenly "And I'll worry about mine."

"But Cyborg, that is quite a bit of food," Star whispered, pointing to the thick crust. "You will be sick. And Raven is not here to heal your stomach."

Robin snorted, leaning back in his stool. The stars above twinkled, and the night air was heavy with blooming flowers and humidity. Though they were all dressed in uniform, Robin had wished maybe they had gone as civilians; his gloves were making his palms sweat uncomfortably. "Let him go Star. Cy'll learn his lesson when he's doubled over in the boy's bathroom again, wondering why he ever ate so much."

"Hey," the half machine pouted at his leader. "That was just one time. And I got food poisoning from under cooked meat."

"I think you didn't wait for it to be cooked before devouring it was the problem..." Beast Boy snickered, earning a hard look from Cyborg. Robin laughed, arms crossed over his chest.

"Whatever man," Robin waved off, just as the remaining pizzas were delivered. Beast boy got a tofu pizza – no cheese but with a cheese substitute, and he was sharing a baked chicken, sweet pineapple, black olives and honey baked ham with Star. She had wanted anchovies, but he had to have put his foot down somewhere. It was always just so hard telling her no.

Holding the mustard into her hand, Star stuck out her tongue debating on where to put the sauce. Blinking, she looked up at her friends, a moment of sadness crossing her face. Robin noticed it, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared. She cleared her throat, settling the bottle. "I wish Raven were here to partake in the pizza sharing. She would always share our pizza."

"Yeah," Beast Boy commented, swallowing a large, burning bite of his pizza. He gulped down his soda, tongue hanging out like an overheated dog. "It's not the same without her. Where'd she and Speedy go off to?"

"Star City," Robin responded, pushing his slice around on the plate. Cyborg eyed him but wisely remained silent. "Speedy needs help and Rae offered to assist."

Beast Boy snorted, shaking his head, smirk on his young face. Cy elbowed him, eyes narrowed. "What was that look for?"

"Never took Speedy for the sultry type. Or Raven for the scoundrel type." At the rest of his teammates confused expressions, BB flailed his arms. There was no way everyone missed it! He was the dense one, not the rest of the team. "Seriously dude, Speedy and Raven totally have a thing, don't they? I just never saw it coming, is all I'm saying."

"Neither did I, BB." Robin muttered, chomping on to his pizza harshly. He kept his masked eyes turned toward the sky and ignored the twitch of something in his belly at the idea. Maybe he was getting sick – he hadn't been sick in years – and he needed Cy's professional opinion. He'd have to ask him later.

Cyborg promptly smacked BB across the back of his skull. "Shut up man." That only earned a howl of laughter from the youngest teammate.

"Uhm friends," Star hesitantly interrupted. Her eyes weren't on the three boys, but out on the street below them. A few people walked by, mostly younger crowds, enjoying their last few nights of summer. "Who does that person by the movie theatre remind you of? She has a striking resemblance to someone else we know."

The three boys looked over the edge, gripping the cemented sides for support. Beast Boy dropped back almost instantly as Robin and Cyborg took to staring at the group. There was nothing that caught their attention – at least right away. The group was of college kids, mostly freshman with a few older friends sprinkled into the group. The crowd was predominately females, all in fashionable shorts and sparkling tank tops. Most had dark hair.

One girl had long blonde hair.

And wide blue eyes.

With a signature twin yellow gloves on her hands – made to look like a fashion accessory, but in reality were rock climbing gloves. Made for someone that handled dirt and rocks frequently without fear of cutting their palms.

"Terra?" Robin whispered, astonished. His mouth was open wide, green gloved hands twisted at his side.

"But how-?" Cy rubbed his jaw, his face aging as if before their eyes. "I tried everything to bring her back, and nothing worked. How is she right there?"

"Are we sure it's her?" Beast Boy shook his head, Robin had no clue. "It could be someone that looks like her. The tabloids say she's back every week. It's never her.*"

"Friend Terra!" Starfire screamed, waving wildly from the pizza parlor. Both Robin and Cyborg tried to grab for her, Beast Boy hiding his head from the sudden realization she _might see_ _him_; but the alien princess was too fast for the guys.

She zipped over the side, curtain of hair fanning out behind her like a satin red carpet. No one was quick enough to catch her until she landed and engulfed the young woman into a bone-crushing embrace. Beast Boy rubbed the bridge of his nose, shoulders drooping from defeat.

"Terra!"

Before either of them had a chance to jump down the wall – Cy grumbling "poor kid" – BB had already thought up 32 different responses for them finding Terra. 32 different excuses why he never told them about her. 32 different lies.

But then when Terra pulled back from Star's _embrace of doom,_ as Beast Boy liked to think of it as, her blue eyes were cloudy with confusion; almost the same dull hint that was rimmed around her bottom lids. When did she start wearing make-up?

"Who are you? And why do you known my name?"

* * *

**AN:** There! I have to stop there, otherwise I'm going to continue it and won't have anything for the next chapter. Well, what do we think?

Next chapter: Rae and Roy have a sit down with Ollie, The Team tries to figure out if that's the real Terra, and a battle they never thought coming - begins.

Leave me a line! Happy holidays and happy New Year!

"It could be someone that looks like her. The tabloids say she's back every week. It's never her.*": This is actually a little nod to another one of my one pieces - **Rumors, Truths and Lies**. It's a snappy, fun read that has all these wild accusations about the Titans; with wildly insane photos posted in the tabloids. If you read it, you'll know why I mentioned it here. Check it out, you won't be disappointed. _*End shameless plug here*_


	6. New Sorrows, Old Joys

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one.

**AN:** Yeah… I know. After losing my USB that had the beginnings of this story, to finding it, then it becoming corrupted, to losing it AGAIN… this story has taken a backseat. Don't get me wrong, I love this story and what I'm doing. It's a lot to write though at times, and my muse is fickle. Plus I've had a rough couple of months in life. Thanks for sticking by me.

And special thanks to my "stalkers" who see my reviews on other stories, and harass me to update mine. It made me giggle. And kind of pushed me to write. So thanks.

Enjoy!

**New Sorrows, Old Joys**

_(Time Frame: Direct continuation of Tested Bonds – these two one-shots are coexisting together, but not exactly following the same times; being on different coasts, there are time differences.)_

* * *

The study was lavishly decorated and a fire crackled to the side of them, casting shadows about the room. In her heavy hoodie, Raven felt the prickling of sweat; but ignored her discomfort for noticing her surroundings.

She had been to Wayne Manor; and instantly felt at home in the old architecture, Gothic statues and dark, Victorian colors. It was something out of an old novel and it brought Raven a sense of peace. Oliver Queen's residence was different.

The walls were painted creams and coffee colors; the carpets, where there were some, were a plush white, thick and comfortable. The wooden floors were oak, stained a bright and warm color. The furniture was functional, crisp but modern; worn, fitting together like a set from a designer catalogue.

The study was no different. The mantle of the fireplace was a white washed marble, the bookcases were white and thickly covered in old tomes. Raven itched to look at the titles, but held back.

And as her large eyes swept around, they finally rested on the superhero duo, Black Canary and Green Arrow sitting across from the young adults; two still defending members of the Justice League, though it was now common knowledge after their marriage, Dinnah had hung up her fishnets in favor of a domestic life. Ollie hadn't.

Taking in Dinnah's look – soft blonde locks, pretty lip full lips, and wide blue eyes – it was easy to see how Oliver had fallen for the formidable hero. In fact, Raven felt a bit of hero worship toward the woman. She and Starfire had kept a close eye on her brief stint with the Birds of Prey, working with the mysterious Oracle (who Raven had just learned, worked with _Robin_ as well). She had been the field commander, armed with a powerful screech that could blow up buildings, deafen people and quite literally burst eardrums; but it was how she led that Raven and Star had idolized her.

She was always the first to fight. She was always the first to defend her team members, and she was incredibly powerful with a right hook, more so than her power that she rarely used. In essence, she was what Rae and Star admired and hoped to be as they grew into their adult hero roles.

She was leaning beside her husband, wearing a pair of light jeans and simply button down white shirt. Oliver Queen, sat on the couch, rubbing the small patch of blonde hair on his chin, studying Roy – who just so happened to be staring at his feet.

If Dinnah was beautiful and strong, Ollie complimented her well, being broad shouldered, handsome and just a tad bit cocky. It was easy to see where Roy had developed his self-confidence from; as his casual stature and his smirking lips, it was easy to see his influence on the archer.

He finally sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, glancing to his wife. Dinnah shrugged, and continued to stare at the pair. "So…" the masked man said slowly. He shrugged as Roy finally looked up. "It's great to see you kid. I mean, it's been awhile since you came by."

"Yeah, sorry about that." He smiled bashfully. "And sorry about skipping the wedding. Duty calls."

"We understand," Dinnah said softly, smiling wryly. "When Brother Blood tries to take over the world, that tends to come before weddings."

"Or holidays," Ollie added, smirking. "And it's not like we don't love seeing you," he continued, leaning further into the couch. "But what brings you here, on short notice?"

"And with a friend," Dinnah interjected. Her keen eyes closed in on Raven and she felt the spotlight shift. "Are you bringing your girlfriend home to meet your parents?" She teased, earning a snort from her husband.

Roy rolled his amber eyes, and glared playfully. "Ease off Di." He patted Raven's knee fondly, them sitting so close in the armchairs that he could easily touch her. It was unnerving how easily he touched her when the rest of her teammates didn't. "Don't worry Rae. Dinnah just likes to think I'm settling down. At the ripe old age of twenty two." He shot his adoptive mother a look and she shrugged helplessly.

"One mother can only hope." She pointed to Ollie, rolling her eyes. "Sometimes I'm afraid Roy picked up more than Ollie's archery skills."

"Hey!" The older archer shouted, glaring at his wife. A smile threatened to form on his lips. "There's nothing wrong with a guy enjoying the company of women when he's young. That's what he should be doing. Marriage is for us old men."

"And I would like for my adopted son to settled with a strong, competent woman," Dinnah continued, ignoring Oliver. The man pouted as he realized she was over-talking him. "Like the mighty Raven."

Raven snorted silently. "I'm not exactly the strongest woman around, Dinnah," she rebuked, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her hoodie. Suddenly she wanted to hide from their scrutiny.

"No?" The former hero baited, puckering her lips. "The daughter of an inter-dimensional demon, who not only started one of the strongest teams on Earth, but also single handedly defeated said demon? All before the age of nineteen." She laughed, cocking an eyebrow. "Honey, I'm not sure what construes strength in your world, but here, that's legendary."

"I didn't do it alone," Raven defended, glancing to Roy who smiled proudly at his friend. "My team weakened Trigon so I could finish him. Without them, I'm not as strong as you might think."

"Beautiful, powerful and humble," Oliver whistled appreciatively. "Found a lucky one here Roy. I knew Zatanna wasn't exactly fond of you, but you could give her one hell of a run for her money. That whole confidence thing controls the strength of her magic. You must knock her down a few pegs."

At the name of the person who had convinced the league to turn their backs on a scared thirteen year old half demon girl, Raven felt her blood boil. It was because of her she had been homeless for a month's time before finding Robin. It was the mystic's fault no one in the superhero community would listen to her plight. Zatanna was the least favorite of Raven's acquaintances.

With great strain, she crossed her arms, letting her aggression go. "She was only acting in the best interest of the league. It led me to locating Robin and the others to form the Titans."

"You scare her," Ollie continued winking. "No one scares Zee. Not even Bats." The admission made the dark girl pause in thought. Not even Batman?

"Are you two dating?" Dinnah interrupted, earning a desperate look from Raven. Finally Roy stepped in, shushing his mother figure quietly. The closeness the two shared wasn't lost on Raven; it was clear Dinnah had been in Roy's life a long time. How long had the hero been with Green Arrow, to develop such a bond with the boy?

"No, listen guys." He sighed, standing from his chair. He back was slightly dam, sweat showing through his t-shirt. Roy ruffled his orange locks and winced as he bit his lip in thought. "I have to talk to you about something. Something important."

Both adult's faces fell. Sitting higher, Oliver looked at his protégé and cleared his throat. Within seconds he went from playboy millionaire, to Green Arrow; it was starling to Raven to see the sudden shift.

"Okay, Roy. We're listening. What happened? Are you alright?"

"Are you ill?" the former leader of the Birds of Prey asked quietly. Her blue eyes were wide in worry and Raven felt a pang of pity for the woman; she truly cared about Roy. The news would be hard to handle.

"Yes, no." He shook his head. He looked from Dinnah to Ollie. "Listen, old man. I made a mistake, and I need you to forgive me for this. And it's not a simple yes, Ol. It's a biggie here, alright?"

His dark eyes darkened. "You're scaring me kid. What happened?"

Taking a deep breath, he leaned in front of his mentor – his surrogate father and showed him the tracks along his forearms. The pin pricks that he had self-inflicted, to take the drugs he was trying to get off the street.

He was talking before anyone could even comprehend. "I was working an undercover case. I had to find the kingpin of this drug ring, I had to bring it down. It was right after Aqualad's death – Garth's death. It hurt to wake up and know he wasn't going to be there to make breakfast, or someone I could pick on – someone I could talk to. The tower was too quiet when he died. Everything tasted like ash. I barely slept.

"Karen asked me to help with a case and I jumped at it. It was something to do, something to help. To get my mind off Garth. And when I knew it was a drug ring, it was even better. We stopped so many together. I knew I could do it.

"I got in easy enough; my persona in Star held up in Steel, from when we'd infiltrate here. Then they started to test me and I couldn't jump ship. First it was defending a shipment from cops. Then it was trying a hit. And once I started, I just couldn't get enough. It was all I thought about. It helped me sleep. I could remember Garth's face – his voice. He was my best friend and finally I could remember his voice. I mean, I was a pretty lousy friend if after a few months I forgot my best friend's voice. And I just sunk lower."

There was a heavy pause. Ollie sat back, voice grave. "What are you telling me Roy?"

Roy's eyes were full of tears and he stood up, rubbing his arm sullenly. "I got addicted old man. I became a junkie. I'm a recovering heroine user."

Dinnah made a gasp – halfway between a sob and a gag. Raven couldn't stop looking at Oliver. His face was a mixture of emotions; some painful, some downright scary. Standing, Raven felt a few sparks of black magic coat her fingers, her defense to fight-or-flight coming to her senses. Whatever happened next, Raven wasn't going to like it.

And neither would Roy.

"The one thing in this world I always tried to instill in you Roy was the dangers of drugs," he spoke quietly, firmly. His eyes were narrowed and angry. "I kept you from those horrors. Showed you the effects of them on people. Made you promise to never touch them, ever. That had been my one rule – the one thing we stood against."

"I know old man, I know. I didn't want this –"

"Speedy would know not to become what we fought against. He would know not to be a – a junkie." He spat the word as if it was physically painful to say. Raven shook as she felt the hurricane of emotions surround them. Dinnah remained silent, watching in confusion. "You don't deserve to wear the mantle anymore Roy."

His face heartbreakingly fell. "Ol-"

"No." He stood, voice booming in the quiet study. The fire was the only background noise. "You're no longer Speedy. You don't deserve to wear the honor that name gives." Roy's shoulders fell, and Oliver stalked past his sidekick and shook his head. "Get out of my sight."

The young man snorted, Dinnah standing to halt her husband, eyes flying between the two of them. "You know what, old man?" He shook his head, whipping out the mask his other side wore. Like Robin he kept it tucked in a pocket when he might need it. "Keep it. Find someone else to put up with your mood swings. Find someone else that can be what you consider perfect." He dropped it to the floor, and smirked cruelly at the Green Arrow.

"In fact, have a great life. I don't need this," he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house. Dinnah could be heard following him, calling out to him.

Raven stood with Ollie for a few moments in silence, unable to find the urge to neither speak nor move. Did she try to speak logically to the hero? Did she flee too? Finally, he turned to her, and glared. "Anything to add, your highness?"

The slap was almost physical. Letting herself raise, hands glowing in blackness, she let her eyes turn white. Her bottom lip curled up in disgust. "I think you've said plenty." And she teleported out of the house, appearing on the stoop of the grand home, just as the moon rose overhead.

Roy was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

The blonde was overwhelmed; it was plain to see.

"How can it be you? We saw-"

"You have experienced the joys of make-up!"

"You're still wearing your rock climbing gloves…"

"You're too skinny girl!"

"You're blonde colored hair is much longer than I remember!"

Robin rubbed the bridge of his nose, wishing for the fifth time Raven was there. She could wrangle the team when he was trying to figure this all out. Star was holding the blonde girl – Terra – in his outstretched arms with a wide smile on her pretty face. BB stood by the side, looking lost and little bit sick.

Robin couldn't blame the kid. Terra was his first love, seemingly back from the dead. How did anyone handle that?

Cyborg, always the logical one, was picking up a few of her strands, and examining them closely with his machincal eye. Terra glanced all around, panicked, before landing on him, a few feet away. "A little help here?"

"Star," Robin called out gently. "Let her go."

The alien released their friend, all the while still smiling. "I am sorry. Sometimes I get excited and do not realize my own strength. It has been some time since we've seen you."

"Do I know you?" She asked, flipped a few strands out of her eyes. She glanced to Beast Boy, eyes narrowed slightly. "You, again?"

"Know her BB?" Cy asked, eyes glaring at the blonde girl.

"It was a long time ago." He muttered, kicking the dirt sadly. Lifting a hand, Cy rubbed his shoulder. "A long, long time ago."

"I told you before, I'm not your friend." She pointed to her chest, navy blue eyes wide. "I'm not a superhero. My name is Tara, I'm a college student in biology. I have two years left before I can get my Masters. I can't throw rocks. I hate rocks." She made a disgusted sound and Robin smirked.

She was smart, passionate but something about her was off to the leader. Something wasn't quite right. Again, he could really use Raven's insightfulness.

"Well then," Robin cleared his throat, gaining the groups attention. Beast Boy looked deflated and Star looked just plain happy at seeing their new friend. "We won't press the issue." Eyes locked with Cyborg the metal man nodded once. "But did you want to hang out with a group of super powered young adults? We were going to play a video game tournament, and we could use another player."

Cyborg continued. "Normally, we need a referee. Star is it this time, leaving us with an open spot." He glossed over where their fifth member of the team was; something Robin noticed and smirked knowingly. Cy - like - him - was not easily opened to sharing valuable information. Most criminals would attack if they thought the team was weakened without a member. And they still didn't know who this woman was.

At her curious, if not suspicious look, she bit her lip in thought. "I really need to study…"

BB jumped at the chance. "We won't be up late. We have early morning meetings, and if we're not there, alert, we have to do laps and obstacle runs until we are." He glared playfully at Robin, even if his expression was tinged with another emotion.

The green shifter was still coming to terms with Robin's involvement with Aqualad. It was lucky enough Cyborg had talked to him about the encounter and brought everything before the little guy. He wasn't happy – he didn't forgive Robin – but he understood. He looked up to the leader – Robin was his hero growing up – but he was only human. It wasn't just BB getting over his leader letting their friend die; it was understanding that his hero was human too and could make mistakes. It was a low blow to take in.

"So you in?" Robin asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

When her eyes lit up with a gleam of determination, Robin's breath paused in his throat. It was the same look that crossed her face when she tried to take over the city, under Slade's control.

"I'm in."

* * *

The walk was exhausting. Raven was almost tempted to drive Roy's bike down to the bar he had fled to; but then she thought better of it. She could drive a plane, a hybrid T-car – but a motorcycle was asking for trouble. Instead she huffed her way, three miles from Ollie's house, to the hole in the wall dive Roy was sitting in.

She didn't have to ask if the archer had run into the establishment. She could sense him. Since his stint in the underground, Raven had a tough hold of his aura; it felt like warm ambers that soothed on a cool night. That was when he wasn't hurting or angry – now, he was feeling both. And his aura was dancing like hungry flames that threatened to burn her.

But she had to find him and help him – soothe him. Ollie's rejection, his utter disdain was not what Roy needed. He had gone asking for forgiveness; he had gone asking for Oliver Queen's love. Instead he was meant with judgment and rebuttal. Roy wouldn't say how badly it had hurt him. But Raven had seen his face; the moment of hope that had crashed around his shoulders with Ollie's harsh words before he totally cut himself.

He had smiled, and walked out as if losing his father figure, mentor, and his newly found mother figure wasn't a big deal. But Raven knew him. Roy placed Oliver on a pedestal, and Dinnah hadn't been far behind. To lose them was a harsh blow; especially when he would lay the blame of losing his only family, on his own shoulders for succumbing to the allure of drugs.

Pushing open the door, the night sky was reflected inside; without the help of stars, Raven could barely make out the occupants. Only a few lights in the far corners kept the place from being a huge black hole. The sweet smell of liquor and the tang of sweat coated the air, making the young demoness pause as she entered.

Raven was no stranger to the bar scene; since becoming old enough the Titans had frequented a night out, normally under the watchful eye of Robin who didn't drink; she never indulged more than a glass of wine, but the places they had been were trendy clubs. This bar was seedy, and cold; she half expected to see a wanted criminal on a barstool, but she refrained from checking.

A quick scan revealed Roy at the bar, leaning against the old grain, an empty shot glass in front of him, with another tumbler by his left hand. There was a dark liquid inside, with no more than a mouthful left. He didn't look up when she approached; instead kept his amber eyes locked on the dusty television replaying the baseball game from that morning.

"Don't," was all he said, voice hoarse and tired. Raven could feel his pain – his remorse and agony – coat the air around them. They lapped at her weak shields and she felt the pressure of them wanting to drown her. She almost let them, wanting to experience his pain fully. "Don't say anything."

"I was only going to say," she started, pushing a few strands from her face in haste. "That you could've picked a closer bar. I'm not as quick as you. And teleporting would've blown our covers."

He glanced down to her, locking gazes, his lips trying to lift into something of a smirk. "Did I tire you out Rae-Rae?" He snorted, shaking his head. "Doesn't matter. I'm almost done here." He waved to the bartender, an elderly fellow with a bald spot, who replenished the shot and topped off his drink.

Raven's nose wrinkled up in irritation. "Bourbon? Really."

"Ollie's preferred drink," Roy muttered, downing the shot quickly. "The only thing he kept stocked at the house. There were nights when I was barely sixteen, and they were tough and we were bloody and beaten but had got the bad guys, when we'd walk into his study and collapse on to the couch. We'd sit there in silence for hours before he'd limp to the liquor cabinet, pour two drinks and hand it to me.

Smirking bitterly, Roy raised his glass. "He'd always hold it up for me, and snort before saying: 'You've earned this kid.' And we'd drink them together before stumbling to bed. It was like my reward for seeing the shit in the world and living to tell about it."

He took a swig and Raven watched him closely, remaining silent. She could hear the utter pain at his memories; what he thought to be the last good ones he'd ever have with the old hero.

Opening her mouth to respond – to say something – he snorted, dropping the heavy glass on to the bar. "I'm going to have to find a new identity when I head back to Steel."

Finding the topic change tangible, Raven shook her head. "Roy, Oliver wasn't serious. You can remain who you are. He doesn't own the identity you've built. Richard and Bruce have had fallings out, but Bruce never took away Robin from Richard." She placed a hand awkwardly on his shoulder. Was this how she was supposed to comfort him?

If it had been anyone else in the Tower she had to comfort, she would know what to do. Robin would need silence and space, but a ready ear. Cyborg would need someone to debate with, someone to make him see reason because he was stubborn. Starfire would need a hug, and close contact to feel secure and to have someone wipe away her tears. Beastboy would try to make her laugh until he would break, then she would try to cheer him up, admittedly poorly. But it would make him laugh and then he'd be fine.

Now faced with Roy, the man she had rescued from a drug kingpin, had nursed back to health, had encouraged to recover, and had been his support during the most hated and hurtful conversations with his mentor, she wasn't sure what to do to help. Would he welcome logic like Robin, or a burst of anger like Cyborg on how he was being an idiot? Would he like a soothing touch, or a lame joke? Or nothing at all?

He seemed to ignore her touch and shook his head tiredly. "Bruce respects Dick, Rae. Ollie and me… we don't have what they have. If Oliver Queen said I'm no longer fit to be who I was with him – no longer fit to be Speedy, than I won't be. It's that simple."

Pushing away, he shunned her comfort and walked to the entrance, never looking back at her. She felt slightly stung by his refusal but knew it was nothing against her. Roy was hurting and no amount of words or soft touches would heal him that night.

Gracefully, Raven followed in his wake to see him sitting on the curb, a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He barely noticed it there, looking up at the stars; his face clear of emotions. Raven knew it was all a farce; the fact his emotions weren't burning him up inside was more of a surprise. She could sense the storm inside of him, it was almost all consuming.

She knew it wasn't healthy for the man to keep it inside. Roy was emotional; it was what made him such a great formidable hero. He was passionate, impulsive and feed off of the adrenaline that fights provided him. Much like Star, his emotions fed him during battles. Raven wondered if a release, something to break the dam, would benefit him like it did in battles?

"So you smoke now?"

"Don't be judgey Raven," Roy teased darkly, flicking ashes away. He took a deep drag, fumbling a bit. The alcohol was hitting him hard already. "Most junkies take to smoking to help with cravings."

"Most junkies." She repeated, hearing and feeling his self loathing clearly. Almost angrily, she sat next to him, yanking her black hoodie off and tossing it aside. "You're right, most junkies would subcomb to the feeling of needing something to keep the edge off."

Wary eyes caught hers' as she all about growled at him. She yanked the cigarette away and threw it across the street, the burnt end looking like a flying lightening bug in the late summer night. "When will you get it through your head Roy, that you're not just a junkie? You're not even a junkie – you're a hero damn it!"

Shaking his head, ready to fight with the demoness, she grabbed him by the chin and held his gaze. "No, you need to listen to me." She pointed to his chest – right where his heart was. "You are a great hero. A man of his word. A friend. A leader. Who made one mistake, and lost clear judgement in a very tough situation." Dropping her hand, she shrugged tiredly, feelings leaving her. She had been feeding off of his stray ones but also of her own frustration. It was quickly dwindling away. "We are human Roy. We are allowed to make mistakes. Humans are not perfect. It's what make us always able to learn from those mistakes. It makes us great."

Biting her lip, she saw him turn away, jaw tense. He cleared his throat, finding his voice minutes after her snap and when he spoke, he sounded lost; defeated. "My mistake cost me my family Rae. I'm not that great of a hero, let alone human being, if what I did took my family from me. I lost Ollie. I lost my name. I don't know what to do now. I don't have anything else."

Smiling softly, a ghost of a sincere smile, Raven placed a hand gently on his calloused one. "That's where we start then. The part of getting over your addiction isn't just battling the urges. It's starting over – making yourself better so you never get back there." Lowering her voice, violet eyes wide and reflecting of the crescent moon overhead, she looked wise but innocent all the same. "Aqualad wouldn't want you to go back there. He'd want you to be better."

Sniffling, Roy let loose a strangled laugh. "Starting over eh? New name, new identity." His eyes fell to hers', a clear intent covering his handsome features. "Maybe even finding a girl that can see past the junkie side, and see what he can't see is underneath?"

Raven's brows furrowed, chewing her bottom full lip. "Well of course there would be someone out there capable of seeing past one side to your personanlity. I'm sure Robin wouldn't approve of anyone learning of your past addiction until you told your teammates – privacy and security coming to mind."

Smiling wide, a daring laugh on the tip of his tongue, Roy shook his head at the hero beside him. Sometimes she was too naïve that it was adorable. "No Raven, that's not exactly what I meant." Cupping her face, he caressed her smooth, cool cheeks reverently. "There's something I've been wanting to do for a while now."

She looked curiously at him, placing her hands on his own, ready to pull them away and ask what he was thinking when he leaned forward and she felt the warm rush of his lips brushing hers'.

Raven froze, but Roy continued and before soon, Raven melted under his touch, revealing in the swirling of emotions his touch was causing within her mind and body. His lips were hot, his emotions churning just under the surface, breathing into her. Something about it made her hungry – she wanted to devour his emotions, feed on them. They were raw, tangible and she craved to ease not only his pain, but to match the ferocity he was showing her.

He nipped her lips, his tongue madly meshing within her mouth. At one point she thought she heard a moan – hers' or his' she wasn't quite sure – but continued on regardless.

Dimly, Raven was aware as she battling for dominance that Roy Harper was her first kiss.

* * *

The sun was gone by the time the video game competition started. The soft waves of the bay rocked gently against the island the Tower sat upon. Inside the Tower, it was a different story.

The green shifter, a hyper alien princess and up until then demure blonde had been sitting on the couch talking amicably. Then "Dirt Racer 4" had been introduced into the group by one of a large cybernetic man. Then it was a full blown chaotic ride in the common room, as pillows were tossed aside, two drivers took to a chase and Star refereed loudly in the middle. Chips were thrown about the green carpeting, cans of soda sat way the wayside, some open and others not - and a bowl of skittles was nearly gone.

Robin leaned in the kitchen, a cup of black coffee by his elbow, as Cy sat at the counter, a bowl of popcorn being slowly but steadily devoured in front of him. Both were watching the other three - the blonde in particular.

"She seems normal." Cy offered, poping a kernel into his mouth.

"Seems is very different than is." His leader replied, earning a quick nod from his second in command. "Are you running the tests?" His voice was lowered, eyes trained on the trio in the common room.

Cy shrugged. "Running them as we speak. Just so happened to grab that piece of hair from the T-Car, before we all came in. Luckily for us, we kept Terra's old things, including a hairbrush."

"And if they match?" Cyborg as Robin, looking to his left.

Robin was stoic, eyes unreadable behind his masked eyes. "We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."

There was a heavy pause as Cyborg rubbed his face tiredly. He glanced to the clock in his arm, and sighed. "The tests should be done soon. But I wished Raven was here."

His thoughts being echoed, Robin glanced to Cy, eyebrow raised. "Raven?"

Cy smirked. "She has a few impressions of Terra left. She could tell us if this is the real one or not. Not to mention, she's been gone fourteen hours without a word. I'm worried about her."

Snorting, Robin shook his head. He wouldn't let on that he had been feeling the same thing; he had a gut wrenching panic that he hadn't heard from her for the better part of the day. But he knew Raven - if she was in trouble, she would call. The fact she hadn't, at least put him at a somewhat ease. Even if she was alone. With Speedy. Doing God knew what. And he wasn't there to keep an eye on her should she need it.

"Raven is strong, Cy. If she was in trouble, she'd reach out to us." At Cy's curious if not betrayed expression, Robin shrugged. "We have to trust she's okay Vic. If not, we'd be nothing but a bunch of worried superheroes, going out, bringing her home without a second thought. And we can't do that."

Cyborg snorted darkly. "Speak for yourself," he muttered and when a flashing on his arm went off, he and his leader paused. Clicking a few digital buttons, Cy took a deep breath. "Test results are done."

Robin pushed off the counter, gesturing to his second in command to follow. "We'll look at them in lab. I don't need BB know about this and freaking out. Seeing this Tara almost undid him out in the city. I don't want to stress him out."

Cy stood, shaking his head. "Little dude is already stressed out, boss man. His dead girlfriend is back from the dead - which I'm pretty sure he knew from her reaction when he found her but that's not the point - and now she's back, with no memories. And we're not even sure it's her. Not to mention, Garth's death was just a few months ago, and he's still coming to terms with that one. Stressed, yeah he's already there."

Glaring, as the doors opened to allow them to exit, Robin growled out, "I know Vic. I know. But I don't want to add to all of that, now do I?"

Smiling brightly, Cy whistled. "Probably not." And they headed down to the medlab to look at their reports.

* * *

The lab was silent except for a beeping noises, the whirl of a computer, and the two heroes breathing. The plasma that Robin had used months ago to help connect Cy back together, and what had monitored Raven's healing was a mess of graphs, charts and two lines - one green, the other red.

The green one was a sample from their Terra that had been left on her hairbrush. when she had left, she had left behind a few items, and BB had insisted on preserving the items in case she came back. When she did come back, but as Slade's puppet, the team had all but pushed the items into a deep storage, away from their eyes. Raven had suggested burning the things - something Cy had backed up - but they had held on. Most had to do with their hope Terra wasn't as evil as she seemed.

When it appeared she was, the box was forgotten. Then when she sacrificed herself for their safety, turning to stone, Cyborg had rediscovered the box and sorted the things, looking for something to help them heal her. They owed her - for her sacrifice, for her end loyalty, for her friendship - and they wanted their friends back.

Now the same hairbrush was on the counter, the single strand run into a test tube, liquidated and being compared to the new sample Tara had provided.

The plasma wasn't helping them.

Rubbing the bridge of his nose, Robin removed his mask and sighed tiredly. He had left it on in front of Tara, just in case. Much like Cy hadn't alluded to what his new upgrades allowed him to accomplish; they couldn't risk being found out. "Vic, I can't understand on this screen. What does it say?"

"I'm working on it Rob," Cyborg responded, eyes glued to a microscope. The screen fizzled again, a bit cleared but still too much going on. "You don't have to stay. Once I get things straightened out, I'll call you."

"No," Robin replied, sitting at the counter with his friend and teammate. "I'll wait. It's not like I'm doing anything else."

"Other than worry about Raven, you mean." Cy said cheekily. He could feel Robin's glare. "It's plain to see Rob, man. You've been withdrawn all day. It's getting late and you're still out of it." He pushed a few buttons, things on the screen changing. "She's with Roy. He won't anything happen to her."

"Whatever you say," he muttered arguably. "After everything we've gone through, I'd just rather have her close by. Just in case."

"Trust me, I hear you on that." He adjusted the screen one last time and just the two colored lines appeared in front of them. "Alright, that should do it."

Robin looked blankly at the screen and yawned. "Vic, you and I both know I have recently graduated with an advanced bachelor's in Criminal Justice, a minor in Law studies, with a certification in Forensic Science. Biology, isn't my deal. What's it mean?"

Chuckling, Cyborg stood up, rubbing the back of his neck. "Honestly, I'm not sure either." He pointed to the green line where it intersected the red. "Here and here, it seems it's the same. It's a match."

"But it's not identical." His leader supplied, crossing his arms.

"Right. Here and here," he pointed at other spots carefully. "This says their not related. But the other spots say they're one in the same. There's only two answers for this indecision."

"Which are?"

He clicked his tongue, pulling up a few sheets from the counter, scanning them carefully. "Either my machine is malfunctioning, which is not possible as it just was upgraded and is directly attached it me. If it's malfunctioning, than so am I. The only plausible reason is the DNA sample we have must be contaminated. There's no real answer if this Tara is our Terra."

Slumping in his chair, Robin groaned, and promptly hung his head back over the edge of the barstool back. "Would it be too much to ask for Raven back?"

"Nope. I was thinking the same thing."

* * *

Walking back to the common room, they entered, seeing a smiling Tara hugging Starfire tightly.

"I had so much fun today. Thank you for inviting me over."

"You are most welcome, friend." Star replied, easing from the grasp she held on to the petite girl. "You must remember you are always welcomed here."

They exchanged a few more words before Tara walked over to Beast Boy, a hesitant and kind smile on her face. "I guess it wasn't so weird being here. Not like last time."

"No," he agreed. He kicked his toe at the carpet. "Listen, I never got to say... I never apologized for before. When I saw you the first time."

Robin moved closer to the pair, wrapping an arm around Star's waist in the process, Cyborg coming closer too. They listened intently. "It wasn't fair to push everything on you. You're not who I thought you were." The little green guy shrugged, running a hand through his green stiff locks. "But I wouldn't mind getting to know you."

The mature, understanding man before them was a different Beast Boy they knew and loved. All three of their faces were shocked, if not understanding.

Tara pushed a strand of blonde behind her ear. "You know, you're not half bad." she smiled and hugged the hero warmly. "I wouldn't mind getting to know you either." She whispered into his pointed ear.

He grinned brightly, holding her close. "Cool. And like Star said, you're welcomed here anytime."

"I'll remember that." She said pulling away. Glancing to her watch, she grimaced. "I need to get home. I've got a lot of homework to get done before classes on Monday. I'll talk to you all later."

She took off to the main doors, waving behind her casually as she made a big dash to leave. When silence descended, Cyborg yawned loudly, stretching high above his head. "She's allowed to come back." He cracked his neck. "But let's not give her the security codes. Not yet anyway. "

Gar glared at his friend, fists going to his hips in defiance. "Really Cy? You think she's a bad guy?"

"Hey, I'm just saying. Let's not go and blow up our secrets because we think she may be Terra."

The hot gaze from his best friend would've made anyone wilt. Not Cyborg.

"She's not dangerous. She's just a Biology student.-"

"BB," Robin interrupted, voice stern but kind. "We know. But like anyone else we invite over that isn't part of the Titans, no divulging secrets that could potentially harm us or the people we protect." That settled that. "But we do need to tell you something," he said glancing to Vic who sighed, resigned.

"We may have run her DNA against Terra's old DNA sample."

The reaction they got wasn't the one they had been expecting.

The shifter's eyes grew large, and his mouth was almost to the ground. His whole body hummed nervous, excited energy. Even Star bit her lip in confusion. "And? And? What did you find!"

"Inconclusive," Robin replied steadily. The hero deflated instantly. "It could be because our sample was too old, not enough to compare, degraded. Whatever the reason, it's inconclusive."

BB wasn't dissuaded so easily. "What about Rae? She can scan her mind right? Get a read on her emotions or something?"

Vic scratched his jaw, shrugging. "We thought the same thing. But Rae isn't here. And we can't force her to delve into Tara's mind without either one's consent. Rae's powers are fickle lately, you know this. We don't even know if she can do it anymore. She's still learning her boundaries and what she can do."

Nodding, Gar's shoulders slumped. "Right. But we can ask her right?"

Robin smirked, going to the younger man and clapped him on the shoulder. "Of course we can. But for now, let's refrain from thinking of Tara as our Terra, and remember not to say anything we shouldn't." BB rolled his eyes and drifted away from the leader, not unkindly.

"Got it boss man. I'm heading to bed." He yawned, followed closely by Cy, who waved to the rest of the team silently. Within moments, all that was left in the common room was Robin and Starfire.

Glancing to his girlfriend Rob cocked an eyebrow, mask back firmly in place. "How are you feel Star? You weren't doing well this morning."

Smiling as big as she could, Star nodded. "I am better. It was nothing this morning. Though I am quite tired from our activities today." She stretched, her shirt riding higher on her stomach. She could feel Robin's eyes on her.

Slowly, almost like a predator, he walked over to her, and wrapped his arms around her. He leaned his forehead against hers' and brushed his lips against her thin ones. "If you're feeling better..."

Breathlessly, Star shook her head slowly. "I am tired Robin. Not tonight." Her heart fluttered in her chest as Robin nodded, quietly understanding and respecting her wishes.

"I get it, Star." He kissed her, deeply, holding her face close to his tenderly. "I'll head to bed then. Have a good night." He whispered, putting a strand of hair behind her ear.

She smiled lovingly at her boyfriend as he departed. As soon as he was gone, the smile disappeared.

Longing struck her hard, but more than that, the ultimate despair of the choice that loomed over her head. How could she leave them? How could she leave Robin?

Needing comfort, Star took off to the one place she always felt secure and protected.

* * *

The ride back to the Tower had been quicker than Raven remembered it. But it could've been because her mind had been elsewhere and she thoughtfully had placed the plane on autopilot to her home coordinates.

To say the last twenty four hours were anything short of a blur would be an underestimation. The fact she could barely walk back to her room without her knees shaking or without a small smile forming on her lips was a good indication it was a good blur.

And the kisses Roy and she shared were… the smile on her face grew.

She wasn't sure if it helped the archer or not. She had only wanted to ease his pain, something in her driving her on to end his hurt at his rejection of his mentor. The kisses were fantastic, and Happy was in her glory; but she wasn't sure if she succeeded in helping the hero. He needed to express his emotions; bottling them wouldn't work for him.

As she reached her door, a stark thought had occurred to her. What if she had only made it worse? The man was hurting, emotionally recovering from a tramatic encounter and he was acting out. What if their exchange – their shared intimacy was nothing? Perhaps it was his way of expressing himself, with her? If that was the case, Raven did nothing but hinder his healing.

The smile fell from her lips, just as the door into her bedroom pulled back. Walking swiftly in, her thoughts scattered into tiny pieces of self regret and remorse. With his pain, and confusion and lostness, their shared time together couldn't have been anything but the heat of the moment. And it stung Raven deeply.

Besides, how could it have helped him? She had toyed with his emotions, and he had with hers'. She was still learning emotions, still growing. He was still recovering. Their exchange was nothing more but pent up emotions breaking free. And it hurt the empath to think of it that way, but she knew it had to be true. Because what would Roy want with her – if Richard never looked at her like that?

"Friend Raven?" A small voice said to her right, making the dark woman jump into the air in fright. Lighting two hands into large balls of black energy, Raven whirled around.

Starfire stood there, her pink and blue plaid pajama bottoms and matching button down shirt shinning brightly in the darkness of the room, hands raised. "It is only me Raven. I do not mean you harm." At her soothing, almost placating tone, Raven glanced down to her hands.

She looked ready to fight. Pulling the energy back – more difficult when her emotions were crazy and her heart was in her throat from being startled and the emotions over her encounter with Roy – she lowered her fists and glared at her friend. "Starfire, it's four in the morning. I've been flying for the last seven hours. I've had a very emotionally draining day and I've barely slept. Why are you in my room?"

Raven turned her back to her friend, going to her dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts and a plain black tank top with a smirking rabbit on the front - a gag gift from Beast Boy after their trip into Mumbo's hat. At the silence that answered her, she turned back, already stripping. "Starfire?"

She shifted her weight, her flaming locks still beautifully curled from earlier in the day. "I did not mean to intrude on your space or to cause discomfort. I understand you have had a very tiring trip with Roy to Star City. I only came in here because," she drifted off, wringing her hands together. Raven finished changing, and slipping on bulky socks, watching her intently.

Her friend sniffled, and everything in Raven melted away to alarm and worry. "Kori, what happened?" She asked gently, her voice a tired grit in the darkness.

Starfire rubbed her nose and hugged herself. "I only came into your room while you were gone because I needed comfort. And I only felt this kind of comfort with yourself." Crumpling to the floor, Star began to softly cry into her sunkissed hand. "I am lost friend Raven and need your advice."

Raven's mouth dropped open and without a word, went to Starfire's side on autopilot. Softly, she wrapped her lean arms around the young alien's slender, model-like shoulders and felt her friend curl into her side like a small child seeking warmth from a mother. This, Raven could handle; she didn't know what was upsetting her friend, but she knew how to comfort and heal her. This, she understood. This, Raven knew how to fix, and knew it would not hinder her health or development.

As soon as her arms closed in around Starfire, she broke down, sobbing into Raven's shoulder fitfully. And as a good friend, Raven adjusted herself to be more relaxed, and softly patted her hair, letting Star cry.

* * *

"So Blackfire is back." Raven repeated, putting the piecesof Kori's story together. The alien was laying on her side, head in Raven's lap, long strands over her knees as Raven toyed with them absentmindedly. "And Wildfire is missing." It wasn't surprising Raven remembered her young brother's name; when they had switched bodies and shared information, Starfire had told her about him.

He was much younger than her and Blackfire. He had been an unexpected delivery from her mother, looking much like herself than her older sibling. His eyes were wide and glowed a brilliant green, he had a joyous laugh, a strong back, and the desire to lead. He had followed her around as he grew before she was taken away by their eldest sister. Now, he was just old enough to entire Tamera warrior school - their training for all warriors that wished to defend their home. Now, he was missing.

"And I am expected to fight for the throne, in order to secure Blackfire from wrecking havoc on our world." Star meekly added, wiping a stray tear away swiftly. "It is my duty to fight for my world and my people. It is my duty to find Wildfire and protect him from our sister."

"But you don't want to." Raven supplied, voice calm and indifferent. Kori held on to that voice; the one of logic during meetings, the voice that was a calm reserve in battle; the voice that could get both Robin and Cyborg to listen when neither would hear the other in a heat of a debate. She wished she was as strong as her best friend - in control and secure.

"I was never meant to be Queen, Raven." Kori whispered. "At one point, I dreamed of wearing the crown that sat on my mother's head," her voice cracked and she felt Raven clap her hand within her larger one in silent understanding. "I dreamed of fighting for my people. I dreamed of defending my world. But when my brother was born, and Blackfire was sent away the first time for her evil deeds – my parents could not bear the thought of killing her – I dreamed of leaving. Of becoming more than just a monarch."

"I understand Kori," Raven answered, still playing with the girl's hair. It calmed her. "As second born, the throne was not meant to be yours'. And having a younger sibling meant that they would take the throne, should you ever have to decline." Raven sighed, propping her head against her bed. Something large and heavy felt to be laying on her chest and she suddenly couldn't breathe right. It was painful and uncomfortable, making the next words hard. "But you don't have that choice now."

"No, I do not." Kori looked up, lime eyes meeting violet ones. She bit her bottom lip. "What do I do friend Raven? What would you do in my situation?"

Raven's breath caught and she felt the prickling of tears at the corners of her eyes. What would she do? It didn't take a crystal ball for Raven to see what she had to do. She knew within her heart what she would in Kori's shoes; what she had, had to do in her shoes. She had sacrificed her life for her friends, for her world to be saved. She hadn't wanted to die, but she knew it was the only choice.

She also knew what her friend had to do; what she had been born to do in life. But she didn't want to say it. It meant she would leave. It meant Raven would be giving her the "ok" to leave and abandon them - leaving them alone. But she also knew she couldn't steer her wrong. It wasn't in Raven's nature to run from a fight for the good of those she loved; and it certainly wasn't in Star's nature to run either.

"Starfire," she said, voice becoming harsher as she tried to hold back the tears. "You are a warrior. You've always been one. You've been trained since birth to fight for the good of everyone. And your people need you. Your brother - your blood - needs you. Your world needs you now. As a hero, it is your duty not to let them suffer under Blackfire's reign."

Sadly, Star looked away, glancing to the door of Raven's room. They were silent, each preoccupided with thoughts for minutes. Slowly, Star sat up, and leaned against the bed beside Raven, eyes on the blue carpeting below.

She chewed her lip. "You are right, as always. I feel I knew you would say that, even before I asked it. And I was looking to you to say something different. Hoping that you would give me a way out of this duty that was lain on my shoulders. But there is not a way out. There is only one choice. There is only one path. I know I must become the Queen if it is to help my world."

Tears were pooling quickly in the empath's eyes but they didn't release. Raven didn't cry. She couldn't look at Star but nodded once. "And perhaps, you will find Wildfire, give him the throne and come back to us."

Crawling to face her, Star grasped her hands together and smiled. "I do wish that. And that is my ultimate plan." A tear fell from Star's large eyes and she smiled watery at Raven. "I will miss our talks friend Raven. Though Robin is my boyfriend, and I do love him, you are going to be the hardest to live without on my world. You are truly my best friend."

Raven's chest felt like it was being crushed by Cinderblock and she could only nod. She didn't trust herself to speak; if any words would form at all. Everything was blurry and she couldn't get enough oxygen; her head was spinning with thoughts and emotions but she didn't utter a single sound. Starfire seemed to understand and her smile only got bigger, even as more tears fell.

"And because you are my best friend, I need you to do one thing for me while I am gone." At her curious expression, Star shrugged. "Robin will not handle my leaving well. He does not handle change well. Without me, he might become reclusive." Both girls remembered Starfire's visit to the future and they shuddered in unison. Briefly, Raven wondered if she would become that cold and distant persona if Star didn't return. How would they handle life without Starfire here? "He will need someone to keep his hope of my return alive. He will need you to be there for him."

Panic quickly set in, as Raven pulled from her friend and vehemently shook her head. "Not me Starfire. Cyborg, Bee, Beast Boy, anyone else. I can't be that person for him." Cold fear gripped her heart. She still was locking away emotions for their leader. She was still trying to let them be together; she was still sacrificing for them. She couldn't be asked to be put in such a situation. She couldn't be his hope – not when she knew what that would entail.

Long talks about Starfire. Reminding Robin why he loved her. Reminding him that she was still there. Being that flicker of persistence and hope. It would kill her. Raven couldn't be that. She simply couldn't.

"Raven, please." Gripping her hands again, Star wiped away more tears. "The others cannot be what you are. Robin trusts you. He respects you. And above all, you are the only person who he will listen to when his thoughts turn dark. It has to be you, who keeps him reminded of why he is here, and what he must carry on while I am not here. As my best friend, only you I can trust to do this for me. I will not sleep easy if I don't have your promise in which to help me do this."

At her hopeful, earnest look, Raven crumpled. She was her best friend. How could she be selfish not to help her? How could she not help both her best friends? Robin would need someone to keep him focused. Starfire was right.

Not for the first time, Raven sacrificed a part of herself for her best friends.

Resignedly, Raven sighed, voice tight. "I promise Star. I promise."

* * *

The next morning came too early for the empath. Starfire had slept beside her on the large bed in her bedroom. They all piled into the kitchen like they did every morning. Raven held on to her cup of tea dearly as she watched everyone file in. She smiled at Beast Boy who grinned at her like she was a gift on Christmas given early; she hadn't realized the shifter would've missed her as much as his emotions said he did. Oddly, it warmed her.

Cyborg entered and gave her a bone crushing hug and a ruffle of locks on her head. She was suddenly lucky that she didn't bother showering before they met; she knew after Star gave her speech, she'd need the shower to soothe away her aching chest and clear the emotions of her teammates away. No amount of meditating or tea would get rid of those emotions, at least not right away.

Robin had been steadily studying her since before Cy and BB had entered. He didn't say hello to her, didn't give her a smile or a hug. He only studied her. It unnerved the empath, and made her shift uncomfortably. She knew what was coming, and it frightened her.

The mood of the common area changed when Star entered, dressed in her uniform. Normally they wore pajamas or regular civilian clothing. Raven herself was still in her pjs, hair a mess; much like Beast Boy. All three men looked at her in various levels of confusion. Then the common room door opened once more and in walked Roy.

"Roy?" She asked, her voice from lack of sleep sounding dark and gritty in the early morning light. She dropped the now empty mug on to the counter and moved to him as Star embraced Robin lovingly.

"Hey beautiful," he said sincerely, moving to hug her but she stopped short. She kept out of his reach and glanced to Star before shaking her head at the archer. She was concerned, but above all, confused by his presence, if not startled.

"Why are you here?" she asked sullenly. She still remembered her thoughts from the night before. What they had done had been wrong – and it didn't mean anything. It was a weakness, it was a longing. It wasn't what she had thought it was; she knew she was inexperienced in emotions. She knew she had misread their exchange. He couldn't possibly want her now, in the light of day, drunken words and harsh emotions gone.

At her tone, Roy cocked an eyebrow. He was in a simple t-shirt and dark jeans that hung low on his hips. It wasn't hard for Raven to see his attractiveness; his toned body was molded by the snug fitting clothing. She suddenly felt self-conscious at her state of undress. "Came to see you obviously. After yesterday, I've done some thinking. I needed to talk to you about a few things."

Moving closer, hugging her arms across her chest, Raven felt strangely vulnerable. Cy and BB hung close by, listening without appearing to do so; she could hear them messing around with her settle as if to make her another cup. Robin and Star were too engrossed in their own conversation to notice hers'. "Now isn't a good time." She felt herself begin to panic at what Roy would be witnessing if he stayed; the hurt, the anger, their breakdowns. Her breakdown. She didn't want him seeing that in her. It was weakness. He couldn't possibly see her like that.

She's be completely open and vulnerable to him. The knowledge he would see it, and use it against her, made her heart stop. He could break her.

"Why not? We should-"

"Friends," Star called out, moving away from a pouting Robin. No doubt he was still in the dark about why she wanted to speak and why she was dressed in her battle attire. Star had explained she would tell them as one - minus Raven. Taking a deep breath, Raven prepared her mental shields as best as she could with the little sleep she had aquired and only one cup of tea in her system.

"I asked Robin if I would take this morning meeting and speak to you all about a very important decision in my life. It was not made easily." She stared at everyone in turn. "In fact, there were tears. There are many contributing factors, and this does not come lightly to say." Star made contact with Raven who gave the smallest nod of encouragement. Quietly, she felt Roy drop his arm across her shoulders and she felt more grounded; more than she had felt in sometime.

"Tamera is in trouble. My parents, the King and Queen of my people were killed by my sister Blackfire two days time ago. Wildfire, my younger brother is missing. Blackfire has claimed control of my world." At the startled silence of the group, she stood taller. Something like a cloak of strength surrounded her and before their eyes their friend – the naiive alien princess – was replaced by the battle hardened warrior of her world and of their team. She stood before them a ruler; and though Raven felt proud, her stomach twisted into piles of knots.

"And as second born, I am being asked - though it is my duty and I should not be asked to do so – to stand up against her. I must challenge her to the right to lead Tamera in an ancient custom. It is hard and it is dangerous. And I must win. And become their Queen." The group was still silent, each processing her words at different speeds. It seemed Robin was the slowest to form. Raven felt her body freeze as the final words left Starfire's mouth. Her lungs forgot how to function. "Effective immediately, I must take my leave and return home. I must become Queen of my planet and rule my world. This means I am no longer a Titan and must... depart."

Raven counted to three before it happened. The entire kitchen blew up into a fit of loud yells, shireks and outrages - among strangled sobs. Without thinking, she let Roy wrap her into his arms, and she stayed buried, hiding from the truth of Star's words, her reasoning to their friends, block out the emotions that tried to pull her under and tried to pretend it was one giant cosmetic joke.

* * *

Roy leaned on the doorway, forehead pressed to the cold metal door. When he had decided, abeilt impulsively, to go to Titan's West and talk to Rae – to dechiper their feelings and maybe turn that one great make out session into something more – he hadn't expected to come into the middle of a team mental breakdown. His ears were still ringing from the shouts by Cyborg, and Gar's wails of protest. It all made his head spin.

Even Robin's silent anger had scared the archer a bit. He had never seen that look on Robin's face. It was intense, dark, and haunting. It was the anger of man losing everything and nothing at all. It'd be a long time before the Boy Wonder would ever let that one go.

And beyond all that, after Star explained in detail of why she had to leave, Tamera law, and her plans to ultimately return after giving her throne to her missing brother, the only thing he was worried about had been Raven.

The poor woman had shaken in his arms when Star dropped her bomb on to the team. It was all he could do to hold her; she refused to look up at the rest of them until they had all left. Vic had become in charge of preparing a ship for Star's departure the following morning, BB in charge of gathering everything for her to take home, and Robin to brood in his thoughts. When they had left, the demoness hadn't even looked up at him, but pulled from his embrace and teleported to her room.

That night, the team had gathered for one final meal together; a small feast with all of Star's favorite earth foods. Of course he had stayed to partake – he still needed to talk to Raven – but the empath hadn't showed to the dinner. He could tell Star was hurt by it, but he also knew the alien couldn't fault her. This was how Raven was dealing with her soon to be gone friend; cutting ties early, and trying to keep a distance. She was preparing the best way she knew how.

Everyone seemed to respect Raven's desire to remain hidden. Not Roy.

Firmly, he knocked on the door and waited ten seconds before he heard movement behind the metal slab. She didn't open it. He knocked again. "Raven, I know you're in there. Open up."

Ten more seconds. "Now, or I'll bribe Cy to open the door with full access to Titans East to be with Bee, if I need to." Finally the door pulled enough for just a silver of her face to show, one red eye catching his burning gaze.

"What do you want Roy?"

"You missed dinner," he said slowly. He pushed the door open further and she didn't fight him.

She stepped back, wearing just a thin black tank top and a pair of tight skinny jeans. She looked fraile, tiny; like she hadn't eaten in days. Ignoring his intent inspection, she crossed her arms and looked to the corner of her room. "I wasn't hungry."

"Liar," he remarked darkly, moving toward her. He stopped short just a few inches. "You didn't want to see Star. You didn't want to be around them. You've been crying." He pointed out, noticing her button nose was slightly pink and the edge of her lashes her wet. If he wasn't standing so closely, he'd never be able to tell.

"Go away Roy," she spat out, glaring hotly at him. "I don't want to talk to anyone."

"Good," he nodded, crossing to her bed. He sat down as if he belonged there. Raven's eyes twitched. "I didn't really feel like talking. Thought we could stare at each other until you finally fell asleep. That seems like a great way to spend the night, with a guy in your room, and a wide open bed to share available."

"I'm not tired," she stubbornly said, pouting slightly. She completely ignored his innuendo; this was serious. If he couldn't bait her, he'd have to try something else. He cocked an eyebrow, smirking. He saw right through her defenses.

When had he begun to see the real Raven under that hard, indifferent surface? Before his episode, during their friendly team gatherings, or after, when she nursed him back to health and talked him out of his self misery?

"Rae," Roy started, licking his lips. He had to say something to break the dam. Raven was hurting and hiding it wasn't helping her. The girl bottled everything up – she couldn't this time. If he couldn't bait, he'd have to be direct. And Roy was always the type to never beat around the bush. "She's leaving in the morning. She's not going to be here after that. You should see her. At least see her off."

She looked away, her bottom lip trembling. "No, I don't."

"No?" Roy repeated, disbelief coating his tone. "She's your best friend-"

"And she's leaving me," she spat out, eyes becoming watery again. Her lips trembled and her breathing turned ragged. "And she's not coming back. And I'm not sure how…" Her voice stopped and she sniffled. "I don't how I'm supposed to handle this. I'm not sure how I can help my friends through this. Robin will…" she cut off, a sob choking her words in her throat.

Without thinking, Roy stood and grabbed her. She began to cry, hard, deep-felt, mournful cries; something that one would make if their friend were dying, not leaving them. In Raven's case, Roy assumed it was the same. He knew a little about Raven's past; snippets from conversations between Vic and Karen on his visits when she would ask about his adopted sister. He knew her mother had left her, the monks that had raised her had also abandoned her when she needed them most; and that her world was dead, destroyed by her father.

In Raven's mind, leaving meant abandonment and almost certain death. Her fear of losing Star was strong, and almost suffocating to the archer now that he understood why.

"I know Rae, I know." He soothed, scooping her up into his arms. Gently he carried her to the bed and settled her on his lap, holding her as she cried. "Let it out Raven. Don't hold back." And she cried harder, shaking.

As Roy held her, rubbing her neck as she curled into the crook of his arm and shoulder, Roy couldn't believe this was the same woman he had fought with. She felt tiny, broken; not confident, intimidating, sassy and strong – traits he had always associated with the mystic. Now, he was seeing her human side; and all he wanted to do was protect her. Was this how Vic saw her – the little sister with the weight of Spirits knew what on her tiny shoulders? Was this why Robin was always just a step behind her in battles?

This woman was broken but the strongest one he had ever known. And something stirred in his chest as he held her tighter.

Hours passed as Roy held her, rubbing her back as she cried. It was just about dawn that she finally fell asleep, and the archer placed her into her warm and dark bed. Without thought, he crawled in next to her, and adjusted her head to rest on his chest, his arms around her. Even in sleep, he wanted to make sure she felt protected. She needed it; especially as everything around her changed and her best friend left her to fight her own battles, she needed to feel not so alone in the chaos.

He hadn't dozed off more than two hours before a quiet knock rippled from Raven's bedroom door. The empath didn't stir; it was proof of how tired she had been as she was notoriously a light sleeper, and how spent the tears had made her. Using a little bit of finesse, Roy pulled from her warm body and walked to the door just as the individual knocked again.

Seeing Robin was not who he expected. If anything, he thought he'd see Star wanting to spend time with her best friend before her departure. But the leader stood there, black locks disheveled. His blue eyes were red and raw, as if he had stayed up all night – which wasn't too unlikely. It was his love leaving in a few short hours.

What Roy wasn't expecting was his state of undress. Dick was wearing a pair of loose black sleep pants, shirtless. Roy narrowed his eyes at the tone muscle and lightly decipherable scars that littered the expanses of flesh; though he smirked sarcastically at the leader as if nothing was wrong. Is this how he normally appeared to Raven? Was this something he'd have to wonder about, living on the other coast, if he and Rae could ever settle what they were?

He paused in mid thought. He'd cross that bridge if they ever got there.

Leaning on the door, Roy didn't miss the look of suspicion that crossed the Boy Wonder's face. He smiled wider at seeing it. He could clear as day see Dick's feelings; how had no one, including Raven, ever noticed it before? He'd only been there a day, and he could see it all. Was the team blind? It almost pained him to see the over protectiveness and caring side Dick had for the mystic. Sizing him up, Roy let a giant breath of air loose and calmed the strong urge to puff his chest up. "Morning Dick." Roy said happily, voice laced with tiredness. His body was stiff from comforting Raven, but he didn't show it.

"Roy," he greeted quietly. He glanced behind him, seeking out the owner of the room. "Is Raven awake?"

"No," he shook his head, rubbing the falling locks casually. He was letting them get long, but Dick looked like he could almost pull it back into a short stub of hair. "She's had a tiring night." Roy wanted to wink, but he knew Raven would be pissed if he made it seem worse than a simple crying fit they had endured together. "She just fell asleep. Star leaving got to her."

Rubbing his chest, Dick nodded. "Yeah, I know." He stayed silent, staring past Roy's shoulder. There was no doubt he could see the lump in the bed, and the messed up covers of where his body had been. But he never commented on it. "I just wanted to talk to her. Before everything."

And though Roy could see there was more to Dick's intent toward Rae – maybe more than even the leader could see - Roy still remembered he was losing Star today. He was losing his first love; the girl that he had fallen head over heels for, saved from alien pursuers, trusted with his life. Roy's heart broke for the guy.

Clapping him on the shoulder, Roy smiled sadly. "I know, man. I'm here, ya know. In case…" Roy let the sentence hang and the leader nodded.

He looked grateful, but it still wasn't the person he wanted to talk to at the door. Roy could see that. "Right. I know, thanks." He glanced one last time behind Roy and sighed inaudibly. "When she wakes up, I'll talk to her. Get some rest."

"I will." Dick turned away, heading back to his room. "Hey Dick," Roy called out. The hero stopped and tilted his head to listen. "When does Star leave?"

Almost dejectedly, he whispered, "9AM, sharp." And he disappeared down the hallway.

Shaking his head, Roy headed back to Raven's room. Crawling back into his spot, he saw that they still had a good four hours before Star departed. Using the best of his time, Roy cuddled Raven to his chest, and tucked her head under his chin; silently, before drifting off to sleep, he was amazed at how easily she fit there.

* * *

**AN:** Phew. There's that. Is it sad that I have pieces of the next chapter already written, before this was ever close to becoming finished?

**Next installment:** We say goodbye to Starfire, Raven and Roy make a decision about their status, BB holds on to hope, and a new face shakes things up.

Thanks for reading! Leave me a line!


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